


Lost

by Out0fMyHead



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dark Ron Weasley, F/M, Grey Dumbledore, M/M, Romance, non-canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-02-01 09:59:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 44
Words: 69,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12702546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Out0fMyHead/pseuds/Out0fMyHead
Summary: Hermione is cursed, her memories lost and her life in danger. What's more she's been hit with a curse almost unheard of. Only the darkest of wizards can comfort her, luckily Severus Snape is available to offer her aid.Unluckily this starts them on the rocky path to a complex and dangerous relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not mine, don't own it, love J.K Rowling.  
> Unedited, Unbeta-ed, first draft

The girl walked down a poorly lit path with a certain purpose in her step. Thick brown curls swayed behind her as she navigated over thick, gnarled tree roots and beneath low hanging branches. She walked with a confidence that did not betray her nervousness, her feeling of overwhelming anxiety being in the depths of the forbidden forest in the middle of the night.

What little moonlight shone through the treetops did nothing to light her way and she acted almost on instinct alone as she moved through the trees. In her hand, there was a wadded piece of parchment, crumpled almost past the point of reading. The trailing end of her cloak caught on one of those branches and stalled her for a moment, earning a curse under her breath.

Why had Harry and Ron told her to meet them out here in the first place? She assumed it was because they wanted to speak outside the prying eyes of Umbridge and her cronies but surely this was going just a bit far. Wouldn’t the room of requirement have made as good a meeting place as the dying trees of the forbidden forest?

Hermione stalled her steps for a moment, her eyes wide as a sudden realization crashed over her. Harry and Ron- they would not meet her in the middle of the forest! Ron was terrified of the spiders who dwelled within and Harry could not navigate a place like the forest without her! He was hopeless without a map and someone to navigate for him. Her stomach dropped well out of her body and she cast a shield charm that barely dulled the sensation of a powerful curse crashing right into the center of her spine.

She fell to her hands and knees and whimpered at the sensation of hard earth, dead leaves, and gnarled roots digging into her tender palms. The heat at her back spread outward quickly soon working its way to her neck. What was it? She could not identify it!

Her arms gave and she fell face first to the forest floor. Where was she again? What was happening?

Her vision blacked, in and out. No one spoke, not a sound reached her ears as total darkness reached in around her, consuming her. It wrapped around her like an icy blanket until she was gone from herself- there was nothing, complete nothingness cradled her.


	2. I - Anguis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not mine, don't own it, love J.K Rowling.  
> Unedited, Unbeta-ed, first draft

 

The path to Hogwarts was dark as he strode towards the entrance doors. Rocks crunched under his boots and there was a chill in the air that forced him to pull his cloak tighter to his slender frame. He was all but a furnace on the coldest of days but the chill of a Scottish night upon the approach of winter could- and often did- sap the warmth from even his bones. He noticed ahead of him a familiar hulking figure and slowed his pace, he had no desire to speak with the great oaf on an evening after having been called away to meet his _Lord_ and _Master_.

He sneered; no, he may not be any worse physically but he still found the entire ordeal completely and utterly draining. Emotionally he was completely shot, navigating one’s way around a madman had a tendency to leave one with the slimy feeling of having been violated. Especially when one was forced to allow that madman a bit of gallivanting about in their head. He’d been in a hurry to return as well, truth be told.

The Dark Lord had informed him that something was happening at Hogwarts, something that would change the very course of the war in _his_ favor and it managed to worry Severus rather acutely. He had the niggling feeling that something very bad was happening while he was away from the castle- especially with a lack of Bellatrix Lestrange on the roster of attending Death Eaters.

Wherever the mad bint was, trouble would surely follow. He failed to see however how she would find her way onto Hogwarts grounds. The thought soothed him but little and he watched with a furrowed brow as the hulking figure of Hagrid, groundskeeper and Professor of Magical Creatures, moved much more quickly than he was typically wont to do.

It was then he saw the sway of hair spilling over the half-giant’s arm and his worry kicked up a notch. A tightness in his throat that he forced down in an attempt to stay his rising panic. He couldn’t be sure that the limp figure now completely obvious in Hagrid’s arms was any more than a moronic student who’d snuck out and ended up slipping and knocking their head.

 _No need to go into a dizzying panic now, mate._ He told himself, still yet his pace increased until he’d nearly caught up to the half-giant who stopped in his tracks and turned to his fellow Professor.

“Ah Merlin Perfesser! Yer a sight fer sore eyes ye are! I foun’ miss Granger ‘ere in ther forest. Looks like she’s been hexed somethin’ fierce ‘n left fer dead. I was headin’ fer the hospital wing but ye’ll know what ter do ter waker up wontchya?” Severus nearly flinched every time he spoke directly to the half-giant. He’d tamed the terrible speech patterns of his poor upbringing on Spinner’s End to a near nonexistent level and he expected that others were certainly capable of the same self-control.

“Miss Granger you say? Hexed, certainly not. She was probably out gallivanting with her good for nothing comrades and simply knocked herself out. Now let’s see her then.” He huffed and with a simple _Lumos_ lit his wand to look the young woman over. Her chest moved in slow, shallow breaths and if that were not enough to be concerning the multiple scrapes and bruises that covered every inch of her exposed skin was. Her body shook softly in the other wizard’s arms and Severus pulled on his best sneer.

Circe, it was worse than he’d thought. She had very obviously been tortured within an inch of her life. Poor thing. “Well, whatchya reckon happened to ‘er, Perfesser?” Hagrid spoke softly as he cradled the limp, rag doll of a girl to his chest. His massive beard appeared to be attempting a takeover of the girl’s face next as he stared at her.

“She appears to have been hexed. Come, we need to bring her to Poppy, it would be unwise to _Ennervate_ her while she is in such condition.” He turned and began sweeping his way toward the large double doors. He could hear the heavy footfalls that told him the large, hairy beast of a man was following behind him quickly. He could hear the half-giant’s soft mutterings to the girl that she was safe now and swallowed around the knot in his throat.

This would certainly come as a blow to the side of the light. The Dark Lord had gotten one thing perfectly right that evening, he had shifted the odds just that much further in his favor.

 _Merlin, if Potter finds out the impertinent little dunderhead will go running in there blind._ Severus heaved a silent breath and shook his head at the thought. He needed to contact Dumbledore as soon as the girl was settled in the Hospital Wing.

**

“How is she, Poppy?” Albus asked kindly as the two men stepped into the Hospital Wing. It was morning and the soft rays of sunlight were streaming through one of the many large windows that decorated the east wall of the room.

Severus of course entered behind the elder wizard, his eyes fixed on nothing and everything all at once as he swept into the room and stood stalk still at the witch’s bedside. Poppy was there giving both men a somber look as she adjusted Hermione Granger’s pillows and shook her head.

“Well, it doesn’t look good, Headmaster. I would say the girl’s been tortured with the _Cruciatus_ curse. Clearly they used it on her for much longer than we’ve seen a healthy minded person come out of unscathed and it is clear there is some residual nerve damage.” As if to accentuate the words the girl’s fingers began twitching uncontrollably and Severus furrowed his brow.

He knew the feeling of those involuntary spasms, the pain of being subjected to the Cruciatus for an extended period of time.

“Will she wake on her own?” Minerva spoke softly, tender eyes never leaving the witchling laid out in the bed. He knew this was one of her prized cubs and he was tempted to feel bad for her. Tempted did not mean he would however. Certainly, if it were one of his snakes she’d feel as little pity as he did.

“As of right now she has woken twice screaming and both times I have been forced to give her calming draughts and dreamless sleep. She appeared to be disoriented on both occasions and did not seem to recognize me. I’m afraid we will need to explore the possibility of brain damage similar to that suffered by the Longbottoms.” Minerva covered her mouth and looked away. Albus wrapped her in his arms as Severus simply gazed on.

_Potter is going to absolutely lose his mind when he discovered this little turn of events._

Severus felt ill, the boy would ruin all of their hard work- all of his suffering would be for naught if this got to the stubborn headed Gryffindor.

“What will we do with her then?” Severus spoke lowly in the room and turned his gaze from the prone figure of the suffering witch to his employer embracing his fellow Professor. Dumbledore gave him a somber look but said nothing to correct his assumption that this would need to be swept neatly under the rug if they were to carry on and eventually win this war.

“You’re a cold-hearted snake, Severus Snape! She is still a person, still Hermione.” Minerva cooed as she broke away from Albus and approached the girl on the bed. Poppy stopped her with a look just short of touching the girl and shook her head.

“No, Minnie, touch causes her pain. Hagrid barely shifted the poor thing and she was screaming in agony.” Severus was still watching Minerva, a woman who had always been like a sister to him as she stared down at her cub. He felt a twinge in the icy armor around his heart and forced himself to fortify it quickly.

“The boy will go into a mad rage once this is discovered.” He spoke slowly, calmly and Minerva’s sharp eyes pierced him as she turned to face him.

She heaved a breath and appeared to be preparing to go on a tirade when a familiar old, gnarled hand hooked over her shoulder. “Minerva, he is only being logical. We must do what is best for the side of the light or her suffering will be for nothing.”

The elder witch heaved a long suffering breath and stared from one occupant of the room to the next. Her eyes finally landing on the girl in the bed before she straightened her spine and gave a soft nod.

“We will have her transported to St. Mungo’s tomorrow morning. I assume you can care for her until such a time, Poppy?” Albus spoke, his wise voice burdened with the pressure of this blow and the Matron gave a soft nod.

“I will do everything I can for her.” She nodded. Severus swept from the room glad for it all to be settled. He needed rest, he’d not slept in going on three days and his body, and mind were beginning to feel considerably weakened for it.

For some reason when he lay in his bed, his hands folded across his stomach and his blankets situated just so about his chest he could not find sleep. Instead he stared for far too long into the lax face of Hermione Granger, burned into the inside of his eyelids.


	3. II - Memoria Absentis

 

Hermione woke with a dry throat. It was all she was entirely aware of in fact, was that her throat was so incredibly dry, and sore, that she was certain she would die if she didn’t receive a drink of water that instant. Opening her eyes was like submitting herself to an entirely new level of hell and as her eyes adjusted to the dim light she realized that she was in the Hospital Wing. She squinted and rolled onto her side with an affected groan before flinging her legs over the edge of the cot and pushing herself to her feet.

Her knees wobbled and she had to use the cot for balance as she pushed herself upward and looked down at herself. She wore a soft white robe and no shoes, the marble floor was cold beneath her bare feet as she straightened her posture and whimpered at the pain it tore through her back.

“Merlin’s sake girl! How are you up? What on earth!?” A wildly confused voice hit her ears and when she turned she expected to see a familiar face.

Problem was this face was not at all familiar and she gave a startled squeak as the woman in Medic robes hustled toward her.

“Wh-Who are you!?” She fell back onto the edge of the bed, eyes wide and wild as she stared up at the Medi-witch who’d bustled in her direction.

“Hermione dear, you’ve had a rather rough run-in with something terribly nasty. Please sit down dear. You don’t recognize me?” The witch had her greyed hair pulled up in a bun, tucked beneath a medi-witch’s hat and her soft blue eyes were searching Hermione’s face.

“No ma’am, I’m very sorry but I don’t know who you are.” Her voice cracked, her throat ached and the medi-witch seemed to realize she was in need of water. She summoned a glass filled with what was currently Hermione’s heart’s desire and she took it to drink it greedily. Her eyes closed with the rapture of the fluid flowing down her throat.

When the water was gone she handed the glass back and observed the tall witch who loomed over her.

“Do you know who you are?” She asked, Hermione was familiar with the diagnostic spell the witch was running on her as she spoke and she nodded thoughtfully.

“My name is Hermione Granger, I’m eighteen years old and am a sixth year here at Hogwarts.” She wet her lips and pushed herself further back into the bed. Her hand spasmed randomly and she gasped at the shocks of pain it sent ricocheting through her body.

“The shocks of the _Cruciatus_ are still in effect. How do you feel? Can you remember what happened to you?” The medi-witch questioned her and she furrowed her brow as she tried to think back to earlier in the night. She’d been going somewhere, hadn’t she?

“No ma’am, I’m sorry, everything seems a little fuzzy. The _Cruciatus_? I was cursed?” The witch nodded somberly and stepped back just a bit to give her a once over glance.

“I don’t know how you’ve awoken Miss Granger but it’s surely and truly a miracle. Excuse me while I summon the Headmaster and your Head of House.” She left and Hermione stared down at her hands in her lap.

They quaked strangely and she tried to still them by grasping one with the other. This only made them shake in time and drove her to a higher level of frustration.

Her mind was racing around, cataloguing what she knew about herself as she sat in the cool Hospital Wing. She was Hermione Granger, she was eighteen years old with the use of a time-turner, she was a muggle-born. Muggle-born? She tried to draw to mind the faces of her parents, surely she must have some- only, she came up blank.

Her brow furrowed as she tried to work out this first puzzle only to seemingly smack head first into a brick wall when she considered it. She _must_ have parents, so why then could she not see their faces in her mind’s eye? Why did they not seem to have names, or a profession? Who were they?

She took a deep soothing breath, in through her mouth and out through her nose.

“My name is Hermione Granger, I am eighteen years old. I attend Hogwarts School, I am in my sixth year and I am in Gryffindor House. My friends are…” She drew a blank once more and thought hard on it, as hard as she possibly could, her head began to ache. Why could she not draw to mind the face of a single friend, of a single relative? No, the only face she could draw to mind was that of the medi-witch she’d just encountered and her face had no name. Hermione pinched her eyes closed in concentration and tried again.

She wanted to remember someone, anyone.

Desperately she clung to the idea that there must be someone whose name she knew, someone who she could recall. Her mind felt empty, like something, so many somethings were missing and if she could just grasp them she would be able to pull them to the fore and they would be there again.

No one, her mind knew no one.

“Ms. Granger? Merlin, if I hadn’t seen it I wouldn’t have believed it!” A stern, somehow motherly voice proclaimed and her eyes sprung open to find another older witch stood there in front of her. Her black hair had begun to grey and she wore a pair of spectacles on her drawn face. Her green eyes sparkled with tears as she stared down at Hermione who watched her with equal parts confusion and interest.

“I’m sorry ma’am, who are you?” The medi-witch inhaled a deep breath and gave a soft nod as she came around the witch dressed in rich green robes and approached Hermione’s right side.

“It’s just as I suspected Minerva. She doesn’t seem to remember any of us, Albus should be around any moment and we can discuss this further but it would appear Ms. Granger has suffered some form of memory loss.” Hermione turned to glance at the medi-witch and nodded.

“I’m sorry but I can’t seem to remember anyone. I know your face now but I can’t even recall my parents- if I have them, surely I do, don’t I?” She was beginning to feel a strange sort of panic welling up inside of her. Yes, she knew who she was, in a way.

In a way she had no clue, she couldn’t bring to mind a single person close to her.

Did that mean she didn’t have anyone close to her? A form of memory loss? Why would she have lost her memories? Her mind swirled with questions that it seemed would go unanswered forever.

“Hermione, dear, you’re working yourself into a panic. My name is Madame Pomfrey, this is your head of house, Minerva McGonagall.” Hermione furrowed her brow as she stared up at the tall, slender witch who was still looking down at her with affectionate green eyes. Her face spoke of a sternness that her eyes didn’t reflect and Hermione was comforted and unnerved by her presence all at the same time.

“Madame Pomfrey,” she looked to the medi-witch, “Professor McGonagall.” She nodded to the other witch who gave her a shaky smile. Hermione attempted to commit their names to memory along with their faces and pinched her eyes closed once more. She could feel the beginnings of a major headache coming on.

Two wizards entered next and Hermione briefly looked over the face of the first. He wore bright periwinkle robes and his white hair and beard were long enough to tuck into his belt. He was elderly, that much was apparent and his blue eyes twinkled with a sort of mirth that surprised her as she stared up at him. His nose was too long for his face and crooked, as if it had been broken a few times over the course of his life and she tipped her head at him. There was no name for his face and so she moved on.

The next wizard her eyes locked on to made her breath leave her lungs in a rush. She heard Professor McGonagall hiss something irritably to the white-haired wizard but she hardly cared what the witch was saying as she stared into the deepest set of onyx eyes she’d ever seen. They seemed to go on for days, pools of the darkest color she’d ever seen. His lank blue-black hair hung limply around his face and he sported a nasty sneer on too thin lips but there was something about his commanding presence and sweeping black robes- and oh, those eyes! - that stopped her from looking away from him.

She was entirely, and thoroughly entranced.

“What are you staring at, dozy bint? Have you lost your bloody mind Granger?” He hissed acerbically and Hermione reared back at the way he used his beautiful voice to assault her with his words. Her brow furrowed and she looked to Madame Pomfrey as if for help.

“Severus, you absolute git!” Professor McGonagall hissed and the white-haired wizard shook his head as the younger of the two seethed.

“Miss Granger, this is Professor Severus Snape, head of Slytherin House and Potion’s Master. The fine older gentleman is Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts.” Hermione looked from one to the other.

“What in Merlin’s name is wrong with you woman, she obviously knows who we bloody well are.” Snape hissed and Hermione tipped her head at him again. So much rage in one man, he intrigued her. Potion’s Master, Head of Slytherin?

“No Severus, she doesn’t. That is precisely the point, it appears Ms. Granger cannot remember a soul she’s ever come into contact with.” The dark wizard furrowed his brow at her, a skeptical look on his cynical face. Hermione shrugged her shoulders softly.

“Pleasure to meet you, Sirs.” Snape hissed and turned to the elder wizard, Dumbledore, beside him.

“This is just fantastic, now what will we do with the obnoxious little swot?” He growled and Dumbledore shook his head. She saw McGonagall’s eyes flash but the witch said nothing as she stared down her co-worker.

“I’m sorry sir, but I don’t quite understand your meaning. Do what with me? Clearly I will need to return to my lessons.”

He rounded on her. “No, you bloody well won’t! You can’t expect us to allow you to bollocks this all up now! Potter will be fit to be tied!”

“Who?” Hermione furrowed her brow and the wizard threw his hands into the air, a wild gesture for such an austere man.

“Bloody screwed, we’re all bloody screwed. Shoddy arse plans.”

“Calm down, Severus.” Dumbledore finally spoke. He took Hermione’s hand in one of his softer, aged hands and gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder with his other. “Never fear dear girl, we will find a way to restore your memories to you. Until then I have the perfect place for you, and just the right person to tutor you while you are regaining your lost memories.” His eyes twinkled. McGonagall sucked a breath and Snape stood still, his shoulders rigid.

“Do not even suggest it.” The black-haired wizard hissed under his breath but Dumbledore’s eyes only twinkled more fiercely.

“I think this will be the perfect exercise of not only your long-underused compassion, but your waning patience as well, Severus.” Hermione’s eyes turned to the man, his back was so tense she was certain his muscles would tear through his black robes and cloak at any moment and he would tear smashing from the castle. The image was almost humorous when she played the scene out in her mind.

“I despise you, old man.”

“Yes, yes, prepare for a guest dear boy. She’ll be far enough away from Gryffindor Tower that you will have no worries of your hard work being wasted. That is after all your primary concern, is it not?” A white eyebrow drew to the man’s hairline as the dark wizard turned to stare him down.

If a man could kill with his eyes alone Dumbledore would have been dead on the spot, Hermione decided.

“As you wish, Headmaster.” He snarled harshly, shot Hermione a seething glare, and swept from the Hospital Wing with his head up and his shoulders rigid.

“Are you sure about this, Albus, what if he harms the girl?” McGonagall spoke quietly and Hermione pretended not to listen lest they stop speaking freely around her.

She lay back on her cot and pretended to be drifting from exhaustion as they spoke around her.

“He would not you know as well as I. I’m afraid he may need this as much as she. You’ve seen it, haven’t you, the way he’s begun to fray around the edges. The man is falling apart.” Dumbledore spoke quietly and she saw Madame Pomfrey nod from the corner of her slitted eye.

She forced her breathing to even and before she realized what was happening she was actually slipping into a deep sleep.


	4. III - Non Grata

 

Hermione stared blankly at the floor in front of her, her legs swinging as she sat perched on the edge of her hospital cot. Madame Pomfrey had been helping her assess just which memories she’d lost and which she’d retained when a blonde teen came bashing into the hospital wing, loud, haughty, and bleeding from a cut above his eye.

He’d sneered at her and made a snide comment under his breath that she barely heard before the Matron patted her knee and left. The little curtain around her cot was slung shut and now she was listening to them speak as she stared at the floor.

She heard a few names ‘Potter’ and ‘Weasley’ as well as ‘bloody Longbottom’ before the medi-witch managed to calm him and ushered him from the wing.

“Get well soon, Granger.” He’d huffed sarcastically before leaving and Madame Pomfrey rejoined her.

“Who was that boy?” She questioned the Matron who was still shaking her head and muttering about the teen long after he was gone.

“His name is Draco Malfoy, difficult lad but he doesn’t know better. He’s only following by example.”

“Oh, when can I leave here?”

“I was hoping to monitor you for a few days more, I see you’re anxious to go but the tremors are concerning. They don’t seem to be abating.” She answered plainly and Hermione clenched her fingers into her palms. She could feel the jagged edges of her nails digging in to her delicate palm.

“I would really rather begin my studies once more. I understand your hesitation but Professor Snape is familiar with this specific Curse, is he not?” She painted an earnest look on her face, an attempt to appeal to the medi-witch’s good nature. Hermione honestly was more than aware it would be unpleasant living with the taciturn Professor that she’d only seen a handful of times since he’d been ‘burdened’ with her care.

Still she would prefer his stern and standoffish nature to the Matron’s overbearing caretaking. She wasn’t sure how she felt about being coddled before but she knew now she didn’t like it. Forgetting her interactions with other people had negatively impacted the way in which she understood herself and the motivations for the things she did. She could feel a sort of deep-seated need to gain the approval of those around her but it was almost entirely crushed under her drive to achieve for herself.

Without having the expectations of parents looming over her head, or a firm attachment to _anyone_ at all she felt incredibly free to simply exist as herself. It was this sort of introspective analysis that lead her to believe she would be better off in the care of a semi-emotionless dungeon dwelling Potions Master than the motherly Matron of Hogwarts Medical Wing.

Hermione felt the eyes of said Matron, considering her words, and knew she was reaching for the right thing. They didn’t want students of the school to see her and her presence in the Hospital Wing put her anonymity at risk. She was a danger to Dumbledore’s deception sitting on her little cot. In the dungeons, no one would know where she was and they would be able to carry on with the tale they had begun to spin about a program for those who planned to gain a Charms Mastery post Hogwarts. Because Hermione was the only student interested, and accomplished enough to earn such a prestigious offer. They were beyond certain her _friends_ , whose names she could not recall, would take the excuse and believe it without a doubt.

“I think I understand your reasoning Ms. Granger, without a need to explain. I’ll be done to your room at least once a day until I am pleased with your progress. Acceptable?” Hermione nodded and sat back with the palms of her hands pressed into the cot, supporting her.

“I rather think word of my presence here getting out would be counterproductive. Is that Draco boy friends with my,” her brow furrowed, “former friends?” Her head tilted, it didn’t feel quite right but at the same time she wasn’t able to call them her friends. As far as she was concerned for the moment she had no friends to speak of. She couldn’t rightly claim someone as something so intimate as a friend if she couldn’t remember their names or faces.

“No, I doubt you have anything to worry about there, dear. He’s quite the opposite of friendly with young Messrs. Potter and Weasley.” Hermione attempted to commit those last names to memory and fought with herself for a long moment for even a glimpse of a memory of the two.

She thought he strain must have aggravated her condition because her entire body began to spasm and she fell back onto the cot. Her eyes were locked wide open and her mouth opened as if she wanted to scream at the pain, instead she could let out a low squealing breath. She sounded like a dying mouse, it was a desperate sound. Madame Pomfrey tried to comfort her with spells but they seemed to be ineffective as she heaved and her limbs intermittently locked and thrashed.

When it passed she was left prone on the cot, her legs bent at the knees and hanging from the edge. Her breaths were heaving and desperate and her arms still tremble and shook with soft tremors for another minute or so before the entire ordeal passed. She closed her eyes and pinched her lips together.

“I would like to have a room of my own now.” Madame Pomfrey could only nod. Hermione could have hugged her for understanding. When forced into a state of agonizing pain and weakness it was unbearable to have someone observe unless they were able to assist. Assistance seemed to be outside of Hermione’s grasp and so, she would rather suffer silently, and alone, in her own room.

♡

“I would like to once more reiterate that you are not welcome here. Your presence has been thrust upon me and I have little to no desire to interact with an insufferable know-it-all on a daily basis.” Snape stood with his arms crossed behind his back, which was rod straight. He was staring down at her with a look that led Hermione to believe he thought he was better than her and based on his little speech that was exactly what the git thought.

She cocked a well sculpted brown eyebrow and wet her lips in thought.

“I’m not certain what you expect, Sir, but I can assure you I will stay out of your way as much as possible.” She wanted to placate him and she hoped this was the method. Based on the dark look in his eyes it would gain the exact opposite of the reaction she desired.

“There is no amount of ‘staying out of my way’ you could possibly do to make me abhor your presence any less. You are a pest that I have been saddled with against my will as well as a leech on my nerves. You have been dancing on my ability to maintain self-control beginning the day you walked into this blasted school and you will continue to be a drain on the existence of every truly intelligent witch and wizard until the day you have ceased to be.” Hermione sucked a sharp breath.

Well, he certainly had no qualms speaking his mind. Did he?

“I’m not certain what kind of response you desire for your words, Professor. Cruel words and hateful sneers are, quite frankly, the least of my worries and perhaps you should save your breath for more useful tirades than those against me.” She glanced to the door he’d shown her upon her arrival that hid her own chambers. “Frankly, I highly doubt I will require your tutelage and will aspire to do just fine on my own. The less I see of you, and that rather surly attitude of yours I am subjected to the happier I will be.”

Hermione turned and pulled down the handle to allow her entrance to her room daintily. His sneer hardly having an impact on her as she turned to look at him once more over her shoulder.

“I bid you good evening Sir. I highly doubt they can be achieved by one so nasty as yourself but I wish you sweet dreams.” She walked into her room and shut the door with a soft, and very final click, behind her.

“Bloody know-it-all. Bloody Albus.” She heard him hiss before the firm, heavy steps of his boots on the stone floors alerted her that she was entirely alone.

 _Alone._ Hermione bit back a sob at the thought.

She well and truly was alone, alone in her head, and alone in her life. She dug her teeth into her lip hard enough to bring blood.  
Well, if she was going to be alone she would just have to make the best of it.

Shoulders squared she marched to the little desk provided her and began her perusal of her school books. No sense in sacrificing her studies just because she hadn’t a friend in the world.


	5. IV - Dolor

 

_*Dolor - Pain*_

Hermione writhed atop her Gryffindor red duvet. Her eyes had rolled back in her head long ago and she could feel her nails digging in to the forearms of their opposite sides between the intense bouts of excruciating, muscle locking pain. Her toes had curled under and her feet had bent back on themselves while her legs bent at awkward angles against the intense agony.

If asked she would compare it to an all over _Charley Horse_ , one that impacted her entire body. Her jaw was locking against the stretched pose it had been forced into for more than five minutes and when finally her body was released from the grip she fell to the floor with a ‘thud’. She was breathing heavily and her entire body ached. She felt weak and sweat dotted every inch of her skin and made her jeans and top cling to her uncomfortably.

Now the pain had passed the dungeons felt considerably colder and she shivered at the chill as it creeped into her bones. It was only day two of her time spent occupying her dungeon room and she was beginning to rethink her decision to leave the hospital wing. She’d had four attacks _that_ day, which was still young, and five the day before. She groaned as she brushed the hair back from her face. It was matted into a giant knot on the back of her head that tugged at her tender scalp and she furrowed her brow.

It was a quick decision made when she grasped her wand in a shaking hand and sat up. The first pieces of long brown curls fluttered to the floor until she sat, legs curled beneath her, in a pile of snakelike brown curls. Her eyes roamed the displaced mane and she smiled to herself, no more painful knot on the back of her head.

She wondered briefly what her motivation had been for keeping the hair long in the first place. Honestly it was only a bushy mess that was constantly in her way. She realized it must have had its significance attached to a person whom she could not remember and therefore did not care for the opinion of.

Her fingers clenched a thick mass of the curls and she closed her eyes for a long moment before bringing that hand up- freed of the curls- and ran it along the top of her head. She’d given herself what she hoped would be a decent enough pixie cut, though she admittedly probably should have used a mirror she knew she could touch it up when she finally managed to pry herself from the floor. For the moment she was just happy to be free of the tight knot that had tugged at her scalp and made her head ache.

Her fingers curled in on herself and she thought perhaps it was another episode but it passed and she exhaled a breath of relief. The flick of her wand and a muttered incantation sent the hair spiraling into the wastebasket beside her desk and she lay her head against the soft mattress of her bed. She wondered if her proximity to people changed the effects of the curse on her body.

She thought that may be the reason she’d had so many episodes after leaving the doting company of Madame Pomfrey but she couldn’t bear the idea of returning to the hospital wing. She couldn’t stand the idea of requiring the closeness of another person either. It made her feel sick just thinking about needing someone to provide her comfort.

Her breathing leveled and the pain in her limbs receded enough to allow her to stand and move to the mirror that hung on the otherwise bare wall of her dungeon chambers. She stared at her reflection and wasn’t displeased by what she’d found. She’d done a decent job for someone who hadn’t looked whilst cutting and using her wand she cleaned up the edges until her caramel toned hair was thick and styled against her scalp. Not only did the look suit her slender face and high cheekbones she found that exposing her face as such made her look older somehow. Less like a child and more like the woman she had grown into a bit earlier than anticipated.

She could see the little diamond studs of earrings that were settled in each of her ears and wondered at where they must have come from for a moment. She caressed them gently with her finger only pausing in her inspection when a soft knock sounded at her door.

“I’m here for your check up, Ms. Granger.” Madame Pomfrey called through the door and Hermione moved slowly across the room to open the door. Her energy was completely depleted from her many episodes and she wondered if she would be able to walk by the time the day was done. The medi-witch bustled in, talking all the way until she turned to look at Hermione and froze in place.

“Oh, Ms. Granger, what have you done to your hair?” She asked softly, staring at Hermione in a way that discomforted her.

“I,” she ran a hand through the considerably shorter locks and took a deep breath. She could imagine how she looked to the Medi-witch now that the blooms of bright yellow on her face from the bruises, and the soft silvery scars from the cuts that had been healed were on full display. She was thin, though she was certain that was from stress before her incident. She worried her bottom lip. “Does it look terrible?” She found herself feeling an odd sense of insecurity coming over her before the medi-witch smiled softly.

“No, no dear, in fact I think it suits you rather nicely.” Hermione felt her shoulders relaxed and she moved to the bed slowly to sit down. The Matron produced her wand and so began the onslaught of diagnostic tests.

♡

Severus stared at the witch when she exited her room inside his chambers to collect a book from his well-stocked library. So far, she had made good on her promise and stayed as far away from him as possible. She had taken any meals she’d eaten in her room and only come out for a book twice, once while he was in an entirely different room.

She’d not even begun asking him her usual litany of questions.

Now however he found he was the curious one when she saw her emerge. Her slender neck was beautifully displayed by the lack of hair that hung down her body and he could see clearly her face- and the wounds on it that had been inflicted just so many days ago. She looked older, and there was something graceful about her as she moved past him in the room without casting him a second look.

He couldn’t stop himself. “What have you done to your hair, Ms. Granger?” He asked, keeping the interest from his voice and his tone flat. Still he was curious what had possessed the witch to cut away the bushy curls that she’d seemed so proud of just a week before.

“Oh,” she ran a hand along the hair, her fingers catching in the short locks. He wondered momentarily if it was as soft as it appeared and shook himself of such thoughts. Merlin, he really was coming unhinged. “I think it suits, I was rather tired of dealing with the mess of it.” She answered simply, turned and left the room.

She treated him with such blatant disregard that it took everything in him not to follow her and demand she show him something else. Disdain, respect, something, anything! He could only remember one woman who had treated him with such a level of disregard that it had affected him so.

Lily. She had treated him as if she felt neither one way, nor the other about him. She didn’t hate him, she didn’t care for him. She didn’t care about him at all.

Now Ms. Granger was breezing through his chambers and acting as though his glares meant nothing to her. She was unaffected by his sneers and uninterested in his snide comments.

She was treating him as if he were just another face in a crowd. Why did it bother him so?

He glared at the door to her room, tucked in a corner in the far side of the large sitting room that held his library. Merlin, damn Albus for putting him in such a situation.


	6. V - Insidias

 

_*Insidias - Plot*_

The burning came at a not-unusual time the fifth night of Ms. Granger’s stay in his rooms. To say he was annoyed by her blasé attitude towards him would be an understatement. At the same time however, he was fascinated by her ability to ignore his snide comments and acerbic nature with grace and serenity. If she remembered all of the cruel things he’d said to her, all of the things done to beat her down over the years he was almost certain this would not be the case.

Though, when he considered it she’d looked hurt on a few occasions but he’d also overheard her on more than one defending him to her dunderheads. He pressed the palm of his hand against the mark, an answer to his Lord’s call and moved swiftly to leave the dungeons.

Hermione’s head poked out of her doorway the second he was gone from his chambers and she breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, she could peruse his library in peace, without his constant negativity dragging her down. She had been filled in on his status as double agent before she’d been sent to his rooms and she imagined it was for the best. Otherwise her curiosity may have gotten the better of her where his extracurricular activities were concerned.

With a sigh of relief at finally being free of her dreary dungeon bedroom she slipped into the small sitting room _he_ typically occupied and proceeded to check the title of every book in the room. Settling on a book, _Madame Maltein’s Memory Manual_ , by Madame Mary Maltien. Well, it certainly seemed like a start.

Not wishing to displease the prickly wizard she shared a living space with Hermione chose not to sit in one of his chairs and instead sprawled herself comfortably in the floor on her stomach. She pulled open the heavy book and immediately began to pour over the words, hoping to find something, anything that would help her in her current predicament.

She had made it near the fourth chapter, _Memories Change_ , when the door that allowed entrance into Snape’s sitting room flung open and a blur of pale skin, blonde hair, and black and green robes stormed into the room.

“Severus I…” The boy trailed when his eyes locked on her laying in the floor. Grey eyes narrowed and she cocked an eyebrow at him. “Granger? What are you doing here?!” She shrugged and flipped her book closed.

“Um, well…What do you think I’m doing here?” She sat up and crossed her legs beneath her. She kept her gaze fixated on the boy’s baffled face as he stared down at her from the doorway. “Would you close the door, Snape is rather testy about his living area.” She sniffed and he tugged the door closed behind him dumbly. She watched as it faded into the wall before clearing her throat.

“What did you do to your hair?” He still looked shocked and she realized that her hair was shorter than his. She almost laughed at that as she pulled herself from the floor.

“I needed a change,” reaching into the depths of her mind for his name she furrowed her brow and pursed her lips, “Malfoy.” A nod of approval at her memory. The teen still stared at her incredulously.  
“Tea? You seem a bit stressed.” A well arched eyebrow raised as she spoke and he shook his head with a look of bafflement on his face.

“The world has gone mad, that has to be the only explanation.” He glanced to the door and made a move to leave.

Hermione’s wand was on him faster than he could blink and she shook her head at him. “I wouldn’t recommend that, Malfoy. You’ll just have to stay until Snape returns and decides what to do with you.”

“Who are you and what have you done with the real Granger?” He narrowed grey eyes on her and she shrugged. She waved her wand toward the little arched doorway that led to Snape’s small personal kitchenette and stared at the blonde.

“I haven’t the faintest what you are talking about. Now, join me for tea and we can speak with Snape when he returns.” He swallowed and she wondered momentarily if he’d been on the other end of her wand in the past. Well, at least he was sufficiently nervous around her.

When he settled at the small square table in the attached breakfast nook she nodded and put her wand away. Moving to the kettle she filled it with water and set it to boil before turning to give the blonde a long look.

“See something you like?” He waggled his eyebrows. Hermione wrinkled her nose in response and shook her head.

“I’m afraid I don’t favor blondes.”

“That’s right, you have a thing for redheads don’t you Granger?” He sneered, his ferret like face twisted in irritation. She wondered for a moment who he disliked more, her or the redhead he spoke of. Either way it was of no consequence to her.

“I haven’t the faintest what you are talking about, Malfoy.” The kettle called her attention and she turned to finish the tea. She plopped the tray down on the table in front of him and settled herself across from the blonde boy without another word.

“Where is he?” He asked after preparing and then sipping his tea slowly. Hermione shrugged and gave him a sharp look. “Has he gone on business.” She thought over his emphasis on the word ‘business’ before nodding discretely.

“I imagine that is exactly where he’s gone.” Were the last words they spoke before they sat in uncomfortable silence waiting for the surly wizard to return.

♡

“Tell me, Sseveruss, how iss the girl?” Severus knelt on the floor before his lord, who was certainly more snake than man at this point.

“She lives, my Lord, she seems to have made a miraculous recovery, though she has no memory of any person she has ever met.” He answered honestly, per Dumbledore’s instructions and a lipless smile stretched the serpentine man’s face. Severus forced back his shiver at the pure malicious glee in the wizard’s face.

“Good, good...” He caressed Bella’s face as he passed her and Severus pretended to watch the floor, ever the obedient servant.

The mad, wild haired witch cooed at the touch and smiled a wicked smile of her own.

“My Lord,” she crowed affectionately, “I would never fail you. Her memory will never return, her body will never be the same…” She cackled and Severus felt his shoulders tense minutely. Blessedly minutely enough that it went unnoticed.

“Yess, you are my mosst loyal sservant Bella.” He stroked her cheek once more before turning back to Severus who was watching them surreptitiously. What had the mad bitch meant, her body will never be the same? What exactly had been changed? As far as Severus had seen nothing was different. She did not cry out for aid, she walked and spoke as if nothing had ever happened.

“Where will she go now that she had no memory of her friends, Severus?” His face came up to meet Lucius’ eye and he shook his head imperceptibly, aimed toward the blonde man.

“Yess, Sseveruss,” _damn,_ “will sshe be ssent away?” There was laughter in the voice and Severus bowed his head further, black hair creating a protective barrier around his face.

“Unfortunately, my lord I have been sentenced with her care. Dumbledore is not inclined to send her away when she still has her wits and realizes she will not be safe outside the castle.” He put on his best tone of disdain and a cold hand settled on the back of his head, the long, clammy fingers touched the bare skin of the back of his neck and he felt sick crawl up his throat.

“Ah! Thiss iss opportune! You will poisson her againsst her former friendss. Thiss will sserve uss well.” He hissed and Severus almost heaved a sigh. Of course, and he would want results as well, he was certain.

“Of course, my Lord.” He wasn’t fool enough to argue with the wizard, he would talk it over with Albus when he returned to Hogwarts.

“Good, return to your ward, Sseveruss, I will call upon you again ssoon.” Severus thanked the snake-like wizard and promptly disapparated, his skin crawled.

♡

Upon entering his chambers Severus was surprised not an empty sitting room, and not one body, but two, sprawled in the space.

Draco, his godson lay across a transfigured chair looking the picture of comfort. His ever growing blonde hair hung over the arm of the lengthened chair. Hermione Granger lay in his floor, her body curled in on itself as if seeking warmth from her own chilled body.

“Merlin.” He huffed quietly, at least the two hadn’t killed one another, and conjured a blanket first for Ms. Granger and then a second for Draco. He covered them quickly and silently slunk from the room, uninterested in the conversation he had no doubt he would be forced in to if they woke.

He would discuss it with them over breakfast before he left to teach his classes. Would he be forced to obliviate Draco?

He supposed that would be purely up to the boy and how he reacted to the information he would convey. If he acted as if he would expose Granger, which Severus highly doubted, he would do what he must and remove the memory entirely. Perhaps he would be a comrade for them.

He already knew he had no interest in following in his father’s footsteps and taking the Dark Mark, in fact, he knew a lot more about the boy than his own father likely did. The son he’d never been granted. He glanced back from his bedroom doorway and looked over the two of them.

No, he wouldn’t remove the memory from Draco unless he absolutely had to.


	7. VI - Explicandum

 

♡ _Explicandum - Explanation_ ♡

Severus wasn’t surprised when he woke to find his godson already awake and unrumpled for his day of classes. The conjured cover was folded neatly on the restored wingback chair and he was sitting at the small table in Severus’ breakfast nook.

Upon further inspection, he found Ms. Granger was gone and as he moved to prepare his first cup of coffee for the day Draco spoke up. “She’s in the shower. Mind explaining why she is here and not in a special advanced program?” The blonde, ever like himself went straight to the point.

Severus grunted in response and didn’t bother to so much as glance as the boy.

“I’ll not answer your questions until I’ve had my coffee.” He took a sip of the steaming black drink and continued facing the countertop. Draco huffed but said nothing in return to his sleep graveled voice and leant back in his chair. He could hear the rustle of a paper as he drank his coffee in relative peace.

Ms. Granger entered the room fifteen minutes after he’d finished his coffee looking fresh and ready for the day as well. She wore a pale blue jumper and muggle blue jeans that hugged her hips and thighs, he was tempted to force her to leave and change until he noticed Draco was entirely uninterested in the girl.

Good, an attraction between the two of them would be more than he could handle. Lucius would attempt his murder if he allowed anything untoward to happen between the two.

“I suppose we should be getting on with this explanation now.” Granger took a seat at the table, leaving him no choice but to sit beside her and he cleared his throat. His elbows rested on the table and his fingers steepled just below his mouth so as not to muffle his speech.

“I’m here because I was Cursed.” Granger caught Draco’s gaze and Severus stared between the two of them, he’d thought he would be forced to speak more but he was more than happy to leave this part of the telling to Granger.

“Okay, that doesn’t explain your presence here…” The blonde cocked an imperious eyebrow, the now short haired brunette only smiled softly and leant back in her seat. Her arms came up to cross her chest as she glanced between them both for a long second.

“I don’t remember anyone. I know who you are because of Madame Pomfrey, I cannot remember any relationships past or present. The only people I am familiar with are those who I’ve met since waking from my _fantastic_ experience in the forbidden forest.” She wet her lips and Severus nodded when his godson looked to him, confirming her words.

The witch tensed beside him and he shot a sharp look to her before she relaxed again.

“If you’ll excuse me, I’ll leave the rest to you two.” She was gone before either could object, her bedroom door slammed shut behind her.

“What in Salazar’s name was that about?” Severus only shrugged and continued to stare evenly at Draco.

“I trust you’ll keep this information to yourself. If you say a word to Potter, or Weasley, you will only be serving the Dark Lord’s purpose in having your mad aunt do this.” Draco furrowed his brow and pursed his lips.

“She really doesn’t remember anyone? How will you keep her here, surely she’ll become restless eventually.” Severus smirked and traced his lips with his pointer finger.

“I believe I have decided that is where you will come in.”

Draco’s eyes went wide, “No, no, you’re not going to ask me to befriend that…that mudblood.”

“You know that word is unacceptable in my chambers, Draco.” Severus’ face turned stern and the blonde paled considerably.

“I’m sorry, godfather. I won’t say it again. Surely she won’t want to be my friend, and I cannot get cozy with someone like _her._ ” Severus sneered at the boy for a long moment.

“It isn’t as if I wish you to woo her, Draco, I simply require someone to keep her entertained so that she doesn’t become restless and begin to roam. It would only take one person seeing her to ruin all of our hard work.” Draco nodded and turned to look at the door.

“She’s certainly become quiet, do you think we should check on her?” Severus waved a dismissive hand as he stood.

“I highly doubt she is in need of our assistance. You have classes to attend and I have classes to teach. She will simply have to fend for herself for the day.” He swept toward the sitting room and the door appeared before he even reached it. “Come back this evening, you will share your homework with her so that she has a chance to keep up with your year. I have no doubt she may be able to help raise your grades considerably.”

“My grades are perfectly acceptable.” Draco grumbled as he passed Severus and pulled the door to his chambers open. Severus cocked a black eyebrow at the boy but said nothing as they each went their separate ways until that evening.

♡

Hermione lay on the floor beside her bed, gasping for breath.

She’d barely managed to escape the room before the fit fell over her and she was grateful for the fact. She didn’t want them, especially not _him_ to know how she suffered. Her body ached as she used the duvet to help haul herself into the bed and lay atop the soft expanse panting.

She’d barely managed to disappear for a _shower_ , when Malfoy had woken and her hands were experiencing the intense tremors that would soon shake her entire body. She could only flee and hope she had time to bathe afterward to make her ruse believable. If they discovered her, at best they would send her back to the hospital wing- at worst she would end up in St. Mungo’s.

She couldn’t let it happen. She knew, deep in the pit of her stomach that was the worst place she could possibly end up.

Her panting breaths slowed until her breathing was normal once more and she sighed to herself. She felt like something was missing. Something incredibly important but she just couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

A knock on the Professor’s chamber door drew her from her room and on shaky legs to the sitting room.

“It is Headmaster Dumbledore dear girl, please let me in.” She opened the door and dropped his wards the way he’d shown her before raising them again when the Headmaster stepped in. He held an enraged looking orange cat in his arms who upon sighting her immediately began to struggle for her.

“Oh! Who are you then?” She questioned holding out her arms for the cat who immediately curled against her and left his bright orange fur clinging to her jumper. She smiled at his purrs and caressed his head and back affectionately.

“This is Crookshanks. He is your familiar, I see the memory work has made no process.” Hermione shrugged and settled herself on the floor while Dumbledore took one of Snape’s chairs. She stroked a hand down the cat’s back as she observed the elderly wizard.

“I’m afraid I haven’t managed to complete much research. I’m nearly through the first of many Memory and Mental Magic tomes in Professor Snape’s library. It would be beneficial if you, or Professor McGonagall could acquire some tomes from the Hogwarts library as well for me.” She was soothed by the cat’s purrs and smiled to herself. She couldn’t remember him but he certainly responded to her as if he were her familiar.

She wanted to hug the elderly wizard for bringing him to her.

“We’ll have them sent to you then dear.” He pulled a candy from his robe pocket and dusted the lint from it. “Would you like a lemon drop dear?”

Hermione fought the urge to cock an eyebrow at him and shook her head no, softly.

“Well then, I must be off, much work on a Headmaster’s plate after all. I’ll see about those books,” he stood with a soft groan that was meant to display his age. Hermione however could see the power radiating from him even as he swept from the room with his back hunched.

She wondered who he thought his feeble act was fooling?

Blue eyes sparkling he cast her a smile from the rapidly appearing door.

“Your hair looks rather nice, by the way Ms. Granger. I believe you look very mature with the new style.” She thanked him and he swept from the room. Leaving her to become reacquainted with her familiar.

“Crookshanks, huh? Certainly an odd name I chose for you.” She smiled and stood with the cat in her arms. “Let’s make you at home, shall we?”


	8. VII - Tempestivus

 

_♡_ _Tempestivus - Blooming_ _♡_

“What is _that_ doing in my chambers?” Snape was staring down at the ball of orange fluff curled in Hermione’s lap as she read. She’d lost track of time- had planned to be gone before he returned. She closed her book and swept the cat into her arms, a faint smile on her lips as she stood to her full height, still only eye level with the space just beneath his shoulders.

She clutched the cat to her like a child would a stuffed animal and Severus was struck by her vulnerable appearance for a long second.

“ _His_ name is Crookshanks. Dumbledore brought him to me this morning and informed me that he is my familiar.”

“I’ll not tolerate that beast living in my personal quarters.” He sneered.

Hermione squared her shoulders and pressed her chin out defiantly, “You are not the only person living her now, _Sir_. Crooks will do his best to stay out of your way just as I do, won’t you?” She looked to the cat who gave a long mewl and narrowed his bright yellow eyes at the dark wizard in front of him.

“No, I absolutely will not be subject to this sort of invasion.” He hissed out, Hermione placed the cat delicately to the floor and he dashed through her doorway and into her bedroom. She crossed her arms across her chest and looked to be attempting to draw herself up to an even further height.

“I wonder, does being an absolute prat make you feel better about yourself? Because honestly I can’t see the appeal in being cruel to every single person one comes across.” She turned on her heel and marched away from him. He could only watch her go, the hair cut so close to her scalp revealing the red flush working its way down the back of her slender neck.

Severus heaved a deep breath and all but stomped to his liquor cabinet. If he was to be forced to tolerate the girl he was going to need a stiff drink.

♡

Hermione sat, her legs crossed beneath one another and a book open in her lap atop her bed. Draco Malfoy sat at her desk, his own pale, angular face buried in a book as the two studied Draco’s most recent Charms homework.

Hermione looked up to find the boy sporting a confused look and cocked an eyebrow. “Trouble, ferret?”

Draco wrinkled his nose at the nickname. How could she have even come up with it not knowing his history with her former friends?

“I am having trouble with this particular incantation. It seems the emphasis in our assigned reading is incorrect.”

“Give us a look then.” She held out a hand to him and he turned in his chair to pass the heavy tome into her frail looking hand. She cracked it open to the marked page and her eyes skimmed the words quickly and effortlessly. Soon she produced her wand and with a series of swishes called the incantation.

Nothing happened.

“Peculiar. You may need to give me a day or two on this one.” She glanced up at him. Her body shook with a tremor and she barely managed to curse under her breath before she fell back in a writhing heap of anguish.

Draco stared, slack jawed as the brassy brunette witch fell back onto her bed, her limbs writhing and flailing as he stared at her. “Granger?”

Her mouth was open in a silent cry of pain and her eyes were locked on the ceiling above her. He felt the panic begin in the pit of his stomach.

“Granger? This isn’t funny, what are you doing?” He was afraid to approach her while being equally afraid to approach and so he just sat staring until her limbs ceased to flail and she lay limp on her bed.

Her breathing was heavy and rapid and he stood, planning to alert Severus to her condition.

Hermione forced herself into a seated position through the pain and caught him with a crackling voice, “Malfoy…”

“What was that?” He was as white as nearly headless Nick. His own chest heaved in his shock at what had just come to pass and he hooked slender fingers in his hair as he stared down at her.

“Nothing! You can’t tell Snape! Promise!” She all but shouted as she pried her aching limbs up from the bed and came to stand in front of him. He was tall, and slender like most men in his family with a burgeoning bulk but she had the bearing of someone who seemed so much larger than he. Despite her stature.

“What do you mean? He needs to know? Does that happen often? What in Merlin’s name is wrong with you?” The questions flowed quickly and freely and Hermione shook her head, her amber eyes pleading and locked on his pale grey.

“It happens all of the time, if you tell him they’ll send me to St. Mungo’s, I can’t go there, I don’t know anyone, I’ll be entirely alone.” Her hard exterior cracked for a moment and Draco was almost certain he could see a frightened little girl lingering in the background.

Her hands trembled and her knees shook as she stood before him, her eyes pleading with him.

“Okay, okay.” He ran a hand through his hair again as he stared down at the peculiar witch. “I don’t think he’ll send you to St. Mungo’s though and you have to tell someone.”

“Well, you know now, don’t you?” She tried to force a coy grin but it came out a grimace.

“And what if next time you fall and hit your head against something? What if you severely injure yourself?” He argued, arms crossed across his chest and Hermione wet her lips as she observed him.

“He can’t know, Draco.” She could tell by the look on his face he didn’t agree with her decision. She could also see a sort of resignation in his eyes. It was after all her body, and her duty to tell Snape that something was wrong with her if she saw fit.

Crookshanks curled around Draco’s legs and he sneered at the cat with no real malice.

“Look out for her then, will you?” The oversized cat meowed deeply and twisted around the boy’s legs again before leaving to jump up on the bed.

“You know, they told me that we were enemies.” She was observing his face and he fixed her in a sharp gaze.

“You aren’t the same person you were before. I don’t know how to explain it but you seem - - different somehow.” Draco admitted and crouched to pick up his discarded Charms text. “I’ll leave this with you until my next lesson, yeah?” He asked and Hermione nodded.

“I’ll have it sorted by then.”

“Granger?” He asked just after he turned to exit her room and she watched the back of his head, waiting for what he had to say. “The Dark Lord is going to want you for his own. Don’t,” he paused here and swallowed, “don’t join him, he’ll kill you in the end.”

“Thanks for the advice Draco, but I honestly have no intention of doing any more than completing school and the research I had started for Potter and Weasley. I won’t be performing more than a research role in this war from here on out.”

“How do you know?”

“Both Madame Pomfrey and Snape have forbidden it, despite Dumbledore’s protest.” She answered plainly and moved to sit back atop her bed. Her limbs were slowly ceasing their shaking and she was beginning to feel normal again.

“If you need any help…Well, I’m more than willing. I have no use for choosing sides, most of my friends don’t either.” Hermione nodded.

“I’ll certainly keep you in mind. Now go before your head of house takes points.” She gave him a sly wink he answered with a smirk before exiting his room.

“Sweet dreams, Granger.” He waved over his shoulder. Hermione rolled her eyes when the door shut behind him and turned her gaze to Crookshanks curled by her leg.

“Fat chance.” She snorted before turning back to the Charms book. She needed to sort the problem with that particular incantation if she was ever going to be a Master of Charms.


	9. VIII - Silentium

 

_♡_ _Silentium - Silence_ _♡_

“I believe Ms. Granger could certainly be an asset to our cause if she is believed to be on Tom’s side.” Albus spoke, his eyes gazing over the tops of his half-moon spectacles. Severus turned to stare the elder wizard down, a dark look on his typically emotionless face.

“You cannot possibly mean to use her in this as you use me.” It wasn’t a question, he knew that was precisely what the old man intended to do. Albus gave a soft nod, clearing his throat.

“She has no memory of anyone, therefore there is no information about Harry that she can provide. You could train her in Legilimency and Occlumency and she could become another insider.” He knew why the words would make sense to the old man. Still, they made absolutely no sense to him.

“You would throw her, a muggleborn female into the proverbial hornet’s nest?” Severus cocked an eyebrow as he sat in the desk across from his mentor and oldest friend. He favored the old man, always would no matter how many times he proclaimed to hate him but now he thought he may be going a tad mad. “And what does Minerva have to say about your desire to throw her cub to the snakes?”

Albus shook his head and gave a mirthless laugh.

“Minerva has no say in any of this as you well know. We will do what we can for the side of the light. You should train her Severus, Lily,” the old man was cut off by the ugly hiss that escaped the Potion Master’s lips.

“You’ll not speak of that. My debt to Lily is paid through her son, not his irritating friends.” Albus stared at him, at times Severus felt as though he was staring into his soul.

“You worry for her.” It wasn’t a question. Severus snorted and chose not to allow that particular comment a response. Albus stared at him with a new twinkle in his eyes, “well, this changes things. If you worry for her safety I couldn’t possibly expect you to take her in. I will of course speak with another of my spies about her training.”

“You’ll do no such thing!” Severus stood, his hands slammed down on the desk between them. He realized mere seconds too late his fatal mistake. He’d reacted, he’d played right into the old man’s hand, just as he always did.

“Good! So you will train her.” The old wizard grinned, Severus snarled, “I knew I could count on you my boy! I’ll expect a report of her progress in a month!”

Severus was dismissed. He knew it by the tone of the man’s voice and the way he turned back to his papers. He couldn’t help but smack his hand onto the desk one more time.

“You are playing with fire old man.” He growled, Albus only smiled at him merrily.

“Yes well, I’ve always had an affinity for things that flame.” He glanced to Fawkes with a gleam of mischief in his eyes. The bird gave a short trill and stared at Severus with its sharp golden eyes.

“Ah yes, but your flame burns the brightest.” He knew a jab at the man’s sexuality was low but he was feeling particularly irritable now. Without waiting for the responding laugh he turned and swept from the elder wizard’s office.

He would be forced to take Hermione Granger into enemy territory.  
He wasn’t entirely certain she would survive.

♡

“What can I do? Is there anything that makes it easier to withstand?” Draco asked. He sat across from Hermione with worried eyes on her face. She’d just experienced her second fit in front of him and apparently they thoroughly disturbed the blonde because he’d been unable to speak about anything else.

“Nothing can be done until we find out the Curse that caused the lingering effects. Now, put that mind to good use and help me finish reading through the tomes.” She cocked an eyebrow at the blonde who gave her a sour look.

“You really are the bossiest witch I’ve ever met. No wonder Weasel and Potty seem happier without you.” Her eyes narrowed and before he could say ‘charms’ she’d shot a rather nasty stinging hex at him. He yelped and rubbed the spot on his arm that she’d hit. “Vicious too.”

“Shut it Malfoy before I make your tongue swell and you can’t talk for a week.” His mouth slammed closed and she gave him a pleased smile before turning back to the book in her lap.

Hermione was determined to find the reason behind her episodes and a way to stop them. She knew she would find it, perhaps buried in some obscure dark tome, maybe it was right in front of their faces. Either way she couldn’t go on like this. It had been two weeks since she’d come to live in Snape’s quarters and if anything the episodes were becoming more painful, longer lasting, and more frequent. She couldn’t help but worry in the back of her mind that she would eventually simply be locked in a state of excruciating pain for the rest of her life.

“I still think you should speak with Severus.”

“I still think you should keep your mouth shut.”

“Merlin you have an attitude problem, Granger.” He snipped and her eyes shot up to lock onto his.

“Are you hungry, is that why you’re grumpy. I can’t handle a hungry pouf lying about in my rooms complaining all day you know.” Draco rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“I’ve told you, I’m not gay, I’m in a perfectly healthy relationship with Pansy, I simply enjoy Blaise’s companionship more on occasion.” Hermione snorted inelegantly earning a disturbed look from her new friend.

“I’d hardly call every evening on occasion.” He chucked the pillow his book had been propped atop at her head and she ducked expertly. “Besides, you’ve shown me pictures of this Pansy and she’s not much of a looker Draco, Blaise is prettier by far. Why don’t you just end things with her.”

His shoulders slumped as she stared over at her and she knew they were coming to another of his life-altering confessions. Well, life-altering for him, she didn’t quite a give a damn if she were being honest.

Sure, she cared about his feelings. She adored Draco, despite his blood-prejudices and tendency to run his aristocratic mouth. Still, he allowed himself to be kept in the situations he was in instead of fighting for his own freedom.

“Our marriage has been arranged since before we were born.” Hermione wrinkled her nose.

“What if you’d both been boys?” Draco furrowed his brow and shook his head.

“Mother would never agree with something like that. She believes that the only proper binding is between a wizard and witch.”

“Your mum needs to join us in the current century.” She rolled her eyes and Draco managed a small chuckle. “Honestly, she’s behind even the wizarding world on this. Tell me, if you could marry anyone, male or female, who would you choose.”

“You know we don’t marry.”

“Yeah, yeah, if you could bond to anyone then?” She gave him an expectant look and he furrowed his brow for a long moment. “I’ll tell you who I think you’d end up with. Potter.” His face paled and he gave her a look that could only be described as aghast.

“You take that back this instant, plebian.”

“I won’t and you can’t make me!” She laughed as she dodged to the side, narrowly missing his own well cast stinging hex. “Think about it! You talk about him non-stop,” she leapt from the bed this time to dodge him, laughing. “You think about him even more than you talk about him.” She gave a guffawing laugh when he missed again, his face simultaneously paling and turning a bright red.

“What are you two doing in here?” Her door slammed open and both of their faces shot to the doorway. Snape stood there, arms crossed looking incredibly displeased.

“I apologize Severus, your roommate was taking the piss.” He grumbled half-heartedly and Hermione tried to stifle her laugh behind her hand.

“I require silence whilst I am brewing, also, Ms. Granger, a word after Draco takes his leave.” Hermione tipped her head at him but gave a soft nod. If he was going to be civil so would she.

“Yes sir.”

“Good.” The door slammed shut behind him and a pillow collided with the side of Hermione’s head.

“Oh, just admit it! You’re in love with Potter.”

“I most certainly am not. Come back we have more studying to do.” He grumbled and Hermione gave him a coy smile. She ruffled his long hair as she passed him and he graced her with a beautiful scowl.

“Alright, alright, don’t get your knickers in a twist.”

“You are appallingly muggle.”

“Takes one to know one.” She taunted and he gave her his best Malfoy glare.

“I despise you.”

“Mmmhmm…”


	10. IX - Cruciatu

 

♡ _Cruciatu - Torture_ ♡

“Ms. Granger, I wonder, do you find it enjoyable to agitate me? To keep me waiting?” Snape bit out as soon as Hermione entered the room and she cocked an eyebrow at him but said nothing in response. Crookshanks trailed behind her, his head butting into the back of her ankle affectionately.

She’d just experienced a rather violent spell, they seemed to be getting worse the longer she suffered them. If she was being realistic she could say that she hadn’t answered because her voice was near gone from the pained screams the muscles spasms and seizing had ripped from her throat. Instead she would allow him to chalk it up to her usual insolence and move on with their day.

“I require a verbal acknowledgement, Ms. Granger,” He growled out, his honeyed voice taking on a much darker, agitated tone. Hermione shrugged her shoulders again and shook her head. “Unless you would prefer I reconsider this entire arrangement you _will speak_.” He was all but snarling now and Hermione heaved a soft breath.

“I’m not certain what it is you want from me sir,” Her voice rose and fell in pitch, cracking and breaking in several places. She winced at the pain it caused her throat.

His expression changed immediately from intense irritation to a sort of bland interest.

“Are you ill, Ms. Granger?” She swore she almost fainted when he reached out a hand and pressed the back of it to her forehead. Such a strange action from the Potions Master who would sooner cut off a limb than touch another person.

She ducked away nervously and shook her head, “It’s the cold and damp,” it was the best explanation she could come up with.

“I shall reinforce the charms on your room, in that case. In the meantime, I should retrieve a draught for the strain on your throat. Do not move,” Hermione desperately wanted to take him literally and freeze in place but he was being unusually agreeable and she really had no desire to make him act cruelly again. Instead she settled into the chair he typically favored the least in his sitting room and waited, tapping her toe until he returned.

“Drink,” a vial was thrust in front of her face and she quickly tipped her head back and swallowed. It tasted terrible, like black liquorice and heavy fresh mint leaves. She grimaced after the last of it had left her tongue and then exhaled a sigh at the soothing effect on her throat.

“Thank you, sir.”

“That is unnecessary. I assure you my benefit is greater than yours. We must speak about several topics that have come up since your discovery in the Forbidden Forest,” Hermione nodded and settled back in her seat as he took his preferred chair. One long leg crossed over the other and he steepled his fingers as he stared at her with empty onyx eyes.  
“First, it is necessary we speak of the expectations the Headmaster has decided he has for you, as well as those of the Dark Lord.”

Hermione cleared her throat and gave a hesitant nod. She knew only of this ‘Dark Lord’ what Draco had told her. He’d all but begged her not to become involved with the ‘madman’ and of course she’d agreed. The boy had after all become her fast, and only, friend. She wasn’t certain why they hadn’t gotten along in the past, perhaps because of his prejudices- but now he was a person incredibly dear to her.

“Professor Dumbledore would like for me to train you in Occlumency, as well as Legilimency. He desires to make you a second spy for the Order of the Phoenix, do you recall who that is?”

Hermione nodded softly, “The group who has been fighting against your Dark Lord since the first wizarding war. I’m not certain who makes up the group any longer but I know that they are the front line against the despot. I’m curious sir, you are a double agent for the Order, but how could I possibly serve any use on the other side as a muggle-born?”

“I am pleased that your loss of memory has not stunted your intellect, Ms. Granger. It is the fact that you were a very close friend of Harry Potter, the boy who lived, the one who it is prophesized will end this once in for all that makes you valuable to the Dark Lord. He wishes to make use of you against your former friend. If I am correct in my observations I am to believe he will offer you immunity from muggle-born laws and persecution should you take his mark,” the dark wizard finishes succinctly and Hermione took a deep breath.

“Dumbledore believes this is the way I will be most effective for the side of the light in this war?” Snape nodded but did not speak and she glanced down at her hands for a long moment.

She may have been invested in this war at one point, and she supposed she should still be but her role had changed dramatically. She didn’t really care about Harry Potter, she didn’t particularly care about much of it. The thought equally saddened her and left her unaffected.

“And you sir, do you think this is the best place for me?” He masked the surprise that flitted through his eyes quickly but still she knew what she saw.

“My opinion on the matter does not hold any sway.”

“Perhaps not to Dumbledore, or your Dark Lord, but, and pardon my frankness Sir, your opinion on the matter is second only to Draco’s for me,” she wasn’t looking at him. She could have gone the rest of her life without revealing to him the value of his opinion to her.

For a time only their steady breathing could be heard in the room before she heard the rustle of his clothing as he shifted. Her eyes drifted up to his face to find he was staring at her intently, the way he stared at the potions in his private lab the few times she’d managed to interrupt him.

“My opinion, Ms. Granger, is that you should be kept safe in the castle. I know however that your nature dictates you should make yourself of some use. In such a case that you decide to follow this track and join me in my spy work,” here he paused, eyes of deep obsidian boring into her. “I assure you that I will do everything in my power to prevent any more harm from befalling you.”

Hermione nodded thoughtfully and worried her bottom lip as countless thoughts flitted through her head.

“Draco has expressed his wish for me to stay as far from _him_ as possible.”

“Yes, you two seem to have developed quite the relationship,” his tone sounded almost bitter, almost, and Hermione’s eyes shot up to his face.

“We are friends,” Crookshanks leapt into her lap and she took a moment to stroke the length of his back.

“I am certain my Godson regards no female as simply, a friend,” he cocked an eyebrow at her and she furrowed her own.

“I think, Sir, that friend is the only way your Godson regards any woman,” she fought back her snort of laughter at the slight furrow of his brow. Surely that was as close to looking perplexed as the man ever came and she enjoyed the glimpse of expression on his face.

“You are hardly a woman, Ms. Granger.”

Hermione pursed her lips, “I’m hardly a child, Professor.”

“You are a sixteen year old girl, certainly you are still a child,” he bit back, Hermione tipped her head at him.

“Sir, I’m not certain who gave you that information but I am eighteen years old, I was nearly a year older than my peers _before_ my use of the time turner.”

His lips pressed into a thin line, “Time turner, Ms. Granger?”

“Oh yes, I was allowed use of the time turner to take more classes for two years of my education. I am nearly nineteen years old now, by my count.”

“Merlin,” he grunted and his gaze turned to the fire, eyes lost in the flames for a long moment.

She could feel the stirring of another episode and sighed to herself. It was slow torture, completely and utterly miserable to suffer the fits of her body so frequently- and so severely.

“If you’ll excuse me now Sir, I think I need to lie down,” she stood and his eyes found her face for a moment before he gave a barely noticeable nod.

“Of course, your training begins tomorrow, if you so choose to join the ranks of turncoat,” his gaze moved back to the fire and Hermione exhaled, her leg muscles were beginning to spasm.  
She needed to get to her room, now.

“I will have my answer in the morning,” she managed just before the door closed behind her and her body buckled to the floor. Crookshanks gave a cry of distress as she barely missed landing on him and she would have apologized. Honestly, she would have.

If her body hadn’t been in the throes of absolute and utter agony.

 


	11. X - Suffoco

 

♡ _Suffoco - Suffocate_ ♡

Hermione took a long drink, the firewhiskey burning an unpleasant line from her throat to her stomach. She was exhausted, exhausted and unable to sleep. It was a seemingly new side effect of the curse set upon her and one that was leaving her more and more irritable and weary by the day.

It had been three days since Snape had brought to her Dumbledore, and Voldemort’s idea that she should be a spy, one for the other. She had accepted the morning after with a sigh and a feeling of heaviness upon her. That night she’d not been able to sleep, not even with the aid of a sleeping draught pilfered from Snape’s cabinets.

She sniffed and took another large drink. This was a last resort, she had hopes of drinking herself into unconsciousness. So far she’d polished off an entire bottle of firewhiskey and had yet to succeed. She fell drunkenly into a chair, not caring if it was Snape’s usual favorite and let her chin rest on her chest. Her eyes closed and her breathing stabilized but still she found no rest. Only dizziness from the alcohol swept over her and left her feeling nauseated and unhappy.

“Damnit,” she cried quietly, silent tears streaming down her cheeks, her muscles began to spasm and she gave a gasp of discomfort. She realized her body was lurching to the floor without really feeling it. She didn’t feel herself bounce from the rug that covered the cold stone. She couldn’t really feel anything.

“Hermione?” A familiar voice, she had to stifle a cry of excitement when familiar hands swept her from the floor and deposited her back into the chair. Draco’s face swam in and out of her vision as she watched him blearily. “What’s happening? Are you having another fit? I’m getting Severus! This has gone on long enough.”

She couldn’t argue, could only watch as he moved away from her, leaving her slumped in the chair, and made his way to the door to Snape’s private room. Her feet began to curl and her neck arched back, her head falling between her shoulder blades as she gave a long cry of agony. She was gone to the pain once more, drowning in a never-ending nightmare of agony.

♡

“Severus!” The desperate voice on the other side of his door woke Severus from his sleep. He’d been dreaming, something lovely to do with Lily. He immediately growled at being snatched away from one of his few wonderful dreams and sat up in his bed.

The booming of rapid knocks met his ears and he cocked an eyebrow at the nearly vibrating door. Someone was desperate for him to open up, it seemed. “Godfather!” Draco cried and immediately his blood began to run cold.

Was something wrong? Had the Death Eaters moved up their efforts involving him? He desperately hoped the boy was in no danger as he stood and wrapped himself in his dressing gown quickly.

The door swung open and he found his godson, pale faced and panting staring at him. His wide grey eyes looked lost and pained and he wondered exactly what it could be that upset the typically stoic boy so.

“What is it child? Speak now!” He demanded, grasping the boy’s shoulders. Then he heard it, a scream, barely audible and so submerged in agony that it made his very heart stutter in his chest. His head snapped in the direction of his sitting room, Draco’s shoulders still clasped under his large hands.

“It’s Hermione, she didn’t want me to tell you. Salazar! I should have said something sooner,” he looked down to his feet and keen eyes locked back on him. Only the back of his blonde head was visible and he shook the boy delicately to regain his attention.

“What has happened to Ms. Granger?” He summoned his wand and turned to make his way down the short hall that lead to his sitting room. He could see the fire burning in the hearth and the bookshelves of the far wall but the area that held his chairs was not yet visible to him.

“She’s been like this since she started staying here. I think- I think it’s gotten worse,” the blonde wizard trailed when he was released. He followed Severus closely into the sitting room, deep, black eyes locked on the figure of the witch in his favorite chair.

Her body was contorted, all drawn up in on itself and her mouth was open in a cry of pure pain that he’d never thought he would see contorting the poor girl’s face. He immediately strode to her side, realizing that this was what Bellatrix had meant. This was the change to the girl that would never leave her.

“Retrieve Dumbledore,” he instructed clinically as he knelt before the girl. He wasn’t certain whether or not touching her would be wise and so he stared at her, locked in a place between reaching out and forcing himself not to. “And Madame Pomfrey,” he stared over the girl and turned to look at his shoulder when he heard no movement. “Now!”

This seemed to snap Draco to attention and he jumped a little before taking off to the door of Severus’ chambers. With the boy gone his posture could relax some and before he could stop himself once more he reached out to the whimpering girl.

Immediately her body went limp and fell forward into his arms, the spasms of her muscles seeming to stop entirely as she fell against his chest. Her weight shifted his equilibrium and he was pushed back onto his arse, his knees bent at an odd angle.

She grasped his dressing gown, panting for breath as tears soaked the silken fabric.

Unsure what to do he simply held her there for a long moment, not speaking.

She was the first to break the silence, her rasping voice reaching his ears and nearly drawing a wince to his face at the pain she must have been experiencing.

“Kill me,” she said. Severus felt his entire body go rigid.

As if by instinct alone his hand came up to stroke the back of her head, moving down to the silk of her exposed neck as he made small shushing sounds. “I’ll do no such thing, Ms. Granger, we will find a solution to this,” he assured, though he was unsure himself what could be done.

“Die, I want to die,” she rasped again and he shook his head, his loose black hair fell onto her face as he bent over her and began to rock slowly. Her eyes closed and soon her breathing fell even. Her body went lax in his arms and he knew she was asleep.

It was ten minutes before a groggy Albus and Poppy joined him and he gave them both a harsh look as he stood from the floor with the girl in his arms. Any attempt to relieve himself of her seemed to stir her to wake and he wasn’t certain his nerves could tolerate any more simpering and crying.

“It would seem Ms. Granger is not as well as she has lead us to believe,” three sets of eyes turned to Draco, who gulped and attempted to back away. “Draco, it would seem you hold the answers to the questions Ms. Granger will not be able to answer this eve.”

The blonde groaned, “I knew I shouldn’t have listened to the bloody chit.”

 


	12. XI - Somnus

 

“Severus, shall I put her into an induced coma?” Poppy questioned as the dark wizard sat with the slumbering witch curled in his lap. He had settled into his favorite chair and allowed several items of furniture to be transfigured for those who now occupied his chambers- in the middle of the bloody night.

“We cannot be certain of the effect it will have on her to do such a thing,” Albus spoke up and Poppy opened her mouth to object, Severus held up the hand that did not cradle the witch to his chest.

“Albus is correct in this instance Poppy, I will tolerate this trespass with the stipulation that we formulate a plan of action. The girl cannot carry on as she is now,” his persona was every bit the cold, calculating wizard he always portrayed to the world. No matter if he had a petite witch sleeping on him, it mattered not. They would see him as they always did.

All eyes turned to Draco who sat, sipping tea and looking increasingly uncomfortable.

“I believe it is time to tell us a story, Mr. Malfoy,” Albus was the first to speak this time and the boy gulped once more before settling his tea on the low table in the center of the room and taking a deep breath.

“She’s been having the fits since she came to stay in S- Professor Snape’s chambers. She asked that I not tell him and we have been doing research on our own in an attempt to discover the name of the curse that ails her. The fits have increased in frequency and severity slowly since her release from the hospital wing and, I believe it was three days ago that she began having difficulty sleeping. She hasn’t slept since she complained to me of an inability to fall asleep. So far she’s tried draughts and alcohol,” he looked apologetically to Severus who fixed him in a dark glare.

“We will speak of this later, Draco. For now if that is all the information you have to give you should find your way to your bed. I dare say the number of detentions you will serve will be quite exhausting,” the blonde scampered from the room as quickly as possible and Severus smirked at his retreating form before turning to Albus and Poppy.

Granger pressed her face closer to his chest and sighed in her sleep. It made his skin feel strangely odd on his body and he shifted to try to regain the comfort he seemingly lost.

“Tom will know what it is she was hit with, will he not?” Albus questioned, Poppy looked interested between the two of them. Severus took a breath but gave a short nod.

“Yes, it was Bellatrix specifically who cursed her and I’m certain she knows exactly what she used and the counter curse.” Severus answered flatly and turned his black gaze to Poppy. “I highly doubt you will be of any use this evening, go, rest. I will come to you tomorrow evening should I require your help in breaking this curse.”

The matron looked as though she wanted to argue but a yawn broke her typically stern lips and she gave a sharp nod.

“You’ll call upon me sooner should you need me,” it wasn’t a question, or a request, it was a demand and Severus gave her his own stiff nod of agreement before turning back to Albus.

“I trust you can see yourself out,” he didn’t look at her to see her response and listened for the door to close before he spoke again. “You realize of course that if I go seeking answers about her condition I could be found out.”

“Do not go too deep, we cannot risk the war for her health. We will only be able to hope that she recovers should Bellatrix die, or that she survives long enough for us to win,” Severus sneered, this was the answer he’d expected. Even having status as the best friend of the boy-who-refused-to-die was not enough to save the girl from a lifetime of suffering or a young death.

Albus stood, “you’ll be able to care for her for the moment?”

The black look on Severus’ face was ignored by the old man as he stared him down. “Will you truly be so callous as to allow this girl to suffer? Do you know what she asked of me when she was still conscious?”

The elder wizard gave him a curious look but said nothing, “She asked me to kill her, Albus, to kill her. Eighteen years old and begging to die. Is your light not good enough to see fit to help her?”

“I will do what I can for the girl Severus. You know as well as any that we must make sacrifices for this war,” the younger wizard’s glare didn’t falter as the elder moved toward the door. When he exited the dark wizard slumped back into his seat and stared down at the relaxed face of the witch curled against his arms.

He risked running his fingers through her growing hair, his curiosity about the texture finally being sated as he took the liberty. Her beast of a cat meowed from the other side of the room and watched him with flashing yellow eyes.

“What? It isn’t as if she is awake to know,” he grumbled at the beast before turning his attention back to the witch in his arms. Her familiar hadn’t attacked him so he really had no interest in the damned thing.

She’d been incredibly protective of the beast regardless and he frankly had no desire to raise her temper when she awoke in the event that it had an impact on her fits. The image of her mouth open in a near silent scream of pain flashed in his mind’s eye. His eyes pinched closed for a moment in hopes of dispelling the image but it seemed to be to no avail.

How could he not have noticed? How could she have hidden such serious spells from him, right under his oversized nose?

Merlin, his role in the war was causing him to slip.

♡

Hermione woke, warm and content, feeling the best she had in ages. When she moved to stretch she realized she was not in her bed and that there was something hard beneath her. Her eyes opened and snapped up above her to see the slack face of one Severus Snape.

She froze in place, her eyes wide as she stared up at his sleeping face, her own cheek pressed against his chest. His black hair created a curtain around them as she stared horrified, his head was leaning forward and he’d fallen asleep sitting up with her on top of him.

She reached deep into her brain, pulling and tugging at her memories in an attempt to remember the night before.

She’d had an episode, in the sitting room. Her breathing grew panicked when black eyes snapped open and she immediately felt tears fill her own eyes.

“Oh please! Please don’t send me to St. Mungo’s! I swear I won’t let the episodes be a problem for you again! Please let me stay!” She burst, pleading despite the rawness of her throat and the scratchiness in her voice. He watched her with blank eyes for a long moment and grasped her more tightly when she tried to scramble from her perch atop his lap.

“Salazar, calm down you insufferable Gryffindor!” He growled out, voice still heavy with sleep as he held her in tight fingers and rolled his neck, cracking it. She was still babbling and pleading, tears spilling down her face and she couldn’t catch her breath.

Crookshanks gave a concerned mewl from across the room but she couldn’t focus on anything but the firm fingers holding her against the warm chest of the increasingly agitated wizard.

“St. Mungo’s cannot help you girl! Now calm yourself before I use force to calm you myself,” her squirming ceased and she stared up at him with wide eyes, taking in at once his exhausted features. He’d held her? The entire night?

Had he done it so she could sleep? Had he been the key to her sleeping at all?

“Now, if you’re calm we can speak of this like rational adults and come to a decision on our course of action. Does this sound agreeable?” She nodded softly, staring up at him with tear tracks rapidly drying on her face. She was stunned.

“Good, now, stand and make your way to the kitchen. I require coffee before I so much as attempt this conversation,” he helped her carefully to her feet and stood after her. He stretched and she realized he was wearing a black dressing gown. She could see his muscular calves; the outline of his wiry form was incredibly visible with the clinging silk. “Kindly cease this gawping Madam, I will join you shortly.”

He strode away, she couldn’t help but stare at his back as he went, completely dumbfounded.

What in the name of Circe had happened the night before?


	13. XII - Custodio

 

♡ _Custodio - Protect, Shield…_  ♡

“If you are settled, Ms. Granger, we have much to speak about,” Snape pulled Hermione from her thoughts as he sat smoothly at the small table in his equally small breakfast nook. There were two large stacks of books across the table between them and she nodded mutely.

She didn’t particularly feel like speaking until she knew just exactly what was going on. She’d lived in this man’s chambers for three weeks and had spoken to him only a handful of times. Times that typically involved his attempts to assert his dominance and her resolution to shut him down and stay out of his way.

“First and foremost, I would like to inquire why you thought it necessary to keep such important information from me? Did you not see these fits of yours as a threat to not only your own life and health but to the safety of those around you when you join the ranks of spy?” he cocked a slim black eyebrow at her and she furrowed her own brow, watching him as evenly as possible over the stacks of books between them.

“I- I thought you would take the first opportunity possible to send me packing to St. Mungo’s,” she admitted, eyes downcast. She heard his shift but did not look up, going as far to keep her eyes down when he cleared his throat.

“You will look at me when I speak to you, Ms. Granger,” his voice was a silken command and her head shot up, eyes locking on his. She noticed their color was much darker, a deeper shade of black than she’d ever seen them- well, in recent memory at least, and cringed. She wondered if that meant he was the most annoyed with her he’d been to date.

“If I am to take care of you, to protect and guide you through this war there will be no more secrets,” she opened her mouth as if to argue but snapped it closed at his sharp glare, “No. More. Secrets. Do I make myself clear, Ms. Granger?”

She bit her lip and gave a soft nod, waiting for him to carry on as she was certain he would.

“Good, now, these fits- my Godson has filled me in on their frequency and the length of time that you have been experiencing them but he knows little else. There are several blanks that I expect you to fill in to the best of your ability,” he took a drink from the steaming mug of black coffee in front of him and she could see him inhaling the scent of it. It seemed to soothe him and she made a mental note of that little factoid, anything to help her deal with this man who had made her his…his what? His responsibility? His _problem_?

Hermione heaved a deep sigh and nodded her agreement. She would answer his questions, if only for the fact that she was desperate for the episodes to stop entirely.

“This may be uncomfortable to discuss, Ms. Granger, but I must ask, how do they feel?” his question caught her off-guard and she sucked a breath, staring at him with wide eyes.

“Feel?” her voice cracked and she swallowed dryly as her mind raced to the way the episodes felt, the way her muscles seized, her head ached, her entire body throbbed with an indescribable pain.

“Yes, the onset, the height, and the inevitable release, how do they feel,” he watched her with impenetrable onyx eyes. She wanted- needed to see the motive behind the question but he gave nothing away as he rested one black clad arm atop the table and sipped his coffee with his free hand. He pushed aside the books that rested between them, presumably to see her better, and she felt trapped in his intense gaze.

She cleared her throat, “at first it feels as if I’m having a muscle spasm, like when you keep your foot in a cold, wet shoe for too long. It only takes a few seconds for the pain to work its way from my feet to my hips, like someone is trying to rip me in half,” she paused, licked her incredibly dry lips, and took a deep breath.

“Would tea help you carry on, Ms. Granger?” his voice was quiet, deep, and silken. It drew her eyes back to his from the table to which they drifted and she shook her head tensely.

“I don’t think all the tea in Scotland could make this easier,” her reply was terse and bathed in the pain of months of suffering.

“Firewhiskey then?” she flushed and his eyes flashed before she looked away from him again.

“It goes straight up my spine, right into my head and throbs behind my eyes. I’ve read that they brain can’t hurt, that it isn’t possible but if it could, mine would. It feels as though the tips of my hair are on fire, everything aches, and tenses, and burns, and I feel like if I could just stop breathing it would be a mercy. My lungs unfortunately allow just enough breath to stay alive and conscious and no amount of spellwork seems to be effective in relieving the symptoms.”

“How do you know this?” he questioned, watching her with the same level intensity. She shrugged her shoulders and worried her bottom lip.

“Draco has tried, nothing we’ve found works. Now when I try to sleep my entire body burns like I’ve been tossed into a burning building. My lungs hurt like they’re filled with smoke and if I don’t sit up I’ll surely choke to death. It happens every time I begin to lull to sleep and it shocks my body back into wakefulness,” she was wringing her hands in her lap now, her eyes locked on them. She could still feel his eyes burning into her and she suddenly wished she hadn’t hacked off all of her hair.

It would be a blessing to be able to hide behind the obnoxious, bushy locks at that moment.

She glanced up when he didn’t speak to find him in an interesting position of thought. The pointer finger of his right hand traced his lips as he stared somewhere above her head, while his left pointer finger traced the rim of his coffee mug. He paused to look down at her and his hands fell to the table to grip his mug. She watched spidery, slender fingers wrap around the mug and wondered for a moment if they were warm, or cold.

She hadn’t had a chance to notice when he’d been holding her to him in her panic.

“I must go for a time, Ms. Granger. I will send Draco to sit with you- I do not wish for you to be alone. In the meantime, I must request that you compile all information that you have come across, no matter how miniscule, and prepare to present the information to me in a clear, concise manner. Is this possible in your current condition?” he watched her evenly as he slid his chair back and stood, all grace to loom over her.

“Easy enough, it’s already done,” she furrowed her brow, not sure of his reasoning but not willing to question someone who was going to help her.

“I am glad to find your loss of memory has not completely destroyed that impressive intellect,” it wasn’t a compliment, nor was it an insult. It was an observation, cold and bland. She watched as he swept from the room, not before snatching up his billowing robes of course, and left her alone in the empty chambers.

She fiddled with one of the ever-growing ends of her hair, short little curls that dangled over her ears and sighed to herself. Crookshanks gave a low mewl and she turned to look at the wide yellow eyes of her familiar.

“Whatever was I thinking, you’ve not had anything to eat since yesterday, have you?” she stood, happy to distract herself, and wondered briefly just where he’d gone.

When Draco came to her they settled into a companionable silence in Snape’s sitting room, books open in their laps and both their minds otherwise occupied.

♡

“What curse did you use on Ms. Granger, Bella?” Severus was never one to beat around the bush and the question popped from his mouth as soon as the ragged, mad witch stood in front of him. She gave a sick grin and a soft cackle.

“I did just what our lord required, Severus, she will never find peace,” she opened the door further to usher him in to the hovel of a home she shared with her once illustrious husband. The Lestrange family had fallen in honor with their Lord, and thus he’d drained their vaults and left them all but penniless.

“That is not what I asked, Bella. What curse did you use?” his wand was at her throat and she wrinkled her nose at him but pulled her head back none the less. She knew as well as he that if she hurt their Lord’s precious right hand he would end her miserable existence.

“Lux angor, only the darkest of wizards will be able to soothe her!” she cackled then, Severus growled in his throat, “Soon she’ll come crawling to our Lord!” he pocketed his wand with a dark glare at his fellow Death Eater and she hissed at him.

“Shame, I bet even little sevvy-wevvy won’t be able to help her!” a flick of his retrieved wand knocked the mad witch unconscious and he quickly, but precisely obliviated their meeting from her memory. She’d think she merely fainted from the residual torture of the Dementors.

“Lux angor,” he growled as he stepped from her hovel and apparated quickly away. Of course, a curse that would repel any positive magic cast toward the witch. Bella was correct in her assessment; the girl would beg a Dark Wizard or Witch to save her if she discovered the truth of her curse.

He cursed under his breath as he made his way down the path from the gate to the entrance to Hogwarts. Of course, Dumbledore, given this information would chose to send the girl away, possibly obliviate or Merlin forbid end her.

He made a choice in that moment. This information would remain on his conscience alone.

Salazar help him, he hoped he’d performed enough dark magic by his wand to at least soothe her.


	14. XIII - Mulceo

 

♡ _Mulceo - Soothe, Caress…_  ♡

“Lux Angor,” Hermione watched the wizard as he spoke, heard the Latin words pour smoothly from his lips, and blinked several times. Her mind instantly whirred to action, taking in the words and translating them with ease.

“Light anguish?” she furrowed her brow and wet her lips. Her eyes drifted to Draco who looked nonplussed as he stared at Snape.

“In a sense, yes. It isn’t a sensitivity to visual light, however, but more a lack of sensitivity to light magic. In an effort to keep it simple I will give you a brief explanation and provide you with several texts that will help you understand your new condition,” he paused, running his pointer finger around his lips, something she was coming to realize he did when he was in thought. “I’m afraid, Ms. Granger, that there is no cure for this particular Curse. I cannot guarantee that upon the death of Bellatrix Lestrange it will be ended. There is the very real likelihood that it will last for the rest of your natural life.”

“W-will it shorten my life?” She didn’t like the way her voice trembled but there was nothing for it. She was scared, scared by what he was telling her, scared about what it could mean.

“I cannot say,” she closed her eyes to press back the sting of incipient tears. “Are you prepared to hear more or do you require a moment to collect yourself?”

Hermione shook her head, pressed the urge to cry to the back of her mind for later, and opened her eyes to lock them on the Professor’s. She likened his eyes in that moment to sticky tar, holding her in place with their never ending, fathomless black depths. She thought she might have caught a flicker of a forest-y color but forced her mind to focus on the task at hand.

“I’m ready.”

“There’s a girl,” Draco attempted a tease but her eyes never left the Professor’s. As long as she was held there in his gaze she wouldn’t fall apart. It was all she had, he was the glue holding her together for the moment. She could NOT, would NOT, fall apart in front of him.

“The Curse was created by a man named Sheridyne Selwyn. He was an early follower of the Dark Lord and a pureblood of much wealth. He was also a very talented practitioner of dark magic. He created many curses and hexes for the Dark Lord. Lux Angor was not one of them,” he paused and she nodded for him to continue, he was getting to the parts that may be upsetting and she appreciated his hesitance. Still, she knew she needed to know.

“Lux Angor was created when Sheridyne fell in love with a young woman who absolutely detested him and everything he stood for. He attempted to woo her, to bring her to the dark with spells beyond her wildest dreams. She fell in love with a wizard who worked on the side of the light, Sheridyne’s own brother Acastour. Acastour was a powerful wizard for Dumbledore’s cause and brought down many Death Eaters in those days of the early war. He was a good and loyal friend, and a valuable comrade.

“When she married Acastour, Sheridyne was livid. He set to work, his desire to create something incredibly wicked to cause both his brother and his new sister-in-law pain. In the end the Lux Angor was created and cast with incredibly cruel intent on Isobel. They attempted everything they could think of to cure Isobel but she was beyond help, no one on the side of the light, not even Poppy, could understand what was wrong and how to help her. She writhed in pain, her muscles in agony. They were able to heal every ail but the pain, the pain and the sleeplessness that began to plague her.

“Acastour, in love with Isobel as he was called his brother alone to a clearing, Isobel the only person at his side as they met on what both considered neutral ground. A simple touch from Sheridyne was all that was required to ease Isobel’s suffering and wanting his wife to live without pain Acastour sent her away with his brother, unable to bear her pain. It was the darkness in Sheridyne that helped Isobel, his curse, his creation was immune to the effects of good magic, of pure magic.

“He had created this curse to cause her pain, to draw her to him. To make her need his darkness. This is the reason Bellatrix cast the curse on you, under the Dark Lord’s command, to bring you to him, to make you seek the darkness that has tainted his magical core and that can soften your pain, perhaps even eliminate it.”

Hermione stared at him with wide eyes. She could see Draco’s mouth hanging slightly open from the corner of her eye and heard Snape instruct him to ‘cease his gaping’. Her mind raced through the story, lighting on information before spiraling away.

“What happened to Isobel?” she wasn’t sure why it was the question she’d landed on but it was out there now. Nothing she could do about it.

Eyes the darkest she’d ever seen watched her steadily. “She killed herself. Turned her wand on her own chest and cast the Avada Kedavra on herself. Shortly after the brother’s killed one another in a major battle between the members of the Order and the Death Eaters. A short year later the Dark Lord was bested by a woman’s love for her child.”

“Is she the only other person ever known to have had the Lux Angor cast on her?” she was chewing her lip now and Snape gave her a sharp nod. His eyes every diligent in their observance of her facial features and body language. “And the only thing that can soothe me is the presence of a dark wizard, someone who has tainted their magical core with dark spells?”

A sharp nod, “More than this, it is not the presence, but the touch of a dark witch or wizard that can soothe you. Only one who has performed enough dark magic to have tainted themselves significantly, I would presume.”

“That’s why he had her use it on me, he thinks this will bring me to his side. Erasing my memories of everyone…Why did he do that?” her brow furrowed, her mind racing through the conclusions she was coming to, the questions it was opening up.

“I do not think the intention was to simply remove the people, but to remove every memory. I believe he’d hoped to be able to ‘re-program’ you, as it were.” Draco’s grip on his chair was white-knuckled now and Hermione glanced to him from Snape. She reached, patted his hand with as much reassurance as she could gather, and looked back to Snape.

Her mind clicked, the racing stalling for a moment as a fire burned through her veins. “Isobel…”

“Ms. Granger?” he cocked an eyebrow.

Her eyes shot up to meet his as she worried her bottom lip.

“Isobel, she killed herself because of her love, because she couldn’t bear to be apart from her husband,” she tasted blood and released her lip to lick away the irony liquid, if either of her companions noticed they said nothing. “I couldn’t remember my friends, my loyalties, I never would have turned to a dark wizard. I’m far too loyal, even now, with Draco I know my loyalty is fierce. I would protect him from an unforgivable in a heartbeat and we’ve been friends for only a few weeks.”

Snape nodded and Hermione’s mind reeled further.

“I think I should lie down,” she stood, wobbled, and felt a firm arm catch her around the waist as she leaned into a familiar body. Draco stared down at her with worried icy eyes and she shook her head. “Thank you, Draco.”

“Take her to her room and then return to me, Draco, we have several things to discuss,” she heard him instruct, “and be sure that beast finds his way into the room with her,” he said, almost as if an afterthought.

The warmth of her covers found her but she didn’t find sleep, even in her half aware state she could only stare at the ceiling. Her mind shifted from wonder to horror, and back again.

Circe, things had just become that much more complicated.

♡

Severus sat, a tumbler of fire whiskey in his hand. The bottle rested on the table beside him and he caressed it with the long fingers of his free hand as he sat in thought.

When he tipped his tumbler up for a drink he sighed at the glow of the fire through the deep amber liquid. Her eyes, it reminded him of her eyes, so wide, so disturbed by the news he’d been forced to give her. No young woman should have to hear she would be in debilitating pain for the rest of her life.

Merlin, they’d be lucky if she didn’t turn her wand upon herself just as Isobel had done after all.

He thought back to that woman, caught between two men. He’d gone to school with her, with all of them. She’d been a beauty, it was no wonder she’d managed to attract the attention of the brothers. She’d taken the attention of every man she’d ever met, save Severus. He’d been far too distracted by his feelings for Lily to focus on Isobel Avery.

Finishing his drink, he poured another, only to be halted in his drink by the soft sound of her door opening. His eyes swept across the floor and landed on a pair of bare feet. Traced up bare legs to a young woman standing in a long black shirt, her growing hair was wild on top of her head. She looked weary, despite the fact she’d gotten a full night’s rest on his lap just the evening before. He wondered if she’d had another fit while she was in her room.

“Ms. Granger,” he greeted, his quiet voice sounded like a boom in the silent room.

“Sir,” she paused and he watched as she worried her lip and fidgeted with her fingers for a few minutes. His patience had never been outstanding and with the sleep he’d had the night before he found himself growing irritable much more quickly than he might have in the past.

“Can I help you, Ms. Granger?” his tone was sharp, voice cold, irritation rolled off of him in waves. She stilled, those amber eyes wide before she shook her head.

“Never mind, sir, I apologize for disturbing you,” she turned, her hand was back on the handle for her door when he managed to speak once more.

“I would prefer you simply expressed to me your concern, Ms. Granger.”

She paused in her place and he could see her shoulders tense. Her toes curled into the stone floor beneath her and he almost growled. He would have to set a few ground rules on required clothing outside of her room, it seemed. It was inappropriate for her to be dressed (not dressed) in such a manner in his presence.

“I just, I was curious, you use the dark arts, don’t you?” he could see she was fidgeting again, despite the fact her back was to him still. He cleared his throat.

“Face me when you address me, Ms. Granger.”

The witch turned slowly, her amber eyes catching on him and remaining on his face. He took another drink from his tumbler before clutching it in his fingertips and letting his arm hang over the rest of his chair.

“You do, don’t you? Use the dark arts that is. Have you, what I mean to say is- are you- can you,” she trailed, she was bright red, he could see the flush even by the dim firelight that flickered through the room.

“Don clothing appropriate of a young woman in the presence of her Professor and I will assist you, Ms. Granger. You need only ask,” a brilliant smile touched her lips for the briefest of seconds before she blushed once more. Looking down at herself it was as if she’d just realized what she was wearing and she was out of his sight in less than a heartbeat. Her door slung shut behind her.

He couldn’t help the chuckle that crawled up from his chest. Low and dark, quiet enough not to be heard by once bushy haired young Gryffindors.


	15. XIV - Proselytus

 

♡ _Proselytus - Strange, Foreign…_  ♡

“I could, Severus could teach me a little basic dark magic, if it would help you, Hermione,” Draco trailed, he looked entirely uncomfortable and it tugged at Hermione’s heart. He was a good friend, she couldn’t even begin to understand how they’d not gotten along before she’d lost her memory of those around her.

She’d just finished telling him all about the night before, how uncomfortable both she and Snape had been. Now he was offering her his help, and she appreciated, it, really she did, but thinking back to the night before- it hadn't been _that_ bad...

♡

Hermione swallowed as she let the black clad wizard into her personal room in his chambers. He’d never stepped foot in the room, not even the day she’d come to live in his dungeon chambers and now he stood large in front of her doorway. Somehow the room seemed smaller with his presence, he changed the atmosphere without a thought. He was powerful, she could feel that, but it was more than just power that radiated from him.

He was darkness, he was pride, he was overwhelming on more levels than she cared to dwell upon. She’d heard Draco describe certain famous witches and wizards as ‘larger than life’, she was almost certain Snape fell into this category.

She attempted to empty the thoughts from her head, to push every reservation that nagged at her conscious mind to the very back and lock them away. Still when the door closed behind him her breath hitched and he gave her a curious look. Without so much as a word he reached behind him and pressed the door back to an ajar position and her breathing leveled.

Clever wizard, that Severus Snape could be. Circe and Nimue help her she was floundering in the situation she’d found herself in.

“Much as I appreciate the critical mind, Ms. Granger, this is not the time for thinking. If you continue to overthink this situation it will only bring you unnecessary stress,” his voice was deep, low, and silk smooth. Such a voice should be against wizarding law, it made her heartrate peak and her muscles tense.

“Do- do you- I mean…How- how is this going to work?” it took her a moment to find words, and her voice cracked much to her embarrassment when she finally found them. She could feel the heat suffuse her cheeks but refused to look away from those tar-like eyes. Not an all-together difficult task when one considered the way they seemed to suck her in and hold her in place- like they held all the unknown secrets of the universe, as if they’d seen everything there was for a man to see. He’d been to hell and back, she could see that much in his eyes, though they gave away little else, holding his secrets just beneath the surfaces of their inky ice.

“Calm yourself, Ms. Granger, I assure you I have as little desire as you to be in this situation. We can conduct ourselves as adults, can we not?” her nod was numb, dumb, she felt as if she’d been slipped a draught of some sort or another. Not too far-fetched when she considered the wizard she shared a living space with. “Good, then make yourself comfortable in your bed, I will do my utmost to ensure your comfort in this arrangement,” his voice was clinical and she was incredibly thankful for it, she didn’t think she could handle it otherwise.

Hermione turned her back on him, feeling his eyes burning into her spine, and turned back the sleek, silver silk covers that topped her bed. A gift from Draco who found her sheets ‘appallingly abrasive’ and ‘garishly red’. She almost laughed thinking about the way he’d scowled at her old set as she slipped one knee into the cool sheets.

It was a strange thing, crawling into her bed and lying down with Snape staring at her. The abrasive wizard stood stalk still, his back rod straight and his arms crossed behind it as she pulled the covers to her chin and watched him expectantly. He strode to the side of her bed then and with a stiffness she was almost certain strained his muscles lay beside her in the bed on his side.

The blankets created a shield between them but she could still feel the warmth that seemed to radiate from him seeping through the covers and she pinched her eyes closed.

_1…_

He lay his hand on her arm and her entire body tensed.

_2…_

The lights were doused with a quick flick of his wand and she opened her eyes to stare at the ceiling above her, sightless.

_3…_

His wand made a dull ‘thud’ on the wood of her bedside table as it landed beside hers.

_4…_

His breathing was surprisingly even and she felt her own falling into a similar rhythm subconsciously.

_5…_

She found that counting inside her head was incredibly relaxing and she felt the beginnings of sleep begin to claim her as her eyelids grew heavy.

_6…_

His hand was warm on her arm, through the sheets, and it brought her an odd sense of comfort now that she couldn’t see the man through the deep darkness of her room.

_7…_

She felt the bed shift as Crookshanks leapt onto the bed and padded up to settle between their bodies on her small bed. His purrs furthered her comfort and she thought she may just be able to find sleep.

_8…_

She practiced the breathing exercises Madam Pomfrey had suggested. Breathing in through her nose to a count of five.

_9…_

Holding her breath to a count of four.

_10…_

Releasing through her mouth to the count of eight.

_11…_

She was beginning to lose track of the numbers as her body laxed fully into the blankets. Hermione never made it to twelve, instead she found herself blissfully unaware of the world around her.

♡

“You shared a bed with her? A student?” grey eyebrows rose over yellow eyes and Severus heaved a breath. A long swig of his favorite Rum working wonders with his nerves.

“You know as well as I, Rolanda, that I have never once acted in any untoward manner toward a student,” he groused, eyes locked on the inside of his glass and the elder witch gave a sharp laugh.

“Of course, old boy! Merlin knows I’ve had more inappropriate thoughts about students than you have!” she gave a bawdy laugh that made his face pinch further and poured them each another round. “She certainly isn’t your type at any rate, too smart,” she gave him a cattish smirk as she settled back.

Severus smacked his glass down on her desk and locked her in his dark gaze.

“You know as well as I that this is not the issue at hand. Will I be subjected to this on a nightly basis? Can I allow the witch to suffer for my shortcomings? Will I devote the rest of my life to yet another master in the form of a witch who may never be healed?”

“You are over worrying again, mate,” she fixed him in her sharp gaze. Yellow eyes flashed and he was at once reminded of a cat and snake. Rolanda Hooch certainly lived up to her house. “If you do not want to care for the young woman, the answer is simple,” she finished her drink, sharp eyes still on him. “Give her over to your Dark Lord and wash your hands of the witch.”

Severus couldn’t help the low growl that bubbled in his throat as he sat forward in his seat.

“You know as well as I, I cannot, will not subject her to that. What if he takes her to his bed?” his grimace was real. Rolanda ran a hand through her short, spiky, grey hair and gave a shrug. Her affiliation in the war had been decidedly neutral. Her loyalty remained with Hogwarts, like much of the staff, and they would remain loyal to her and her students.

“Then you know what you have to do,” she held her gaze as she leaned forward. Their tense forms were separated only by the desk and Severus finally relented and sat back. Long, slender fingers massaged the bridge of his nose as he stared at the elder witch across from him.

She may have had a good fifty years on him but she was the closest thing to a friend he had in the entire bloody school. She knew the ends and outs of his life, knew how to speak his language, the subtleties of the Slytherin, as she had herself been one.

“And so it happens, I give myself to another master,” he pinched his eyes closed and barely restrained his jump when a hand fell on his own, curled into a fist on the desk. He opened his eyes to find her pale, callused fingers covering his own.

“Mistress, and certainly this one will not be so cruel,” there was that catlike smile again and he shook his head, withdrawing his hand from beneath hers.

“Of that we cannot be certain, she will surely demand as much attention if not more,” he grumbled.

“Yes, but perhaps she can provide you a little peace as well,” she clapped her hands together and stood. The abrupt motion did not surprise him, nor did the fact that she began to pace her office, staring at the moving photographs clipped from the paper. Former students who had made her quite proud. “And on the subject of your sleeping situation- I recommend you do away with your separate rooms in favor of one shared living space that will make you both comfortable. Turn the room she occupies now into a study room for her, give her a place to escape your presence but adjust your minds to the idea that you will be sharing a sleeping space.”

Severus sneered at the idea but gave a short nod. He could see the logic behind it. Give the witch a room to escape to but make it clear to their minds that they would be sharing a sleeping space for the foreseeable future.

“Good evening, Rolanda,” he waved a hand over his shoulder as he swept from her office, leaving the door ajar behind him.

“You’re quite welcome, Severus,” he heard her amused huff as he made his way back to his dungeon chambers and newest burden.


	16. XV - Murmurationis

 

♡ _Murmurationis - Screaming_ ♡

A week had passed sharing a living space with the young witch and Severus had finally grown comfortable enough with the arrangement that he no longer found himself dreading the return to his dungeon chambers. Hermione Granger was a surprisingly amicable roommate and she kept their space tidy, and smelling incredibly sweet (though he wasn’t sure that was intentional on her part).

He was just completing his usual late-night rounds through the halls, quick to swoop down on any student who so much as dared to be outside of their dorms past their curfew hour. It was a pleasure he had indulged in since his very first year as a Professor and a joy he would never give up. Watching their faces drain of color, their eyes widen in their faces as they realized they would be serving under him in detention- or worse yet, they would be losing mass amounts of house points.

Just the thought brought a cruel smirk to his face as he made his way back down from the upper floors of the school toward his dungeon chambers. His smirk only deepened at the familiar sight of tousled black hair striding quietly (or so they thought) beside a wild head of bright red hair.

“Potter, Weasley, to what do we owe the pleasure of your presence outside of the Gryffindor Common Room?” He drawled from behind them and reveled in the way their postures stiffened and their bodies came to a complete halt.

“Sir,” Potter was the first to turn, his fists clenched at his sides and his green eyes burning with rage. He wasn’t unaware of the boy’s hatred, in fact he’d done everything in his power to foster it, to grow it and nurture it until it was of the most epic proportions. He would be lying to say it was only because of his task as spy, no, he despised James Potter, and this boy- his child- he was too similar.

The boy gritted his teeth as that slimy smirk crawled across his face. Weasley looked absolutely petrified, yes, Potter was bold enough to defy him but Weasley hadn’t the same spine as his friend.

“Yes, how is it you’ve managed to stray from your dorms? I recall the Gryffindor Tower being in the opposite direction. I’d say fifty points is a fair reduction for this,” Severus paused, savoring the indignation on the boys faces. “A piece…” He drawled, “Do find your way back to your dorms before I see fit to accompany you.”

He could hear them cursing as he walked away, were he any other man there would be a skip in his step. Oh, how he enjoyed ruining that boy’s day.

♡

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose as soon as he entered his chambers. Of course his peace for the entirety of the day would not last. He was doomed to forever be taunted by a peace that would never be his.

“What happened?” He hissed upon seeing Draco trying to restrain a writhing Hermione Granger. There were books scattered all around and Draco’s eyes were wide as they could possibly be.

“She said something about remembering- and then she started screaming. I don’t- there was nothing I could do for her,” Severus knelt beside the writhing witch, realizing that this was not like her typical fits. Her high-pitched screams made his ears ring and he pressed his lips into a thin line.

The backs of two long, slender fingers stroked her cheek and her face relaxed for the briefest of seconds. She seemed to register his face with wild eyes before the pain was ripping through her again. Severus instructed Draco to stand before scooping the witch into his arms and standing himself.

“What’s happening?” Draco had regained control of his emotions and watched as Severus held the witch tightly, keeping her from squirming from his arms.

“I believe she is experiencing muscle memory, her body is reliving everything that has been lost as her mind attempts to assimilate the information it lost,” Severus noted that Draco paled considerably.

“She’s going to remember everything, and everyone?” his voice was quiet. Severus had no doubt he was lamenting the loss of his newfound friend.

“I have no doubt she will remember _everything_ , I’m afraid this does pose a rather large problem for the Dark Lord’s plan.”

“Good, he can’t have her, she’s too good Severus, even you must see that,” Draco trailed, watching as Hermione finally stilled in Severus’ arms. The elder wizard cleared his throat and Draco’s eyes shot up to his face.

“She will be fine, Draco, though I cannot guarantee your continued friendship. You must remember she has a large capacity for forgiveness and I am quite certain this time you have spent together will be as rooted in her memory as everything she is regaining,” Draco cocked a petulant eyebrow.

“I’m afraid you won’t placate me on this, Godfather. She _hated_ me,” Severus gave an inelegant snort, a holdover from his less than proper upbringing.

“You called her foul names at every turn, boy, what did you expect. If you continue to present yourself as a friend, not foe, I am certain she will carry on the same.”

“But won’t she be moving back to Gryffindor tower, now she has her memories of St. Potter there is hardly a reason for her to stay here?” Draco was watching him with level eyes. He shifted the witch in his arms and heaved a deep breath. She slept now, peacefully with her head against his chest.

“You mean aside from the lingering effects of Lux Angor?” Severus cocked an imperious eyebrow, Draco’s cheeks colored and he frowned to himself.

“How will she make her excuses for not staying with the others?”

“A worry for another time. For now, I believe you should find your way to your rooms, Draco. We will see you tomorrow before classes, I require your presence as I am needed in the Great Hall,” Draco nodded stiffly, his eyes lingering on the limp form of the witch still held closely to Severus.

“I hope she isn’t too annoyed with you when she wakes,” there was amusement dancing in the blonde’s eyes once more and Severus gave him a blank look.

“I can handle the hellion I assure you.”

♡

Hermione woke and pressed a quivering hand to her temple. Her head ached and her muscles felt tense and sore. It took her a moment to recognize where she was and when she did she tensed in place. Memories, dozens of them from the past several weeks came flooding back to her and she flushed. She’d been sharing a bed with Professor Snape. Professor Snape!

Oh Merlin, could anything more mortifying happen?

She massaged her temple with cold fingers and wished the tension that filled her body away. The ache was almost more than she could take and her throat felt dry- she hadn’t felt so badly since she’d woken in the Hospital Wing after first being attacked.

Inhaling she shifted and whimpered at the sharp pain it shot through her.

“You will find yourself sore for a time longer, Ms. Granger,” a cold voice cut through the darkness and Hermione squeaked in surprise before shifting ever so gently. Her body cried out in protest but it didn’t draw a sound from her as it had before.

“What happened?”

“You have ascertained that your memories of those you know have been recovered, yes?” a light burned from the tip of his dark wand as he cast a _lumos_ that lit his features. She turned her head to see deep obsidian eyes staring back at her.

“Yes, I remember everyone, Harry, Ron,” she paused, “Draco.”

“He is quite upset in the belief that you will no longer spare him your friendship,” the voice was hard, cold. Hermione felt her insides squirm. Draco was her friend now, wasn’t he? Could she simply abandon that now that she recalled who he was?

She realized that no, she couldn’t.

“Draco is my friend,” she asserted sternly, “he will be my friend even if he royally screws up,” she lowered her gaze. “I don’t turn my back on my friends, Professor.”

“Good,” there was something softer in his voice that made her watch him with wide eyes. “Now, if you do not mind, Ms. Granger, it is the middle of the night and I am in need of at least a few hours of rest to tolerate the dunderheads you call classmates,” he huffed. Hermione had to stifle a laugh behind her hand, there was a warmth in him that hadn’t been there when she’d first awoken.

Did he really think she would spurn Draco? And would he really have cared so much if she had? All signs pointed to yes on both counts.

“Goodnight, Sir,” she whispered as the light from his wand was extinguished and she heard his grunt before he placed a hand on her upper arm. His fingers were cool and spidery and she fought the sudden urge to cover them with her own hand.

Strange, now she remembered everything about him and she understood so much more than she ever thought she could. She knew now, he was a double agent, their suspicions about him were only half-right.

She didn’t find sleep until his breathing changed from shallow and cautious to deep, airy breaths. Hermione smiled to herself and dared to cover his cool fingers with her own.

Yes, there was definitely more to the taciturn wizard than met the eye.


	17. XVI - Amicus

 

♡ _Amicus - Friend, Companion…_ ♡

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite babysitter. How are you today?” Hermione greeted Draco from her position in her usual chair in Snape’s sitting room. There was a book in her lap, resting on her knee and open to the page she’d been reading when he’d entered.

“You certainly are chipper,” he grunted in typical Draco fashion, annoyed at the early morning, and her attitude within that early morning. She smirked and tipped her head in the direction of the small kitchen.

“Professor Snape was in a foul mood this morning, coffee is in the kitchen, a heating charm should do the trick,” Draco grunted again- this time his agreement- and sauntered into the kitchen for the beverage that seemed to give all Slytherins life. Of course, she’d only spent any real amount of with two Slytherins, both of whom were not morning people. Perhaps there were others out there who were more amicable in the mornings?

She doubted it.

“So, am I to understand you were concerned I wouldn’t love you anymore?” Hermione taunted in a sing-song when Draco reentered the room looking much more functional. He shot her and icy glare and transfigured himself a chair from one of the pillows in Snape’s chair.

Anyone who’d ever entered his chambers knew not to sit in his chair, it appeared.

“Please, I wouldn’t worry myself over the affections of an intolerable plebian such as yourself,” his nose was in the air, his voice haughty. Hermione grasped her chest and gave a melodramatic gasp.

“Well! I say! You can see yourself out then, if that is the case,” she waggled her eyebrows with a smirk when he looked back at her, lip curled.

“So Severus can skin me alive? I think I’ll take my chances with your poor person diseases,” Hermione snorted in laughter.

“My poor person diseases, honestly Draco is that the best you have?” his laugh followed hers, eyes lit with mirth.

“It is seven in the morning, you were lucky to receive even a glance,” Hermione shook her head and gave him a long look, their laughter dying slowly.

“You know I really would never turn my back on you, don’t you? You’re my friend, Draco, and you will be for the rest of my life- whether you like it or not.”

The blonde nodded and gave her a long look. “Your Gryffindor loyalty is flattering but I certainly wouldn’t have been too terribly broken up about the loss of your friendship.”

Hermione cocked an eyebrow and a sly smile curled her lips.

“Oh? Is that so? Well then, I suppose I won’t be able to do any research into the Draco loves Harry matter after all,” her tone was teasing but she knew he could hear the underlying seriousness.

“I don’t like that prat,” he growled, his eyes narrowed on the brunette witch.

“And I don’t like books,” Draco snorted into the coffee he’d been just attempting to take a drink of and looked up at her with a dark scowl.

“You’re the worst sort of friend,” he admonished her with another look, summoned one of her shirts from her room, and wiped his face before she could protest.

“Despicable boy,” she huffed and stuck her tongue out at him before the two settled into a comfortable silence.

“You come back to classes today, correct?” Hermione shook her head and gave a little shrug.

“Unfortunately, no, Professor Snape believes that it would be best to determine how often my fits will occur with our consistent sleeping arrangement. He would prefer not to have to come tend to me in the middle of a class, as he so graciously put it,” Draco sniggered.

“He’s never been one for niceties, even you should know that Granger.”

“Back to Granger, am I?” Draco cocked an eyebrow.

“If I am to be forced to babysit you, then yes. Now, I require more coffee wench,” Hermione cut him a playful glare before sticking her tongue out.

“You know as well as I where the kitchen is.”

“Impossible to find good help these days…” Came his grumbled retort as he sauntered from the room and back into the kitchen.

“There isn’t any help out there good enough for you,” she called at his back and heard his bark of laughter before the sound of dishes being shuffled met her ears.

♡

“Miss Granger, your fidgeting has reached an all-time high this evening,” Snape commented tersely, and Hermione stilled in her place, not daring to move at his irritated baritone voice.

“Sorry Sir, I suppose I’m feeling a bit anxious about tomorrow,” she did her best to mask her tone of concern and she felt the wizard beside her in the bed shift, his hand fell away from her arm- the place he made a habit of allowing the appendage to rest. “Also, if it isn’t too much trouble, could you call me Hermione? We share a bed and frankly it’s quite unnerving being called Ms. Granger at all hours of the evening.”

She could tell he was contemplating this and worried it was a stupid idea. Obviously, he would see it as breaking the constraints that kept them in their places as Professor and student. Then again, hadn’t those constraints been broken when they began to share a bed, and a bed room?

“I suppose that may be acceptable, you may, if you wish- call me Severus, though you would be none too pleased to find yourself in a situation in which you have abused this privilege and used it outside of these chambers.”

“Thank you?” Hermione wasn’t really sure if she was meant to be grateful or not and he said no more on the matter so she let it rest.

“As for your concerns regarding tomorrow, what- and be succinct- is causing you anxiety?” she wrinkled her nose. It was odd, in his own way he obviously hoped to assuage her concerns, in another he was being so curt it was hard to believe he had any desire to help her at all.

And when she considered it that was most likely exactly his end goal.

He couldn’t after all have her thinking he gave her even a second thought.

“I worry about having a fit, about rejoining my classmates, about how Harry and Ron will react to the changes that they will no doubt notice,” she, quite subconsciously, ran a hand through her cropped off hair and heaved a deep breath.

“Petty concerns, you should concern yourself with your studies, the rest shall fall in line.”

Hermione pursed her lips at his words but she was becoming quite adept at reading him. There was a certain comfort in those words, the assurance that the rest would fall into place, that she needed to only continue to be a good student.

She’d been residing with the wizard for more than a month now and as she learned his subtleties she realized he really could be quite kind. When the mood struck him of course- and it didn’t strike him often, obviously.

“Thank you, Severus.”

“Yes, well. Perhaps now you can allow me to sleep?” He huffed a breath as he tried to settle back into a comfortable position and Hermione lay back, she tried to keep her body entirely stationary but this seemed to annoy the wizard as well as he released a low growl and suddenly his wand was lit so that he could stare at her face.

“What is bothering you now? Merlin’s sake girl be brief, I require rest,” he growled, Hermione wet her lips before trapping the nail of her pointer finger between her teeth. A bad habit she’d never quite managed to shake.

“The fits, what if I have a fit?” She was staring up at him with what she knew had to be wide frightened eyes. She knew because it was exactly how she felt, lost and frightened.

“I will see to you should you require that sort of assistance,” came his curt response and Hermione shook her head.

“And what will I tell them if it happens?”

“Did you have a spell today?”

“Two, both near evening just before you returned,” she answered promptly. She’d been dwelling on those two fits all day. Severus nodded.

“You have no cause for alarm. I believe the residual magic of sharing your sleeping space with me has the desired effect. You will come to me after your final class in my classroom and we will see to it that you are able to attend dinner with the dunderheaded duo without giving away your secret,” he cocked an imperious eyebrow as if daring her to argue with his plan.

“What will I tell them when I go to a different room to sleep?” She shifted to lay on her side, one of her arms coming up to cradle her head as she stared at him. It was strange, how easily she’d grown accustomed to sharing a bed with the wizard. How easily conversation came to them some evenings and she would lay on her side and look at him like this.

He always lay on his back, black hair fanned around him, clean from his evening shower- sometimes still wet. She admired the sweep of his jaw, the sharp peak of his cheekbones, even the slightly oversized, hooked nose he had always sported seemed different in the evening light.

“You have been given your own private room in Gryffindor Tower, you will go there in the evening- from there you will floo into my private chambers to come here and sleep. You will of course also be welcome to continue to utilize the sitting room here and your personal rooms,” he added, and she gave him a broad smile.

“You’re not kicking me out?”

“Unfortunately, that does not appear to be a possibility at this juncture,” she grinned wider.

“Thank you, Severus.”

“Sleep witch.”


	18. XVII - Acer

 

♡ _Acer - Sharp, Keen, Fierce…_ ♡

“’Mione you’re back!” Hermione wrinkled her nose and straightened her back. Turning on her heel she spotted one very excited redhead bounding down the hall toward her, in his wake an only slightly less excited Harry.

“You know I can’t stand when you call me that, Ron,” she shook her head and cocked an eyebrow. He stared wide eyed at the short hair atop her head, as if only just realizing she’d changed.

“You look different, Mia, older,” Harry commented with a squint when he finally joined Ron’s side and she smiled.

“I felt like a change was in order. How are you two?” she moved forward first to wrap Harry in a tight hug and then to follow with a hug for Ron. He palmed her bum and she sighed, giving him a warning glare as she pulled back.

“We’ve missed you! Why’re you making that face?” Ron wrinkled his nose, freckles gathering and merging as he stared down at her curiously and she wet her lips subconsciously.

“I’ve missed you both as well. That doesn’t suddenly mean I enjoy being groped, Ronald.”

“There you are, Potter, Weasley,” Draco was at her side now, an arm slung casually over her shoulder. Harry glared, Ron snarled. Hermione rolled her eyes, of course he would come and attempt to start trouble her first day back in classes.

“Oh stop you,” she brushed his arm away and cast a smile at her two friends.

“What’s _he_ doing here, ‘Mione?” Ron glared, she could see Harry palming his wand as he glared daggers at the blonde who stood at her side.

“Draco and I are study partners in Arithmancy, he’s going to be around a lot more, I expect you two will be on your best behavior,” each earned a pointed look before she turned to Draco. “That goes for you too, blondie.”

Said blondie made a hurt face and grasped his chest, “I’m appalled you’d expect anything less from me, Hermione. Truly, you wound me.”

She grumbled under her breath and rolled her eyes, waiting for a response from Harry and Ron.

“I won’t be nice to him,” Harry all but growled, his green eyes flashed. Hermione raised both eyebrows and worried her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Look, I really don’t want this to come between us all but Draco is my friend, just like you are my friends.”

“But ‘ _Mione_ ,” Ron whined, “he’s never been anything but mean to you, to all of us!”

She narrowed her eyes at the redheaded wizard, “’ _No wonder she hasn’t got any friends,_ ’. Ring a bell, Ronald?” A prim brown eyebrow rose.

“Yeah! But ‘Mione that was _ages_ ago!”

“Yeah, and we saved you from that troll!” Harry came to his best friend’s defense. Hermione pursed her lips at them and took a deep breath in through her nose.

“And whose fault was it I’d hidden in that bathroom to be found by the troll?” she gave each a pointed look in turn and hooked her arm through Draco’s.  “Now, if you would like to join me for breakfast I will be more than pleased to enjoy your company,” she gave Ron a pointed look, “if you can control your mouth.”

Ron paled, Harry scowled, but both followed her, arm in arm with Draco, to the dining hall.

Hermione and Draco parted ways in the Great hall to go to their respective tables much to Harry and Ron’s pleasure. Harry and Ron who leapt on her with a multitude of questions as soon as they were sitting down and the two had their plates piled high. She wondered if the elves simply tired of them begging for more in the kitchens after class and that was why their breakfasts were often twice the size of the normal plate.

“How was your training?”

“Are you going to have to leave again?”

“What was it like in Russia?”

Hermione tuned out their questions, giving generic answers as her eyes flitted to the head table. Her stomach did a little flip at finding Severus Snape staring down at her. His black eyes seemed to be assessing her condition and, as if he found what he was looking for, he gave an almost imperceptible nod and turned back to his plate. Ignoring the chatter of teachers around him much as she was ignoring the chatter of her friends.

She counted herself lucky when Ginny joined them and started a conversation about quidditch that thoroughly and promptly drew their attention away from her renewed presence in the school.

_SSHG_

Hermione groaned in relief when she fell into the seat in front of Severus’ desk. Her muscles were drawing up and she could feel the soft spasms as they began to work their way through her flesh. It hadn’t taken more than six hours and she was already on the verge of a fit.

“Can stress make the episodes more frequent?” She questioned, her eyes open to slits to see his own obsidian gaze snap from his papers and up to meet her questioning stare.

“Do you feel as though there is an episode coming on at this moment, Hermione?” He pushed his chair back and the legs scrapped across the stone dungeon floor. She gave a sharp nod as her neck muscles were beginning to tense and clench. Her body flailed against her will for a moment and the Dark figure of the wizard stood, cursing under his breath. “You should have come to me sooner!”

Despite the venom of his snarl she recognized the concern in his voice just before her eyes rolled back in her head and she lost her vision entirely.

_SSHG_

“What ever will I do with you, you foolish girl?” Severus huffed as he rounded his desk to pull the writhing figure of Hermione Granger into his arms. As soon as he held her tightly to his chest he settled back in what had been her seat. The tremors stopped slowly, the obvious stress of her day not only shortening the time between attacks but the severity of her attack.

Subconsciously- or at least that is what he would tell himself- he stroked the side of her face, the long slender column of her throat. She really was a lovely woman, soft pearlescent skin and wide contrasting eyes. He hooked a short curl around his finger and played with it thoughtlessly as her tense body and soft tremors eventually died off completely.

This left the young witch sleeping in his arms, her head lay against his shoulder and her legs curled into his lap. He tried to ignore the soft scent of her weaving its way around him. He tried to ignore a lot of things about the woman who had been forcibly thrust into his life.

Severus honestly had no desire to feel the stirrings of emotion that she seemed to draw up in him. Nor would he ever entertain that he could have the things that he found himself slowly beginning to desire. If there were an option- if he had a choice- someone to give the witch over to who was as tainted as he with dark magic but still capable of honor…

He wouldn’t do it, not now, not ever.

Severus sighed to himself and massaged the bridge of his nose with his free hand. The soft scent of strawberries that lingered on her assaulted his senses in the most pleasant of ways and he forced himself to release the strand of hair he’d been playing with. He needed to take her to their chambers to rest it was true, but he also had much work to complete and she needed to at the very least make an appearance at dinner.

“Hermione,” he breathed softly into her ear, attempting to wake the witch without startling her as she slept against him. He felt her shift and repeated her name, his fingers drawing a line down her cheek as her eyes fluttered open. He was greeted by the color of her eyes, like sunlight streaming through whiskey. “You must make an appearance at dinner, little dove, and I must complete the papers.”

She nodded tiredly and shifted atop his lap, forcing his arms from around her and assisting her in standing.

“Thank you Severus,” she whispered softly, and much to both their shock leant down and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. He watched as her eyes went wide in surprise at her own bold actions before she turned and scurried from his office.

Severus shifted in his chair, heaved a troubled breath, and then stood. He had too many things on his mind now.

Why then, why was he piling yet another worry atop himself?

Hermione Granger would surely be the death of him, if Harry Potter, Voldemort, or Albus Dumbledore did not complete the task first.


	19. XVIII - Veritas

 

_*Veritas - Truth, reality, truthfulness…*_

“I grow tired of waiting for the witch to come of her own will, Severus,” the wizard nodded, black hair falling across his face like a wave of silk before ebony eyes met red. Severus noted that Voldemort looked more and more like his old self every day. He’d had witches and wizards working toward that end- to make him beautiful again. The beauty that had ensnared so many to do his bidding, Tom Riddle, no more a snake man.

“My lord, I must regretfully say that while she is under the guard of Dumbledore I am inclined to believe she will have no interest in changing sides,” he wanted to grimace but kept his face carefully blank.

“Truly?” the darkest of dark wizards paused, his face carefully concentrated. “What more pleasure can I off her to bring her to our side. I have taken away every tie that might hold her back. I offer her peace from the effects of an excruciating curse…”

Severus cleared his throat before he spoke this time, obsidian eyes betraying none of his inner turmoil as he attempted to slip all of the pieces into place. The pieces that would keep Hermione Granger from the hands of a madman.

“Perhaps, my Lord, if I were to offer her some reprieve from the pain?” he strove to keep his voice carefully neutral. If the Dark Lord, for even a second suspected that Severus desired Hermione Granger…He shuddered to think of the outcome.

“You my potions master?” he furrowed his brow in thought, red eyes bright. “Is this the distraction that has kept you away? Yes, I have noticed you attend me less and less, I had thought perhaps it was Dumbledore but I see now…I see…”

Severus felt his shoulders tense despite himself, Merlin, he needed to fix this! Could he backpedal? Unlikely.

Red eyes cut back to his face and he had to fight the instinct to hold his breath, it would get him nowhere in this situation. It would only show the Dark Lord even more how deeply he did desire Hermione Granger.

“Offer her comfort?” the wizard’s tongue, not quite human, flicked out to wet his lips. “Yes, offer her comfort, bring her to me as your own. I will grant you the mudblood Severus, and in return you will take her from the Order and bring her to our side.”

He didn’t exhale, he didn’t say a word, he only watched the dark wizard with a placid look on his face.

“Will you require assistance?” a wicked smirk licked the corner of the dark wizard’s lips. He reached out a bony hand, long, spiderlike fingers calling to Bellatrix who stood to the side. “I know several rather powerful spells that would see her entirely overcome by you.”

As if to punctuate the sentence Bella lay her face against the stark white palm and pressed her cheek into the slender digits. She reminded Severus briefly of a cat, a bedraggled, starved, mad cat.

“No, my Lord, I will bring her to you as my own,” the words tasted vile in his mouth. He was dismissed with a wave of the Dark Lord’s free hand, but was stopped as soon as he turned by a word.

“Severus,” a hiss-like voice called, “consider this your boon, when I succeed, when we win this war I will allow you to keep your mudblood pet.”

Bellatrix gave a mad laugh and he nodded sharply before sweeping from the softly lit room in Malfoy Manor.

At least if the light failed, if he was certain to keep his cover, he could ensure her safety.

_SSHG_

Hermione watched Severus pace the length of his sitting room before turning and repeating the process. His arms were crossed behind his back and his face set in a firm scowl.

She was lost in thought, thinking of all of the work she needed to get done. More so however she was considering what Severus had just informed her of his meeting with Voldemort the evening before. She pursed her lips at the annoyed sound Severus made and fixed her gaze back on the brooding Professor. He was still pacing.

“You’ll walk a hole in the rug if you carry on,” she commented off-handedly. The wizard paused, turned and fixed her in his obsidian gaze, and then sniffed in what seemed to be a derogatory manner.

“Frankly the rug is the least of my worries, witch. Do you understand what it is he will require of you? What will be expected of you? You’re a child! Barely legal,” he bit out and Hermione clenched the nail of her pointer finger between her front teeth. A bad habit to be certain but a nervous tick she’d never been quite able to shake.

“Then lie, you do it all of the time, don’t you? Tell him what he wants to hear, I’ll play the part,” he held her in his dark gaze, eyes narrowed.

“How can I be so sure you will successfully play the part of willing supplicant?” he sneered, Hermione heaved a breath and stood, looking around for a second before rolling her shoulders.

When she looked up at him again her face was open, sincere, frightened.

“Oh Professor, please, the pain is so strong,” she exhaled, stepping closer to him and looking up into his blank face. His breath stalled for just the briefest of seconds and she reached out to grab his hand. His fingers were cold as they’d been the night before. “Please sir, this curse, I have no one to turn to, who will help me? You are the only one I know,” she trailed, biting her lip as she brought his hand up as if inspecting his fingers.

“I’ll serve him, I will, loyally. Please just save me from this dreadful pain,” she pulled back, her body locking and tensing before she fell to the floor with a croaked sob, her mouth open in silent screams and her eyes wide.

“Merlin, Granger! Are you okay? Hermione!?” the genuine concern in his voice caught her off guard and she sat up suddenly and hooked her arms across her knees, the smile that played across her face seemed to darken the face of her Professor.

“Believable?” Severus snorted.

“Hardly,” she cocked a prim brown eyebrow and shifted so she was sitting with her legs criss-cross.

“You don’t have to lie, Sir, I know I am an acceptable actress. How else, after all of these years would Dumbledore believe I’m a naïve fool willing to accept his every word? How do you think Harry has survived all this time? It isn’t because of his mastery of literature, it isn’t because of his wit- because let’s face it, he’s not an idiot but he’s no genius either,” she was watching him with gleaming amber eyes. He held his position, not moving from her but not coming closer either. “And Viktor? Did you all believe I was smitten with the quidditch playing brute? Subtlety is not only a Slytherin artform Professor, much as you’d like to deny it Gryffindors are capable of tact and deception on occasion.”

“And you think that will suffice in front of one of the most powerful wizards of all time? You could possess the talent of a thousand actresses and he would know your- and therefore my- deception with one glimpse into your foolish little head,” he was sneering now and Hermione folded her arms across her chest irritably.

“Look into my foolish head then, Professor,” she leveled her eyes on his and was not even the slightest surprised by his immediate onslaught.

“Legilimens.”

Her mental barriers were strong, stronger than she knew he would anticipate. She’d learned their fifth year that not all knowledge could come from books. In her attempts to help Harry learn Occlumency she needed to first learn the skill all on her own, only with proper training in Legilimency and Occlumency could she hope to make her often stubborn friend proficient enough to stop Voldemort’s invasions of his mind.

So, she’d done enough research to become talented enough in her own right to deserve to learn from a master. It was only after she had spent six months training herself that she sought out a master. She found one of the best, unassociated with the wizarding war in Britain. Eleanora Castle was an American witch with quick wit and more than enough credentials to suit Hermione’s goal. She wrote the older witch for the rest of the school-year, and then in the summer she’d requested that her parents send her to America to spend time with a cousin.

While there she’d trained day and night, learning not just Occlumency and Legilimency from Eleanora but also discovering a love of Arithmancy- which the witch was also a master of.  She’d been more than willing to teach Hermione everything she could in her short time in America and the younger witch had come back with enough skill to feel confident in her ability to survive the war.

Severus pulled back and Hermione watched him with a level gaze. She tried to keep her face soft, compassionate even, but she needed him to know that she was not to be underestimated.

“Now, it all comes down to whether you are willing to trust me, Severus. Are you?” the wizard settled into his chair across from hers. A pensive look on his face he brought his finger up to trace his lips, the familiar motion she understood to mean he was thinking.

“I cannot lie to him about this, Hermione, he will know,” he finally gave his response and she felt her face fall as she pulled herself back up into her chair. She curled her legs beneath her body and watched him for a moment. Her brow furrowed and as if a light went off behind her eyes she sparked with sudden realization.

“You say he understands you on a baser level, that he knows your wants and desires in a way that no other wizard or witch ever could, right? It’s like this for all of his followers, for everyone he encounters?” Severus gave a sharp nod and she had her answer.

Unfortunately, she didn’t have a chance to speak a word more before he was up and sweeping from the room. Notice he was going to do his rounds dropping from his lips before the door to his chambers slammed shut behind him.

Did this mean what she thought it meant?  
And if it did, how did she feel about it?


	20. XIX - Ambago

 

_*Ambago - Uncertainty, Confusion…*_

“You’re a thoughtless man, Severus Snape,” this was not the greeting he’d expected when he returned to his chambers. He had expected the girl to be ensconced in a book, or perhaps slipping off into sleep, though he knew it wouldn’t last long, she could fade off and on without his presence.

“I hope you plan to explain yourself, I hardly think it appropriate to verbally assault a tired wizard the moment he enters his own home,” he snarled. Looking over at her he realized almost belatedly that she was flushed bright in the candlelight, her cheeks red and her eyes red rimmed.

Her fingers in her lap were still tensing and spasming about in her lap and an immediate wave of something- not guilt, never guilt- washed over him. He cleared his throat and gave her a long look, her brow was furrowed but to be experiencing pain she looked quite at rest.

“You know exactly why I am _verbally assaulting_ you,” her tone dripped a venom he was certain he’d never heard from the witch. She stood and promptly stumbled forward, he reached to catch her but was stopped by a hand in held up in the universal motion for ‘stop’. She righted herself and he moved back to his position beside the door.

Was he hesitant to move further in his own chambers? He shouldn’t be, but of course when faced with a venom spitting witch it was easy to find oneself hesitating.

“You are thoughtless! You need to make a decision, now,” her hands settled on her hips, bony elbows poking out of the black sleep shirt that seemed to devour her slight frame. She was a faerie, a faerie confronting a looming black dragon. He didn’t feel like the dragon at the moment though. Her legs wobbled again and for all her tough bravado he could see she was absolutely exhausted.

So, exhausted she allowed him to catch her and pull her against him this time. Her forehead pressed into his collarbone and she groaned.

“It’s hard to be serious when you feel faint,” she groaned, her voice muffled in his voluminous robes and thick wool frockcoat. He pulled her up and swung her into his arms, hooking one under her knees and striding quickly to the chair she’d occupied when he’d entered.

“Perhaps you can be fierce sitting down, little dove,” he cocked an eyebrow at her as he settled her into the chair and knelt in front of her. His knees ached with the action, so much kneeling and scraping he did, it was a wonder he ever found himself on his feet.

This was different thought, he’d left her to suffer. He deserved this scraping.

“It’s incredibly difficult to be cross with you when you call me that,” she huffed, and looked up into his eyes. He could see her pain, her stress, how tired she was. This was not the face of a child staring into his. When though, when had she become a woman? How had he missed the transformation from annoying, swottish child to the fierce fae who stared him down now?

“I apologize for leaving you, knowing how long you have gone without contact.”

“That isn’t it,” she paused, little pink tongue flicking out to wet her lips, “or not all of it at least.”

His sharp gaze was questioning as he held his position in front of her. She sat forward, small hands clasping his shoulders as she brought her face closer to his. He held his breath, not wanting the sweetness of her own to invade his senses.

He did not need the temptation, not at all.

He only resisted the urge to pull away from her to keep her from toppling face first from the chair. She was weak, and he never wanted to cause her injury, even inadvertently.

“You realize that there was nothing subtle about storming from your chambers during a rather important conversation, do you not?” A prim eyebrow was raised, and she stared at his eyes closely, that soft whiskey color threatening to invade him.

“I haven’t the slightest what you are talking about, Ms. Granger.”

“Hermione, my name is Hermione,” her lips pursed. “You cannot hide behind my surname, Severus. You can’t make me a child again, no matter what you call me, and you know it.”

His eyes left hers, searching the room. What exactly was happening? What was she saying? She couldn’t possibly suspect- know- Merlin, he was screwed! His job, his honor! He didn’t care a galleon for his reputation, it was in the gutter either way- but he’d striven to be an honorable man, and honorable men did not take advantage of students!

He took her hands in his and removed them gently from his shoulders, placing them thoughtfully back in her lap.

“I believe you have come to the wrong conclusion, Ms. Granger,” his tone was cold and flat as ever. He was particularly proud of his ability to mask his feelings, to bury them. Even in this situation, staring into the face of temptation.

He pulled himself to a stand, his tall, lean figure loomed over her in the chair. She looked so small there, so fragile.

He would ruin her, break her, taint her. She was too good, too sweet.

“Perhaps we should find someone else to care for you,” he could feel her panic, the way her eyes widened, the tears that blurred on their edges.

He told himself he was doing the right thing, even as his throat filled with the largest knot of discomfort he’d ever felt.

“No…” her words were a rasp, a rasp that stalled his heart for a moment before she fainted. Whether from the exhaustion, or the shock of his admission it didn’t matter. He felt the familiar gnawing feeling, the one he’d felt when he’d found out it was Lily he’d betrayed to the Dark Lord. The very one he’d felt as he cradled her lifeless body to his chest and sobbed every tear he thought his body would ever produce.

Now as he checked her pulse and found her alive he realized he was a very, very foolish man. With a very, very foolish tendency toward giving himself to Gryffindors.

_SSHG_

Hermione woke in a fog of confusion to light streaming through a window and onto her face. She blinked, and stopped herself from moving for a moment as she attempted a swallow. Her mouth was dry, almost painfully so and she let out a little croaking sound. It was pathetic.

She felt pathetic.

Had she really fainted because Severus Snape had denied her accusations? Had she truly been so weak as to lose herself over her git of a potions professor.

“You are awake, I see,” his familiar voice reached her and she took a breath, nodding and keeping her back to him. She heard the shifting of fabric, his robes as he moved about the room on her other side. The window was one that he’d put there for her, an enchantment for her comfort.

She hated that window in the moment, hated it and everything about it. An arm snaked out of the covers and she grasped her wand on the bedside table. “Expungo,” she whispered in her cracking voice and the window vanished, the light along with it.

“Hermione,” he spoke softly as her wand clattered to the bedside table. Her spine tensed even in her prone position.

“I apologize sir but that is a name reserved for only those closest to me. Ms. Granger will be fine.” She heard the stilling of fabric, the soft murmur of his breath. He was close, how close she didn’t care to know. “Just leave me, give me some privacy, won’t you?”

He left, she wasn’t sure if it was the desperation in her voice, or the fact that he really didn’t care.

She swiped angrily at the tears that inched their way down her cheeks and pressed a fist to her lips to stifle a sob. It didn’t matter, he was only her professor, nothing more.

But why did it have to feel like she was losing something vital?


	21. XX - Conatus

 

* _Conatus - Endeavor, Attempt, Effort…_ *

“What will you do when you no longer have me to sort out your problems?” Severus scowled at the woman sitting across from him. Her eyes flashed her amusement as she cocked a silvered eyebrow.

“I suppose I shall find out in one hundred years, now tell me what to do,” he hissed, he hadn’t so much as sipped his whiskey. Instead the delicate glass tumbler dangled from his fingertips over the edge of his chair. The slender digits clasped the rim from above with delicacy.

“You told her that you were going to push her off on someone else, what makes you think there is even a chance she will forgive you?” That silver eyebrow rose and Severus sneered at his longtime friend. “You can’t tell me you failed to realize what you were implying when you told her this,” Rolanda watched him impetuously, only serving to further his irritation with her, with himself.

Hermione hadn’t spoken to him for a week, no matter what he did. She spent all of her time locked away with her friends, Potter and Weasley, or Draco in the chambers she’d once shared with him. Now she seemed as a ghost.

She was never there. He couldn’t be certain what she was passing off the fits as, or if she simply hid herself away when she felt one coming, but she must be suffering. The seemingly permanent knot in his throat tightened, she wouldn’t speak to him, barely spared him a glance, didn’t answer questions or speak in class. Upon consulting her other professors, they were seeing much the same behavior in her other classes, behavior that made him concerned.

Him. Concerned. It was ridiculous, but it was true.

“She thought I was going to hand her over to a death eater, someone terrible, perhaps even the Dark Lord himself,” Rolanda nodded and motioned to his tumbler.

“Drink, you’re going to need a bit of liquid motivation to hear what I’m going to say and then do it,” he pressed the cold rim of the tumbler to thin lips and drank the entirety of the shimmering liquid that so resembled her eyes in one go.

“What do I need to do?”

“Try, Severus, you’re going to need to give the girl some effort to earn her forgiveness. You can start by telling her you were wrong and that you would never hand her over to someone evil. I have no doubt the girl will make you work for it, Gryffindors are notoriously stubborn headed,” Severus snorted a short, derisive laugh. It was true, Gryffindors were as stubborn headed as they came, and Hermione Granger was all Gryffindor.

_SSHG_

A gasp of surprise broke from Hermione’s lips despite her effort to restrain it as the door to the ingredients closet closed and she was thrust into darkness.

Her potions class had just ended and she had waited until all of the other students were done packing away her things before she moved to return her ingredients, sending Harry and Ron on their way to lunch as she ducked into the familiar, small cupboard. She knew he was there, behind her, standing in front of the door and holding her there.

She’d been avoiding him for the better part of the week and she was weak and exhausted from her time spent not sleeping, the fits had gotten more frequent, and painful.

“Hermione,” his voice trailed, and she settled the jar she’d been holding on the shelf in front of her. Her forehead pressed into the cool wood of the shelf just in front of it and she exhaled a sigh.

“I thought I was clear,” her voice cracked despite herself. He was closer now, she could feel the warmth that he seemed to radiate, no matter how cold it may be in the dungeons, on her back. “I’ve rescinded the invitation to call me by my given name.”

She moved to turn but he stopped her by catching her hands in his and pressing them into the shelf that her forehead had been resting on. His fingers wove between her own and she could feel his breath breezing across the top of her head.

“Listen to me,” his voice was low, demanding. Hermione paused, her breath halting in her chest. “I was wrong, witch, is that what you wish to hear?” his breath was falling across her ear now, his chin pressing into her shoulder as he stooped around her. He held her hands still, his fingers twined with hers. He kept his body a suitable distance from hers, but he might as well have been on top of her for how it felt.

“Is that what you believe I wish to hear?” came her hoarse response, her voice had been lost the night before, she was lucky it cooperated now.

“I will ruin your life, girl, certainly you can understand that? I will tangle you in a web of my own creation, the web I have trapped myself in and you will be fodder for the larger spiders at my side,” he paused and she couldn’t be certain, but she thought he may be breathing in the smell of her hair. His breaths were deep, almost sensual in the way he drew them out. “I would never give you to another, could never allow someone else to bring you comfort.”

His forehead was on her shoulder now, his fingers still clinging to hers.

“Anyone dark enough to ease the pain would not provide me comfort, Professor,” he groaned.

“Severus, to you I am Severus, always.”

“Except when you wish to push me away,” she bit back, her mind was reeling, racing, and in utter turmoil as he held her there. Trapped as she was between his body and the shelf she could smell the strong scents that wafted from him. Wood smoke, a hint of whiskey on his breath, the spice of herbs and musk of potions.

“How shall I prove to you I am truly remorseful, that I have no desire to pass you off to another? I am a selfish man, Hermione, and you have been in my grasp for far too long to be released now. My little dove,” the last was a soft whisper, his mouth caressed the words and made a chill race down her spine, little prickles of gooseflesh rose on the back of her neck and arms.

“Show me, show me how much remorse you feel,” her voice was challenging despite her skittering nerves and he raised his head, returning his chin to her shoulder.

“Resume your place in our bed, in my chambers, and I will do all I can to show you in all the ways I know,” silk strands of black hair tickled the side of her face and she turned her head slightly. Their breaths mingled, and she found herself breathing in his air, it dizzied her slightly. “May I begin by providing you the comfort you have denied yourself?”

She could only nod as his fingers left hers and smoothed the length of her arms to wrap around her and he pulled her back into his chest. He was warm, and she could feel the soothing affect his magic had on her curse almost immediately. She breathed a sigh of relief and let her eyes close for a long moment.

“There’s a girl, everything will be well, little dove, I assure you.”

_SSHG_

Severus hadn’t meant to all but assault the girl. Really, he hadn’t, but seeing his opportunity to catch her alone, to speak with her in private he’d been unable to resist.

His intention had never been to put his hands on her, to let himself press so close to her. Still, her small form in his arms felt so right, the way she pressed against his chest. The soft breaths as she slipped into what he hoped was the sense of comfort that he felt when he pulled her to him.

He knew it for what it was, a moment of weakness on both their parts and still he didn’t want to break the contact. He couldn’t imagine releasing her, not yet, not when they were hidden away in the privacy of his storage cupboard.

“I need to go to lunch, the boys will be looking for me,” she finally whispered after several minutes spent standing there, holding her. He knew she was right, that their time was drawing to a close.

“I will see you this evening?” He lingered close to the side of her face, still unwilling to release her from his arms until he had confirmation, confirmation that he was, if not forgiven, at least on the path to forgiveness.

“I will come directly after dinner,” she confirmed, and he knew then he was moving in the right direction. She was giving him a chance. It was all he needed.

The knot in his throat finally loosened as he released her and took a step back. She didn’t turn to face him and he thought it appropriate. He had no desire to look into her eyes, to see if she held even a shred of doubt in him.

He left without another word, vanishing into his office before she could find her way out of the cupboard.


	22. XXI - Praeclarus

 

 _* Praeclarus - Striking, Beautiful, Splendid…_ *

“Won’t you even consider just growing it to your shoulders? Ginny has a potion for it, ‘Mione,” Hermione fought her overwhelming desire to scowl at Ron from across the Gryffindor table. The great hall was loud, louder than she could recall it ever having been and it did nothing to help her nerves. She was nervous what would await her when she went to Severus’ chambers. Her fingers caught in the short curls on top of her head.

Ron had been the reason she’d left her hair long, he was always cooing over girls with long hair. She’d only wanted him to notice her. Now she didn’t much care either way what kind of hair he liked. Ginny and Harry had gone off for a private conversation and unfortunately left her to Ron’s mercy.

“I like it short, Ron, and how many times must I tell you not to call me that?”

“I think it’s cute,” he slurred through a mouth full of food before swallowing and settling a vial of potion on the table. Hermione gave the vial a cautious look and brought her eyes back to Ron. “Just take it, your hair will grow fast, and it will look better. Honestly ‘Mione, you look ugly with your hair like that. Like a boy.”

She couldn’t be certain if it was the fatigue, or the pain she could feel creeping into her joints but she snatched up the vial and drank it down in one gulp.

“Happy?” she huffed and stood, slamming the vial down. As she turned to go she caught the very dark gaze of Severus staring down at her.

Oh, she’d definitely made a mistake taking an unknown potion while he observed. He would no doubt be ready to obliterate her when she made it to his rooms.

So much for repairing their strained relationship.

_SSHG_

Hermione sat, her fingers clutching at the long tendrils of hair that now flowed well past her bum in thick, heavy curls. The tug and weight on her scalp was frustrating to say the least and as she stared at the thick caramel locks she found herself sobbing.

How could she pretend to be someone she wasn’t anymore? To be infatuated with Ron and want to please him, how could she make herself play the part?

She didn’t want him anymore, and if she was honest with herself she hadn’t wanted him for a long time. He was a chauvinist, hadn’t he shown her that on more than one occasion? Merlin, just before he’d told her she looked like a boy because she’d cut her hair off!

“You drank a potion without so much as verifying the contents, Hermione,” she started at the voice looming over her and her eyes shot up to the shadowed face of Severus Snape. She couldn’t read anything there, not a glimmer of what he was thinking or feeling but his words said it all.

“It was a hair growth potion.”

“I am not blind, but without a thought you swallowed it, without a thought,” his tone was clipped and she stared up into his face, she wasn’t surprised by this reaction. In fact she’d expected it just after she’d swallowed the bloody thing. “I had a mind to take you over my knee.”

She looked down but a firm grasp on her chin, not painful but not comfortable, tugged her face back up so that her eyes could meet his.

“Ron wouldn’t hurt me.”

“Perhaps not with a potion, I can see his words have done a fair job regardless,” obsidian eyes bore into hers and she sniffed. He crouched to move closer to her and she was suddenly aware of how hot her face was, how red it must be.

“I don’t care about him anymore,” she wasn’t sure why she felt the need to defend herself, but she did.

“And still you took the potion.”

“I was nearing a fit, exhausted, tired of fighting him about it,” she admitted, holding his gaze now without need of his insistence. His fingers pulled through the too-thick, too-long locks and he made an odd sound in the back of his throat.

His wand was in his hand before she could say a word about it and he was staring her in the eyes again. His fingers still tangled in the long caramel curls.

“I preferred to see your face,” he brought his wand up and murmured a cutting spell softly, a heavy slice of the hair fell away and to the floor of the little alcove she’d hidden herself away in. His hand released the hair he held and came up to caress the now chin length strands. She could feel the difference in the tug on her scalp immediately. “You are beautiful Hermione, hair or no.”

As she stared at him he cut away all of her hair to chin length, she didn’t even look away when an elf appeared to take the hair away with it.

The dark wizard that held her rapt attention tucked his wand away in a smooth motion and brought both hands up to rest on either side of her neck. His fingertips on her nape while his thumbs trailed the top of either side of her collarbone.

“You have a long, elegant neck, little dove,” he paused in his caress and his eyes seemed to burn straight through her. She found herself struggling to breathe. She certainly wouldn’t be speaking any time soon. “You are far too beautiful to hide behind so many layers of hair. It is a lesser man, a boy who cannot see beauty when it is sitting right in front of him,” one of his hands slipped up to caress her jaw and a little breath burst from her lips.

She felt dizzy, the same sensation rocketing through her that she’d felt in the potions cupboard earlier that same day. It was the wizard, she knew it was, there was something about him that made her mind fuzzy and her stomach flutter.

“Severus,” she exhaled, her voice strange to her ears. Obsidian eyes flicked to her lips and back up to her eyes. “Kiss me,” she requested softly, desperately, the words like a prayer from her lips and she saw his eyes flash. If black could darken she certainly thought it had in that moment.

He didn’t wait for a second invitation. Instead he kissed her, his lips feather soft against the corner of her mouth before meeting it again in the center. He drew away before she had a chance to register the softest of kisses, and then returned again for an equally soft kiss, repeating the process and lingering a bit longer each time over and over.

She breathed in his breath, she could taste the scent of him on her tongue and feel his warmth seeping into her very bones. He continued to kiss her, lightly, softly, reverently. As if he were paying homage to something far more precious that she would have ever thought herself, and she reveled in it.

When he finally, yet all too soon, ceased his lovely little kisses she groaned and opened her eyes to find him staring directly at her. His face was intensity itself, she could feel herself burning as he stared right down into her eyes.

“Bed, I believe you have had enough for one day,” he instructed as he stood and pulled her up by her hands clasped in his. She swayed slightly and he helped to right her before turning and leading her into the dungeons.

“What about Harry and Ron?” she asked when she finally regained her senses, her lips still tingling from his kisses and he cocked an eyebrow at her.

“I am certain they will not miss you, Hermione.”

“No, I mean, they’ll notice I haven’t come back to Gryffindor tower,” she clarified, stopping in the hall and staring up at him. She could feel the soft waves of her hair sliding around her head, long enough to feel but short enough to be comfortable.

“I will expect you as soon you enter your chambers,” looking into his face she knew this was not a request and gave a gentle nod.

“I’ll come as soon as I can, I imagine Ron will want an explanation about this,” she motioned to her hair and the deep sneer that came across his face did not go unnoticed.

“I would gladly deal with the boy for you, unfortunately this is your own battle,” he stepped closer, but she realized he kept a proprietary distance. No one would suspect a deeper involvement between them than that of student and Professor. This was certainly the way it needed to stay, at least for the moment. “Remember, dove, you are beautiful, no matter what the reprehensible toad says.”

Hermione couldn’t help herself, she burst out in a sharp laugh and tipped her head forward in her attempt to stifle the sound that ricocheted off the walls. “I will forever,” she heaved a breath, “treasure you saying those words.”

He glared as her laughter died and she shook her head, turning on her heel to walk away from him and toward Gryffindor tower. He cleared his throat and she glanced over her shoulder to catch his eye.

 He didn’t need to speak a word, she knew exactly what he was attempting to convey in a look and a chill ran down her spine. He was serious, she needed to make her way to his chambers as quickly as possible.

Her nod in his direction before she turned and scurried away didn’t seem to appease him at all. She wondered, not for the first time, how she’d come to be so infatuated with such a taciturn wizard.


	23. XXII - Saevus

 

_* Saevus - Cruel, Violent, Severe… *_

Entering the common room, she was happy to find it empty, save for a few of the older students sitting around with large tomes in front of them and scrolls of parchment being busily filled. She wanted to be doing the same, powering through her homework assignments and studying well into the early morning hours without another care in the world.

“There you are ‘Mione!” she screeched her shock, earning amused glances from studying Gryffindors, as arms wrapped around her middle and tugged her back against a hard chest. As her heartrate settled and she realized she was in no immediate danger she forced her muscles to loosen and shook her head.

“What do you think you are doing, Ronald?” she hissed and swatted his hands away from her middle. He made an annoyed groaning sound and released her to turn and face him. Her eyes shot immediately to his to find he looked not at all remorseful.

She just wanted to sleep, was that really so much to ask? Apparently now it was.

“Geeze, ‘Mione, no need to get violent with me,” he rubbed the back of one of his hands and she shook her head, short locks flew around her face. “You cut it again,” he grasped a short curl between two fingers, blue eyes narrowed.

“I don’t want long hair, Ron, and really it looks better like this,” she glanced to the stairs. So close, she was so close to her private dorm.

The redhead’s face darkened, “It’s someone else, isn’t it? You found someone who fancies girls with short hair,” the accusation was sharp. So sharp Hermione nearly recoiled at the tone of his voice. She took a step back, but he grasped her arm and held fast, fingertips biting into her skin.

“Ron, I’m not seeing anyone, _no one_ ,” and that included him, “you’re hurting me, let me go,” she tugged against him, but he continued to hold onto her with a vicelike grip.

Instead of releasing her, the boy she’d fancied herself in love with for the better part of four years tugged her against his chest roughly. Before she could so much as protest his lips were on hers and his tongue was pressing insistently into her mouth. Hermione felt herself flush immediately with rage, his teeth knocked against hers clumsily and he was all but slobbering all over her face. This was not how she’d envisioned such a moment at all.

Growling her irritation into his mouth she did the one thing her father had always told her to do and brought her knee up, directly into Ron’s groin. She didn’t stop to look at him or think about him when he jerked back in pain. Instead she bolted for the stairs and rushed up them two at time, slamming her way into her private dorm as soon as she made it to the door.

Her chest heaved as she leant back against the door and, when she finally managed to make her legs cooperate, she made a bee-line for the floo. She found herself happy for the first time that Dumbledore had insisted she have a direct line to Severus’ quarters. Tossing a handful that was probably more than she really needed into the fireplace she stepped in and announced her destination with confidence that did not match her shaking limbs.

When she stumbled out in a cloud of soot Severus was there, waiting for her.

His face turned from annoyed to concerned in the space of a heartbeat and she wasn’t sure she’d ever seen him show so much emotion at once. He moved towards her quickly and she couldn’t stop the impulse to flinch back, she managed not to take a step away though as he closed the distance much more slowly and brought a hand up to her cheek.

She realized she was crying rather belatedly and lay her head against his fingers. His palm pressed against her jawline and she wet her lips, they were tender from the intensity of Ron’s assault.

“Hermione, what happened when you returned to your common room?” The questioned was posed in a tone cold as ice. Obsidian eyes flashed something dangerous and she closed her own as her body shifted closer to his. Just a bit more and she could lean against his chest.

She really wanted to lean against that chest, warm and broad, comfortable. When had he become her definition of comfortable?

“Ron grabbed me, he accused me of finding a boy who likes short hair, he kissed me,” her eyes were still closed, and she couldn’t see his response to her succinct telling of the events. It sounded silly that she should be so upset when put that way.

“You’ve certainly not found a boy, that a fool such as he dared to lay hands on you…” Severus trailed, and Hermione gave in to her desire to press against his chest. His arms hooked around her, one hand buried in her hair while the other pressed palm flat into the soft curve of her back. She sighed her relief and inhaled the familiar scent of him as it wove around her.

“Your kisses were much better,” a chuckle vibrated the chest against her face and she smiled sleepily into the fabric of his frockcoat. She stifled a yawn and didn’t bother to protest when she was pulled up into sturdy arms.

“You require rest, little dove, in the morning we will discuss this event further,” his lips pressed softly against her forehead and she was gone, lost to the bliss of sleep.

_SSHG_

“Malfoy,” Harry greeted with an annoyed look on his face.

“Potter,” Draco’s expression was hardly as irritable as he leant back against the stone wall of the dungeons. “What are you doing down here on such a find evening?” the blonde cocked an eyebrow at the raven-haired wizard who sucked in a deep breath.

“Where is Hermione? I thought she would be with you,” he was controlling his urge for a tirade, but just barely. Draco smirked.

“Why ever would she be with me, Potter?” his tone was deep and spoke a decadence that Harry didn’t even want to consider. He ignored the chill bumps that crawled up and down his arms, it was only the cold dungeons.

“I have no idea, she seems to think you are her friend. I think you’re trying to get in her knickers.”

The laugh that ricocheted through the hall was sharp and Harry watched the blonde with wide green eyes. His head was thrown back in his laughter, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. It took him a second to realize he was seeing the other man for the first time, seeing how beautiful he was with his blonde hair falling silkily, his pale skin glinting in the torch light.

Harry shook himself. These were not thoughts conducive to finding Hermione. Or anything healthy for that matter.

“What’s so funny?” Harry glared, covering his awe with irritation. Malfoy turned gleaming grey eyes back on him and smirked.

“Firstly, Hermione is my friend because she is kind and compassionate beyond reason,” his voice was serious, and Harry really hadn’t expected that. He watched as the blonde’s face took on a more serious pose as well, his hands stuffed into his trouser pockets. “Hermione would tell you I’d not sleep with her because I don’t prefer women, and while she’s half right, I’d never sleep with her, it isn’t because of my preferences. Though, I suppose she’s really quite right in that department as well. I would never, could never participate in any activities like that with the Gryffindor Princess, she belongs entirely to another.”

Reaching forward Draco snapped Harry’s mouth shut and turned to walk away, he paused in the corridor to toss the dark-haired man a look over his shoulder. “I’m not sure how you know she’s down here but, she has her own private room here, in case she needs an escape from Gryffindor.”

As he walked away Draco was pleased with this excuse. He would alert Severus and Hermione that Potter was on to something in the morning. He was tired and honestly being so close to the boy-who-lived got his blood churning, he needed a cold shower before he retired.

_SSHG_

Hermione rolled in arms that held her firm and pressed her face against the chest that had been pressed to her back all night. Severus huffed something tiredly as her eyes fluttered open to find a black shirt filling her vision and pulled back enough to see the pale jaw-line that loomed above her head.

Severus was not a handsome man, at least, not in the traditional sense of what made a man handsome. His cheekbones were too high, his nose too large, his hair too stringy, his teeth too crooked, but to Hermione he really was quite handsome. His eyes were dark, black as night, and his voice was silk when needed, and stone when necessary. He was tall, especially when compared to her, and lean with firm muscle that covered the length of his slim body. He was cat like in his grace, a panther that prowled the school. She also had to admit that his billowing robes did something to her thought process.

She had an idea that a lot of his appearance was purposeful, that he could wear his hair clean and shiny, that he knew how to wield his voice for good instead of evil. He needed this persona however to survive the life he lived, the life of a spy, and she understood that as well.

She turned her face back up to find obsidian eyes locked on her and she smiled faintly, happy her lips were no longer sore. Hermione pressed the flat of her palm against his chest and felt his heartbeat beneath her hand. It sped at the touch and she wet her lips thoughtlessly.

“I believe more kisses are in order,” her request was soft, her voice quiet in the silence of their shared room and his sleep heavy eyes narrowed on the lower half of her face. She smiled when he brought his lips down to hers and pressed them ever so gently to their center. He followed with another of those small sweeping kisses, and another, until his lips lingered over hers for along moment and she felt the tip of his tongue sweet the seam of her lips.

A sigh broke her mouth open and his tongue swept into her mouth. His body rolled so he hovered with his upper body over her, though his legs remained firmly on his side of the bed, and he grasped the sides of her head in his hands. He tilted her face where he wanted it, fingers buried in her hair and lips working hers as his tongue explored her mouth and pressed against her own.

Her nerve endings were zinging, her mind soaring well above her body as she allowed herself to be lost in his kiss. This, this was how she had envisioned that kiss with Ron, this was how she knew her first full on snog should feel and she was delighted by not only the sensations but that it was this man who was giving them to her.

When he eased their kiss, pulling back and opening his eyes to look into hers as they fluttered open she smiled up at him brilliantly and pressed forward to lay a little peck on his lips.

“The lady is pleased I hope,” he smirked, and she knew he was fully aware of just how pleased she was.

“Incredibly,” she pressed her fingertips to her lips thoughtlessly while her other hand came up to push the hair back from his face. Her fingers lingered on his stubbled cheek as they caressed one of those two high cheekbones. “I don’t want to go back out there.”

A knock on the door broke the two apart and Severus groaned as he pulled himself upright in the bed. Hermione huffed and followed suit, realizing she was still in her clothes from the day before, minus her shoes and robes. She smiled to herself, he really did respect her more than she ever would have anticipated.

“Draco,” Severus grunted, knowing the only person who would enter his chambers as six in the morning had to be his godson. Hermione laughed softly to herself as she vanished into the loo to shower and dress. Severus flicked his wand to open the door and she cast a sound enhancing charm, so she could her them speak over the water running in the shower.

She heard Draco enter, a decidedly Slytherin conversation between them that subtly alluded to the fact that Draco would surely meet an untimely demise if he ever interrupted Severus and Hermione in the morning again.

“Get on with what you have to say, boy,” she heard Severus growl irritably and she almost laughed to herself, she stifled it so she could continue to listen in.

“Potter was in the dungeons last night, just thought you should know,” Draco’s voice was casual, and she shook her head, of course, the map.

Harry would have come looking for her when he found her out of her dorm on the map, most likely after Ron told him an altered version of what happened.

“And what did you tell the boy-who-lived-to-annoy-me?” she didn’t have to see Severus to know that he had an eyebrow cocked nearly to his hairline. She brushed shampoo through her hair and hummed to herself in pleasure, a good night’s sleep could work wonders on a girl’s mood.

“I told him she had her own private room down here in case she needed to escape the idiot Gryffindors, he accused me of attempting to get into her knickers,” she could hear Draco’s sarcastic sneer followed by Severus’ growl of distaste.

Shampoo and conditioner rinsed she slipped from the shower and dried quickly before dressing in a new pair of clothes. She opened the door to lean against the frame and smirk at Draco behind Severus’ back.

“Don’t worry, I informed him in no uncertain terms that she belongs to another,” his eyes were dead level with hers, despite the fact he was talking to Severus.

“You’d do well not to forget it, I have a Weasley to deal with, at present,” his voice was venomous, and Hermione shook her head. He couldn’t lay claim to her, she was a student still, no matter her age, and he’d not yet officially discussed the prospect of a relationship with her yet.

“Told him you’re as gay as they come as well, didn’t you?” Hermione finally took a moment to speak up and Severus turned his head to look at her over his shoulder, his black eyes flared at the sight of her before he turned back to his godson. She wondered how many people he would suffer standing at his back. She imagined their numbers were few.

“Not in so many words,” the blonde smirked, “well, now I’ve delivered my message I’ll leave you to it. See you at breakfast, Hermione?” She nodded her ascent and watched as he left before Severus turned to face her.

“Though we have not discussed a formal relationship you do belong to me, Hermione. You’d do well not to forget it. As for Weasley he will not survive another assault on your person.” Hermione narrowed her eyes at him.

“I thought you had to look into someone’s eyes to read their mind.”

“There are a great many things you think and assume incorrectly,” he smirked as he stood and walked towards her, she stood up right in the doorway as his hands grasped her hips and pulled her forward just enough.

When he dipped to take her lips it was a slow, drawn out kiss that had her cooing into his mouth and he smirked again when he withdrew. “You taste divine, little dove, now, off to breakfast with you,” he released her, and she moved out of the way just as the door closed and the shower turned on in the loo.

Laughing to herself Hermione shook her head. He was something else, her snarky potions master.


	24. XXIII - Odium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should be doing work, for y'know, college, but...Oh Well!

 

_* Odium - Hatred, Hate, Spite… *_

Hermione watched Ron, who was glaring at her from across the room. She sat with Draco who was staring between them curiously and Harry who was busy trying to steal surreptitious glances at Draco. She turned abruptly to see Harry staring at Draco and smirked to herself. She was trying to ignore the glare of Ron’s stare burning into the side of her head, and just when she thought she wouldn’t be able to stand it anymore the stare was removed by the looming figure of someone standing over her.

“Ms. Granger, I require a word,” Severus cast a glare at Harry who glared back with equal adamancy. Draco stifled a laugh behind his hand, faking a rather elaborate cough before going back to the work he was meant to be doing. She hadn’t signed up for the study hall hosted by Severus Snape, instead she had simply been thrust into it, along with Harry, Ron, Draco, and several other Slytherins. Their study halls were kept small so that all students had a chance to speak with the professor on duty, not that anyone ever asked Snape to come over and offer them help.

“Yes sir,” she spoke a little belatedly and stood from her seat, casting a look at Harry who was once more stealing glances at Draco, she was forgotten. Ron’s glare burned into her back as she was lead from the small copse of tables to the desk at the front of the room. It was shared by rotating professors and thus held nothing but a sheaf of parchments and an unused inkwell.

“That boy is glaring holes through you, what exactly did you do to him last evening?” the dark wizard cocked an eyebrow at her and she shook her head with a shrug.

“I kneed him in the groin, my father told me it was the best way to avoid unwanted advances,” she could see the laughter sparkling in his eyes as he nodded his head.

“Your father is a wise man, I approve entirely. If he brings about any more trouble for you I politely request you alert me with haste,” Hermione nodded and cast a glance in Ron’s direction, he was still glaring at her, but he looked satisfied to be thinking she was in hot water with Severus. She turned her gaze back to the wizard who had turned his head to stare at Ron. She turned back, and the redhead had blanched and immediately looked away.

“He hates me now,” she whispered, looking to the floor and Severus twitched like he wanted to touch her but didn’t move. “I need to go back to my table.”

“Go, I wish to see you during your lunch break.”

“Yes sir,” she gave him a coy smile before turning and sashaying her way back to the table she was sharing with Draco and Harry- who were staring at one another.

_SSHG_

“Hey! Hermione! Wait a second!” Hermione stopped her walk toward Severus’ office to turn and face a panting Ron Weasley. “I need to talk to you.”

Hermione shook her head, _I’ll bet you do._ “What is it Ronald?” She took on the haughtiest air she could manage, turning her petite nose up for effect.

“Look, I’m really sorry I got jealous and I just, well I thought we had something really special but, you’re changing.” His hand was on her, gripping her upper arm loosely. He gave her a lopsided grin that might have melted her heart once upon a time and let his thumb caress little circles on her upper arm.

Hermione immediately felt as though she was wronging Severus by allowing the touch and pulled back abruptly, surprising the redhead into letting her go. “You’re right, Ron, I have changed,” she was aware she was chewing her lip now as she stared up into his face. She was two years his elder in age and mature beyond anything he could fathom. He wasn’t right for her, and with a little introspection she realized he never would be.

He didn’t challenge her, he didn’t value her- more than one values a thing they feel they possess, at least.

“It never would have worked between us, we just aren’t compatible.” His cheeks darkened to a deep crimson, his ears turned bright red and Hermione nervously took a step back. It was well known Ron had a temper, and hated rejection. Still, she never felt threatened by him, at least not until he’d shoved his tongue down her throat. That incident had forced her to reevaluate her trust and where it belonged.

“And who _are_ _you_ compatible with?”

“Oy, Ron, that’s no way to talk to our best friend!” Harry jogged onto the scene just in the nick of time, Hermione couldn’t help but flash him a grateful look as she turned back to Ron.

“I really am sorry, Ron.”

“She’s no best friend of mine. She’s just a disgusting…” he trailed, his face dark, “She’s just a disgusting _mudblood_.”

Harry and Hermione’s mouths gaped in sync, Hermione was in the dead center of forcing back tears when a familiar voice floated over her head. “I believe, Mr. Weasley, that you have just earned yourself a week’s detention with Mr. Filch. That will also be ten points from Gryffindor for using such a word against one of your own.”

She wanted to sink back into his chest. More than anything she craved his touch and when he placed a hand on her shoulder from behind she nearly crooned in delight.

“Ms. Granger, this dallying is not acceptable. You were expected in my office fifteen minutes ago.”

Ron was glaring hatefully at her when she turned to look up at the man with his hand on her shoulder. His touch chasing a strange sort of comfort through her that she hadn’t often experienced.

“Yes sir, I apologize, I was held up.” She turned to Harry and gave him a soft smile, “I’ll catch up with you later, Harry. I need to talk to Professor Snape about a project.”

Ron looked between them, scrutiny on his face as Severus’ hand fell away from her shoulder. Before anything more could be said Harry was agreeing and tugging Ron away, hissing in low tones to his friend about how terrible he was and how he couldn’t just go around saying things he didn’t mean when he was angry.

Hermione turned and followed Severus, and his billowing robes down the hall and towards the stairs that would take them to his chambers.

They didn’t make it nearly as far before the wizard turned and grasped her. Large hands held her tight and tugged her into his chest, his arms going around her immediately as she let out a quaking sigh.

“That was very brave of you, little dove. I half thought you would strike the imbecile.”

“I almost did.” Hermione’s voice was muffled in his frockcoat but the chuckle that shook his chest still made her stomach clench.

“We must continue to my office, I simply wished to assess your mental state sooner rather than later.” He spoke into her hair and pressed a soft little kiss into the top of her head.

“He’s a complete prat, but he always has been. His feelings are hurt, he’s never taken rejection well.” She pulled back and Severus moved to stand behind her. His hand fell to her lower back as he began to guide her toward his office.

“No excuse, he will suffer for this transgression. That is a filthy word that should be wiped from the vocabulary of every witch and wizard.”

“How do you trick him into believing you agree with him? You’re so adamant…” They stepped into his office and the heavy oak door snapped shut behind him. With his back to her he stared into the fireplace, the fire lit from his time spent waiting for her arrival.

“Hermione- you- you cannot get the wrong impression love, I would kill that boy for calling you such a despicable name. That said, in his presence, in my place at his side- I have done so much worse, witch, you must know the things I’ve done, the pain I’ve inflicted.” The smaller witch came up behind him and pressed her forehead into the space between his shoulder blades, she could feel the bones of his spine even through his frockcoat and robes and forced herself not to sigh.

Her arms wove around him, pressing beneath his own. Her fingers twined together on his stomach and she could feel his breathing, every inhale raising his back, filling his chest, the exhale depressing them.

“Did you want to?”

“Pardon?” His voice was puzzled, he sounded far away, as if he were in another world.

“Did you want to do those things, to hurt those people?” She reiterated the question, turning so her cheek pressed into his spine.

She heard his swallow, “In the beginning, yes.” He spun in place then, deep obsidian eyes burning into hers.

“I must be honest with you, sweet girl,” his hand came up to caress her cheek as her arms fell away and she gazed up at him.

“Yes, honest, please, always tell me the truth.”

“I was angry, I was a hurt, angry, broken child when I joined him, when I took the mark. I wanted to cause suffering- I had suffered, why shouldn’t others? My father had beaten me my entire life, my mother was dead- by my father’s hand.  I’d lost my only friend,” he pressed a finger to her lips when they opened to question him, “a story for another time, little one, we are not afforded nearly enough lunch for that story.”

Hermione nodded, urging him on even as she pressed in closer and lay her head against his chest. She loved listening to his heartbeat. She wasn’t sure when it had become a familiar sound, but it was, and it was as if it had never been foreign to her.

“I wanted others to suffer, and so I gave them that suffering. I thought it would make me feel powerful, that I would never feel weak again. Instead I was left hollow, empty, and so very jaded. I fought for my rank with the Dark Lord, I killed, and tortured, and maimed, and then- well- we will just say certain events changed my mind, and my path.” He kissed the top of her head, his fingers clutched her, buried in the hair on the back of her head.

“I begged Dumbledore, I made a deal with him, sold my soul to him, as it were. I realized there was so much more than just that one person to fight for, that the world was so much larger than I was. I learned that causing that pain, it hadn’t brought me pleasure, it had simply given a distraction.” He paused, and Hermione smoothed her hands up and down his back, an attempt to be reassuring. She didn’t have a lot of experience with physical affection outside of friends and family but Merlin she wanted to comfort him so badly.

“These are things, facts you must know if you insist on playing the role of spy, if you insist on coming to his ranks. This is what I wanted to discuss with you- Hermione, I cannot lose you. I will not survive your death should the Dark Lord decide you are disposable,” she pulled back to look up at him, curiosity burned through her. “Lucius is working toward a rather convincing story. The Selwyn family- one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight, lost a daughter, and granddaughter during the first wizarding war.”

Hermione didn’t even manage to register the idea he was posing, her mind was entirely stuck on the name Lucius.

“Lucius, as in Lucius Malfoy? As in Mister Malfoy? Draco’s father?” Her brow was furrowed and her stomach churned, how could he tell someone so- so- despicable of their plans!? How could he let someone so untrustworthy in?!

“Hermione, calm yourself.” He held her back at arms length for a moment, his face lowering so his eyes were level with her own. “Lucius is not what you think, just as I have never been what you think. His conversion is much more recent, but the threat on his family- and the loss of his wife has been a sharp reminder of all he is risking on the Dark Lord’s side. Now, if I may continue?” He cocked an eyebrow at her, Hermione lowered her eyes with a nod.

“I’m sorry, Severus, I should know better than to jump to conclusions.”

“He’s been nothing but cruel to you, I had expected more hexing and less talking.” He was smirking when she looked up at him and her stomach fluttered.

“We intend to set you in place as the lost granddaughter of the Selwyn family, this will give you place and precedence in his circle. This will make your blood invaluable. This will make you safe.”

“And if I don’t want to pretend to be a pureblood?” Hermione knew she didn’t imagine the growl he emitted.

“No choice, you either play pureblood or all association between the two of us ends, immediately.” His tone was so final, so finite that Hermione bit down on her lip and forced herself not to speak another word.

“And how did I end up with a muggle family?” His posture slackened at this and Hermione felt worlds better.

He was doing this for her, to keep her alive, she wanted to be a spy. He was giving her the chance to work at his side.

She could do this.

“Simple, when Solanna was lost in the wizarding war you were picked up as a babe by muggle authorities, from there it is easy to lose a child, there was nothing accurate at all about the record keeping in muggle orphanages in those days.” She nodded, taking in all of this information.

“Will I have to meet with them? Socialize with them?” Severus took a deep breath and glanced to the clock on his mantel.

“Lunch will have ended soon,” he pressed a soft kiss to her lips, not lingering nearly so long as she might have liked.  “You will, they will truly think you are their lost granddaughter, Hermione, they will believe you to be Scarlett, their daughter’s only child, their only grandchild.”

Hermione felt a little ill but said nothing as she tried to process all of the information Severus was thrusting upon her.

“This is what it takes to be with you, to work at your side?” She wet her lips. She was going to agree, she knew she would, but one more confirmation wouldn’t hurt.

“It is.”


	25. XXIV - Dilectus

 

_* Dilectus - Dear, Precious, Favorite… *_

“’Mione, look… I’m… I’m sorry okay?” Hermione looked up to find Ron looming over her, she sat alone at the Gryffindor table, having made it to breakfast before the rest of Hogwarts’ Gryffindors. Harry was standing behind him, pale arms crossed across a broadening chest and green eyes glimmering.

The redhead looked entirely put out to be forced to make the apology at all, still Hermione could only cock an eyebrow at him.

“Let’s be clear on this, are you sorry for verbally assaulting me, or for shoving your tongue down my throat?” Harry’s mouth fell slack, Hermione pursed her lips and tipped her head to the side. Short chestnut curls fell across her cheek as she stared up at the redhead from beneath her lashes.

“Oh Ron, you didn’t…” Harry groaned, and whiskey colored eyes shifted from one boy to the other.

“Oh, he did, the bruises healed easily but it wasn’t exactly how I envisioned my first snog.” Her tone was biting, every bit as acidic as she’d ever sounded, and both watched her dumbfounded. Perhaps she’d been spending too much of her time with Slytherins?

“Hermione! I didn’t- I didn’t mean to! I got a little carried away, but I thought you wanted me?” He looked like a kicked puppy and Hermione felt a twinge of guilt, of sorrow for making him suffer.

“Look, let’s just put it all behind us, okay?” She pushed a smile to her face and patted the space beside her with a hand. “Sit, I know you both must be starving.” She added playfully, she was grateful when Harry was the one to take the seat beside her. She hadn’t wanted to be so close to Ron, especially with Severus watching from the head table. He was liable to have a conniption and she was in no mood to calm him.

“Are you coming to Hogsmeade with us?” Harry asked around a mouthful of food after both boys had settled and begun stuffing their faces. Hermione shook her head and pursed her lips.

“It isn’t polite to speak with your mouth full, Harry.” Her tone reprimanded but her eyes sparkled teasingly and the boy-who-lived smiled back at her. “I’ve not missed a Hogsmeade day yet, have I?”

“No,” it was Ron’s turn to speak with his mouth full. He reminded her of a squirrel, or a chipmunk with his cheeks full as they were. “but you’ve been so busy lately.” He waved his fork in a circular motion. Hermione fought the urge to roll her eyes and gave a soft nod.

“I have a lot of projects to do for my upcoming apprenticeships, but it will be worth it in the end.”

“S’long as you aren’t using that bloody time turner again.” Harry shuddered, Hermione rolled her eyes. That time turner had saved both Sirius and Buckbeak. She couldn’t imagine why he was complaining about it.

“It wasn’t that bad.” Her eyes returned to the book she had settled in front of her as she popped a grape in her mouth. “Now quiet, I need to study.” This earned her rolled eyes from both boys.

_SSHG_

“Severus, are you well?” Hermione slipped into his chambers as soon as she was able to leave the boys in the Gryffindor common room. They’d been discussing what they were going to do about Voldemort, how quiet he’d been of late. She’d also needed to make sure that Harry was keeping his Occlumentic walls up and not letting the terrible wizard into his head.

It could ruin everything if he was able to see the things Harry knew now that he was fully shielded. They’d been so careful with information up until that point- the time for hiding things from the ‘chosen one’ were long passed now, however. She knew even Dumbledore had realized it and had slowly begun to feed Harry the information he would need to win this war.

Hermione had suggested they begin dueling, perhaps even a small dueling club so they could all stay sharp. Death eaters would not take it easy on them just because they hadn’t practiced.

“Severus?” She questioned again as she came closer to his chair, his form was slumped back in the seat, the firelight flickering in front of him as she rounded to face him. She wet her lips and brushed a hand down his cheek, he was warm, as warm as he ever was, and his chest rose and fell in peaceful rhythm.

His eyes opened at her touch and she gave him a curious look.

“You are far too distracting, my dove, I find myself watching you more than I sleep, it would seem.” His voice was husky from sleep and she gave him a soft smile, bending to press a soft kiss to his lips before twining her fingers with his.

“Come to bed, Severus, you’ll only wake up sore if you stay here.” She urged him up with the hand she held and he obeyed, following her as she walked backwards to their sleeping chambers. He made to reach for his buttons, loosing her hand, and she stopped him with a soft touch. “Let me.”

She undid the first of his buttons delicately, slowly, savoring the feeling of smooth jet beneath her fingers before she pressed the next through its eye. By the time she finished she realized he was breathing quite rapidly and his eyes were looked on her face.

Hermione gave him another soft smile as she pushed the frockcoat from his shoulders and followed suit with his white shirt. She undid the pearlescent buttons that decorated his wrists last and smoothed her hand over his own before slipping that shirt form his body as well.

“You’re so beautiful.” She breathed as she lay his shirt nearly across a chair in his room. His lips were on hers before she could say another word.

This kiss was insistent, deep from the start, and filled with such passion it stole her breath. Her lips parted freely for him and she reveled in the way he explored her mouth. His large hands grasped her hips and held her fast as he kissed her, thoroughly, until she was weak in the knees.

Severus ended the kiss in the same way he began most others, by pressing his lips to hers softly, over and over. His breath whispered across her mouth as he gently stroked her lips with his own for shorter and shorter intervals before he pulled away.

“Never stop kissing me like that.” She exhaled, her forehead coming to rest against his. He smirked and brought his face up to kiss her head before pulling back.

“I believe you are over dressed, little dove.” Long fingered hands caressed her shoulders before slipping down her sides to grasp the hem of her shirt. She lifted her arms, her lack of confidence warring with her desire to please him. “I would never harm you, sweet girl.” Those slender fingers caressed her cheek and her eyes came open to stare straight into his.

“I’m not afraid of you. I’m afraid of disappointing you.” He cocked a sharp eyebrow, his face blank otherwise.

“How could you possibly disappoint me?” She brought her arms up to wrap around herself but he caught them and held them out to her sides, her shirtless torso exposed to his assessing eyes.

“I just, I know I’m not like other women, I’m- I’m smaller, and I look like a boy…” She trailed, that gnawing sensation at her insides again. He emitted a low growl and pressed her arms to her sides, looking down at her.

“You do not look at all like a boy, dove. Where could you possibly have…Weasley.” He spoke, a spark of realization lighting his eyes as he turned his gaze back down to her. “That imbecile would not understand true beauty if the Whomping Willow hit him with it. He is a child, Hermione, and you are far too beautiful for the likes of him. For the likes of myself. You shine witch, never forget that.”

He was kissing her again, his lips gentle on hers as he pressed his fingers around the waist of her jeans and helped to push them down so she stood with him in only her bra and knickers. His kisses spurred her own fingers into a boldness they might not have otherwise had and she pushed the trousers from his hips. Both kicked out of their respective clothing before Severus took her hand in his and lead her to the bed.

When she was laying down he slipped into the sheets behind her and pulled them up over both their bodies. His arms wrapped around her and pulled her back into him, her back to his chest and she sighed her pleasure at the contact.

“This weekend you will meet with the Selwyn family, does this suit you?” She nodded softly, not wanting her voice to betray her nerves.

“What are they like?”

“Much nicer than the Malfoys, much less obnoxious than the Weasleys, and more sane than the Lovegoods.” She could hear the slight chuckle in his voice and she pressed her head back against his lips. “They don’t expect you to act like a pureblood, they know you’ve been raised with muggles.”

“And they won’t hate me for that? They aren’t going to go after mum and dad are they?” Sudden panic gripped her, it was just as quickly soothed away by his hand caressing the soft skin of her side.

“No, little dove, I believe they would much sooner thank them for keeping you alive and well than harm them for raising you as their own.” Her sigh of relief was the only sound in the room other than their breathing for a long moment.

“I hope I can do this.”

“I know you can.”


	26. XXV- Minatio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi...
> 
>  
> 
> Bye...

 

_* Minatio - Threat, Menace… *_

“I don’t feel that you understand my meaning, Severus.” The black clad wizard clenched his fists, his jaw was clenched so tightly he could feel his teeth grinding together.

“No, I believe it is you who does not understand _my_ meaning, Albus.” He paused, giving the venom of his words time to register before carrying on. “If you so much as attempt to remove that girl from my care,” his breathing was rapid, his body tensed, muscles coiled. “She. Will. Die.”

“I certainly think the healers at St. Mungo’s are perfectly capable of caring for the girl, and honestly Severus, she’s distracting you from your duties. It is important you do not become…Distracted.”

Outrage registered for a moment before all-out rage seeped through Severus’ very marrow.

“Albus, if you think for even a second that you can thrust Hermione Granger upon me and then tear her away when he presence has finally become welcoming you are sorely mistaken.” Hands slapped down on the desk. The elder wizard simply stared at him with a blank stare, his blue eyes not sparkling in their typical manner.

“Severus, she is a danger to the cause as she is. We cannot possibly hope to integrate her into Riddle’s ranks fast enough. She needs round the clock care that you are no capable of giving while still working as a spy.” He sounded as if he really thought he was speaking sense. Severus’ stomach clenched as his eyes narrowed on the man who was like a father to him.

“I have sorted it, all of it.” His voice was gravelly, his dark eyes flashing something so deep one might think it was hate. Hate for his mentor? He’d felt a lot of things about Albus Dumbledore but this was the first time he found the elder wizard truly pushing him to unrestrained hatred.

“You must think of your duty to her, _to Lily_.” Severus recoiled at the name, his entire body reeling backwards as he stared at the other wizard as if he’d slapped him. Albus had the compassion to appear remorseful for his words, though Severus hardly believed that was the entire truth of the matter.

“You cannot lord her over me forever, Albus. Time moves on, Hermione is determined to do this, you’ll not send her away to suffer until she either takes her own life,” the mere thought made him feel sick, “or succumbs to the sickness of the curse.”

“Certainly the healers at St. Mungo’s can keep her safe from herself, and the curse itself can be cared for by a trained medic.” Severus felt his nostrils flare in frustration. This entire conversation had done nothing but run in circles, over and over.

“They are not capable of caring for her!” His rage had hit a fever pitch, burning through him and making his usual stoic façade fall. If ever Severus Snape could claim a fault that would be his downfall it would have to be his temper.

“I suddenly have the feeling there is something you are not telling me, old friend.” Albus gave him a suspicious look. Severus growled and turned to pace to the door.

“Every facet of my life is not open to you, Albus, you’d do well to remember that I do this of my own will now. Not your will, not Lily’s, my own.” He grasped the doorknob in his hand, knuckles white with his grip on the metal. “If you attempt to take her, if anyone lays a hand on her,” his tone dropped, taking on a menacing quality he’d never directed at anyone who might be considered friend. “They will meet a very unfortunate fate. I will carry on for you Albus, but should you attempt to relocate her,” he paused here for effect, wanting to make sure his point was clearly made, “you will find I am not against following the master who will best serve my interests.”

He glanced over his shoulder just long enough to see the paling of the elder wizard’s face before he swept from the room. The door slammed behind him with a satisfying crack.

_SSHG_

Hermione blinked at Severus, who stood in the middle of a completely wrecked sitting room. The chairs were tossed aside, the tables broken and tossed haphazardly around the room. His chest was heaving and as soon as she slipped into the room black eyes shot to her face.

She felt frozen, like a rabbit caught in a fox’s sights. Her breathing sped as he took three long strides across the room and stopped directly in front of her.

“Hermione,” his voice was heavy and his eyes held hers as he reached out and grasped her arms, tugging her into his chest. His hand pressed against the back of her head as he cradled her against him. “You are mine, mine Hermione, and no one is going to take you from me. Do you understand me? No one.” She didn’t think she’d ever heard so much desperation in someone’s voice and she took a deep breath of the heady scent of him before pulling her face back, just enough to look up into his eyes.

“What are you talking about, Severus? I’m not going anywhere.” She tried to sound reassuring but the way he held her, the state of his chambers, the sharp scent of firewhiskey on his breath. All things pointed to something being terribly wrong and she couldn’t truly reassure him before she had reassured herself.

He pulled her back so that her cheek was against his chest again, his chin rested atop her head. She could feel his voice rumble through him when he spoke again, deep and low. “Albus wishes to take you, to send you to St. Mungo’s.” Her gasp was sharp. “I informed him of the…unfavorable…consequences of such actions.” He paused in the way she’d grown accustomed to, the way his speech patterns stopped to emphasize words.

She blinked and didn’t try to pull away from him again. Well that certainly answered that question.

“He won’t take you, no one will take you from me. My sweet little dove, I won’t allow it. I can’t allow it.” She brought a hand up to stroke the smooth wool of his frockcoat beside her face, her fingers soothing across the expanse of his chest she could reach.

“I’m not going anywhere, Severus, I promise.”

“If only it were so simple. The headmaster is a wizard accustomed to having his way, Hermione. We may very well find ourselves reevaluating our situation.” Hermione pulled her head back to stare up into his face.

“Reevaluate? What do you mean?” Her voice was much softer than she meant for it to be, her eyes were wide on his. She watched his face, as ever it betrayed nothing of what he was thinking.

“I mean that I will sell my soul once more if it means your safety. I will take the master who will not part us.” A hand slapped over her mouth when she realized what he meant.

She tugged herself away from him. Wide eyes locked on his face as she stared up at him, gobsmacked.

“Severus! No, you can’t, we can figure something out! I endured the curse for a month, certainly if they take me you can have me back before then, I might make it two…” She trailed, looking thoughtful.

“Hermione, when we realized you were cursed you were nearly mad with lack of sleep. You were drinking all manner of potions and liquor. You were killing yourself without even intending to. Two months? You would succumb. It is a risk I am unwilling to take.” Hermione watched him for a long moment with wide eyes before she was against his chest again, her arms wrapped firmly around his torso.

“I don’t think anyone has ever been willing to do something so incredibly foolish for me.” She held him tightly and pressed light kisses to his wool clad chest. Her eyes closed for a long moment as she lay her head against him and smiled contentedly. “But you don’t have to, Severus.”

He pushed her back by the shoulders to look into her eyes to find them sparkling.

“What do you mean, little one?”

“I mean,” she reached up to peck him on the cheek before pulling back and looking around the room. “Well, I’ll tell you after you’ve repaired the furnishings. It couldn’t have been necessary to destroy out sitting room.”

“ _Our_ sitting room?” He drawled, one arch black eyebrow raised.

“Yes, I’m here nearly as much as you.” She countered primly as he righted her chair with a flick of her wand. She sat, smoothed her robes on her legs, and watched him with amusement written on her face as he repaired the rest of the furniture.

“And what has your brilliant mind come up with, little dove?” He questioned when he finally sat, his fingers steepled in front of his face as he observed her.

“The Selwyns are a rather prestigious family, are they not?” He nodded, “I thought as much from my research,” his chuckle gave her pause.

“You truly are a hopeless swot aren’t you?” His words might have felt biting once but she understood him so much better now than she ever had before.

“Yes, well, if you don’t mind.” She arched her own brow this time and he shook his head, motioning with a hand for her to carry on. “As I was saying,” she was being prim again, he was watching her with dark eyes that nearly distracted her, nearly. “I highly doubt such a prestigious family would appreciate their only living grandchild being thrown in St. Mungo’s when the person who can care for her best is at Hogwarts. In fact, I highly doubt they would appreciate the loss of a very important education.” She watched as Severus observed her over his fingers, his deep obsidian eyes were glittering with an emotion she couldn’t quite place.

“You,” he breathed, “are brilliant.” The reverence, the awe in his voice almost took her breath away. It was the first time he’d ever given her a compliment that was not intended to wound and her stomach clenched.

“You would have come up with it on your own when you were calm.” She blushed, her voice quiet as she gazed at him from beneath his lashes.

“Perhaps,” he traced a finger around his lips for a long moment before sitting back and opening his arms. “Come,” his dark voice drew her to him with all the effect of a siren’s song and she stood and crossed to him in several short steps. When she stood before him he tugged her body into his lap, his arms wrapping around her, his cloak following to cocoon her small form in his arms. “But you solved the problem rather brilliantly.” His voice was a whisper in her ear now and her breath stalled in her chest.

They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments before she shifted.

“Ask.” She almost laughed at the way he knew without even a word she had a question. She supposed that arm waving first year would always be with her in some way or another.

“Did you mean what you said?”

“I have said a lot this evening.” He drawled, Hermione fought her urge to scowl. She didn’t want him to make her get up. “Could you be a bit more specific perhaps, little dove?”

She heaved a breath, embarrassment flushing through her before she wrapped her courage around her worries.

Her voice was almost a whisper when she spoke again.

“That I’m yours, did you mean it when you said that I was yours?” She felt him still, tensing beneath her almost immediately and she chewed at her lip. She hadn’t meant to embarrass him.

“How would you feel if I did?” She wondered if he was as nervous as she was, he didn’t sound like it. He always sounded so smooth, confident. She knew he couldn’t be that way all of the time, she wondered what made him vulnerable- she knew deep down that he would probably never share _that_ information with her, with anyone.

“I think,” she wet her lips nervously, “I think I would feel wanted.”

“Merlin, girl, you are that. Always that.”


	27. XXVI - Timens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who shares feedback on this story! I'm very pleased to know that others enjoy what I consider to be my hobby!

_* Timens - Afraid, Fearful, Timid… *_

Severus watched the young witch dressing at the foot of his bed. Her hands trembled, and he knew without her speaking so much as a word that she was concerned for their meeting the next day with the Selwyns.

Deep, dark eyes locked on her shoulder blades moving beneath her smooth skin and he stood, making his way to stand behind her with feline grace. She jumped when his hands touched her hips and pulled her back into his bare chest. He was pleased beyond reason when she relaxed back into him with little thought and tipped her head back to look up at him.

“You are in need of fun, Dove, you will have ample time for anxiety tomorrow. Today you shall go out with your friends and enjoy yourself.” His voice was firm, his word final but still the witch pursed her lips at him and spun in his arms so that his hands rested on her lower back.

She stared up into his face, the silk of her bra was cold against the skin of his chest and he wondered- not for the first time- how women tolerated the bloody things.

“I just can’t stop myself from considering all of the what-ifs. I have so many worries, so many questions.”

Long slender fingers stroked down the side of her face to the slender column of her neck and he smirked when her eyes drifted closed. His lips ghosted softly across hers before he spoke, “Let go of your worries for today, my Dove, I assure you that everything will be well.”

Her small hands pressed against his chest and he brought his up to press over them, holding them there for a long moment. Her eyes fluttered open and she gave him one of her blinding smiles before she stepped away to finish dressing. Once in her jeans and deep blue blouse she turned her attention back to him.

“I really need to be going to meet Harry, Ron, and Ginny.” She made to turn but the wizard caught her jaw, stopping her in her tracks with a deep look.

“Something else is worrying you, Hermione.” The witch worried her bottom lip for another long moment before nodding, short curls bounced around her face.

“I’m afraid they will try to separate us.” Her words sent a shock straight to his stomach and his fingers clenched on her jaw briefly, thankfully not enough to hurt her. His mind whirled around the idea, not being able to have her, to consider her his.

He brought his other hand up, so he could shift his hands to hold them on either side of her face, his eyes locked directly on her own.

“What did I tell you? What did I say when I came back from my conversation with Albus?” Her soft whiskey eyes burned into him, she looked so lost. Did she really rely on him so much? Did she care for him as he was coming to care for her? When she didn’t respond, and her eyes flicked from his own he made a low sound in the back of his throat.

“What. Did. I. Tell. You?” He bit out through gritted teeth. The witch’s eyes snapped back to his quickly and he cocked an eyebrow.

“That I am yours, that no one is going to take me away from you.” He pulled her to him, wrapping her in his arms as her face settled against his chest.

“I meant every word, my Dove. No one is going to take you from me, no one will harm you. Not while I’m breathing, I assure you.”

“Thank you, Severus, you don’t know how much that means to me.” She whispered into the skin of his chest and he nodded, pressing his lips to the top of her head.

“Now, off with you witch, enjoy your day.” He released her and watched as she slipped from his chambers. As soon as she was gone he slumped back into his bed, stringy black hair fell into his face as his head lowered. “Merlin, let me keep this promise, even just this one.” He muttered to himself before finally standing to begin preparing for his day.

_SSHG_

If asked, Hermione could say with one hundred percent certainty that she was having the most fun she’d had in as long as she could remember. First she and Ginny had split apart from the boys in a bid to have a bit of girl time. This lead to the acquisition of mass amounts of chocolate and candy wands, as well as several wizarding games that they couldn’t wait to play when they returned to Hogwarts. Hermione shrank all of their items and tucked them away in her trusty bag just before they arrived in the location they’d been meant to meet the boys in.

Only one of the boys was present however, a very annoyed looking Ron who had his arms crossed across his chest and a scowl on his face.

“I hope you’re happy with yourself now, ‘Mione.” He groused, the brunette and redheaded witches raised their eyebrows in sync.

“I might be, tell me why you think I am happy with myself and I’ll gladly confirm or deny your suspicions.” She spoke saucily while maintaining eye contact with the irritated redhead. Ginny snorted behind her hand, earning a scowl of her own.

“Would you look over there, I think I see Dean. Dean! Oh Dean!” She turned and fled, Hermione watched her go with a frown on her face.

“Traitor!” She called to her friends back, but the redhead had already disappeared around a corner. Hermione turned back to Ron with a heaved breath and tipped her head at him curiously. “So, what is it you’ve decided I’ve done now, Ronald?”

“You brought that prat around, making him look all friendly! Now Harry’s gone off with the ferret and left me on me own.” Hermione forced herself not to snort a laugh and wet her lips.

“Perhaps they have more in common than they originally thought. I hardly see how Harry and Draco getting along is my fault.”

“You made him seem all great, like a saint- and now Harry- I think Harry has a thing for the git.” This time the laugh couldn’t be denied, and Hermione shook her head as she chuckled at her friend.

“Of course, he does Ron, he has for years, and that’s just since I noticed. Really, are you really that upset about this? Would you feel the same way if it were Cho he was fawning over again?” Ron turned a brilliant shade of red that answered Hermione’s question outright before he sputtered a response.

“No, it doesn’t have anything to do with him liking blokes! It’s just that bloke! Why him?!” He was breathing heavily now as well. Hermione was just glad his ire was only directed at her in small measure.

“Because we can’t help who we fall in love with, Ron. There is so much more to it than just saying, oh, I think she looks snoggable, or oi, he’s got a nice arse, I think I’ll marry him.” She huffed haughtily, “Maybe someday when you grow up you’ll figure that out for yourself.”

“Don’t you think I know that, ‘Mione!?” His shout drew the eyes of several passersby and Hermione instantly recoiled at the volume of his words. Ron had been, and always would be the one with a temper, and she knew that, she just forgot how vocal his temper could be at times.

“Perhaps you should find me when you’ve calmed down, Ronald.” She turned on her heel to stalk away when he caught her upper arm and stopped her dead in her tracks.

“The young Miss is not to be manhandled.” Ron released her arm and she turned to find a wizard with his wand to the redhead’s throat. Ron squeaked and Hermione cocked an eyebrow.

The wizard was tall, possibly taller than Severus who stood looming over her. He was bald, and beefy, and sported a plethora of scars all across his face. One of his eyes seemed to be sealed permanently shut and the other was the brightest color of blue she’d ever seen. He was dark, the skin of muscular arms gleamed in the sun due to sleeveless robes.

Hermione gave a surprised squawk like sound that didn’t suit her at all as she stared up into his firm face.

“I- um, what I mean is…” she trailed, trying to find her words. “I mean, who are you?” She finally managed, tossing her arms down and he gave her a broad, would be toothy smile. He was missing at least three teeth, and those were just that she could see in his top row. She almost offered to brew him a potion to grow them back, and then realized how ridiculous that would be.

“Master and Mistress Selwyn have requested I keep an eye on young Miss Selwyn.” If Ron’s eyes hadn’t been wide they would have been at the news and Hermione glanced to him to find all of the blood had drained from his face.

“You- You mean, no, ‘Mione, you’re not…You can’t be, you’re just, you’re a…” He looked on the verge of an overload and Hermione rolled her eyes, ignoring the rest of his rambling as she turned back to the hulking man who had slowly lowered his wand from the frightened redhead’s throat.

“And how shall I call you?” Hermione cocked an eyebrow.

“Mulligan would suit just as well. I have sent word to Master Snape that his betrothed has been threatened.”

“Betrothed?” Ron promptly fainted outright. Hermione thought she may just do the same thing.


	28. XXVII- Sponsus

 

_* Sponsus- Betrothed, Bridegroom, Groom… *_

Severus arrived to find Ronald Weasley on the ground, unconscious, and his witch being supported by a familiar wizard with a scared face and arms the size of tree trunks.

“Mulligan, a pleasure.” He nodded softly. Hermione whirled on him faster than he’d ever seen the witch move.

“Betrothed!? Betrothed Severus!?” Her voice was shrill, and he took a deep breath, he’d anticipated her reaction. He’d expected her to be annoyed, perhaps even a bit peeved with him. He hadn’t however expected her shrill screech.

“Miss Granger…” She stopped him with a sharp look.

“Do not Miss Granger,” she mimicked his voice, instead of finding himself annoyed as one might have expected he could only watch her, wondering if she realized how adorable she was. “I cannot believe you! You! You! Augh!” She threw her arms in the air and turned to stalk off in the other direction.

“She certainly has the Selwyn temper. She reminds me of Solana when she was young.”

“I don’t recall Solana being quite so shrill.” Severus responded in a monotone as Hermione disappeared into the bookshop and out of his sight.

“You didn’t see her when she was truly angry then.” Mulligan smirked, Severus flicked his eyes toward the brute of a man and gave a sharp nod. The scarred wizard’s eyes shifted to the bookshop. “Will you be going to make up with her here, or would you prefer I alert you when she is nearing the castle?”

The dark wizard heaved a breath and stared toward the door of the bookshop.

“Best to let her calm down, I believe, her life is changing by leaps and bounds. I have done my best to ease the distress caused her by such changes but this she will be forced to come to terms with herself.” Mulligan nodded and without another word the two wizards separated, leaving a still unconscious Ronald Weasley on the ground.

_SSHG_

Hermione walked into his rooms later that evening. Her face was calm, if a bit pinched, and he could tell she was trying to keep her posture relaxed. It was an interesting sight, to see a woman he had learned early on was quite passionate attempt to control that passion.

“Are you prepared to listen to my explanation now?” The witch stopped, coming to a stand in front of him, just out of arms reach but close enough he could smell the sweet scent of her mixed with the musky scent of old books. She crossed her arms, looking a strange combination between hurt and angry for a long moment before giving a short nod.

“I hope it is a good one, where I am from we ask the woman first, before deciding she will be married.” Severus pressed his hands down into his knees. His black eyes flashed as he pressed himself up out of his chair and stood looming over the petite witch.

“I did it for you!” He hadn’t meant to yell at her, it hadn’t been his intention to lose his infamous temper. He clenched his hands into tight fists and attempted to pace his breathing as Hermione stared directly into his face. Her eyes fell a bit, but she held her ground, standing there staring up at him.

“For me?” Her voice was barely a whisper and he swept a hand through long black hair, his fingers catching it and tugging it backwards before releasing it to fall back into his face.

“You were afraid this morning, afraid they would attempt to separate us.” He pulled in a deep breath, he stared at her hard, wanting her to understand that he was doing everything he did for her. “I met with the Dark Lord as soon as you departed, explained to him our discovery, and new status in a family amongst his ranks. I obtained his blessing and put in a bid with the Selwyn family for your hand.”

“They were pleased to take my bid, Dove, they were willing to give me your hand, Hermione.” He buried his fingers in the hair on the side of her head grasping at her hard. “I told you I will not lose you! I. Will. Not. Let. You. Go.” He was shocked when she pressed herself against him and rose onto her toes to smash her lips into his.

Her kiss was inexperienced and desperate, but he met her with his own experience and desperation. His free hand came up to capture the other side of her head as he pressed down on her, deepening their kiss. Their tongues danced together, small moans broke from Hermione’s throat to flow into his mouth and he groaned in response. His hands moved, shifted down until they were cradling her lower back and pressing her against him tightly.

“Severus,” she breathed against his lips as she pulled away from him just enough to speak.

“Not now,” his own breath caressed her lips as he tugged her back to him and kissed her as thoroughly as physically possible.

When they finally managed to separate to breathe Hermione’s eyes were heavy lidded and dewy, he smirked to himself and stroked her cheek delicately with the back of a hand.

“I have more news, if you are prepared to hear more.” He spoke as he lead her back to his chair and sat back into it. He tugged her into his lap and she toppled against him with ease.

“I doubt anything could top what you’ve just told me but carry on.” She pressed her sweet little lips to the underside of his jaw and he growled low in his throat before catching her mouth with his own again.

His hand on her hip flexed and tightened against her slender side and he broke away with four little kisses against her lips in the way he knew she liked so much. He pressed another kiss to her temple and stroked the hair back from her face gently.

“My sweet little Dove.” He exhaled against her temple and pressed another kiss to the flesh before gathering his courage. He worried she would no longer desire him when he shared this little bit of information with her.

“Oh, just tell me Severus, I won’t be angry with you I swear.” She reached up to kiss him gently.

“It is not your anger I am concerned about, Hermione.” He paused for another long moment to stroke her hair before speaking again, his voice low. “The curse will be lifted upon your presentation to the Dark Lord, as soon as your lineage is confirmed.” Hermione froze against him and he knew this would be frightening for her. “We cannot be sure the spell to redirect the lineage test will be effective but we are nearly certain it will work. Promply after the curse will be lifted and you will be free of the painful fits that have plagued you these months.”

“Oh Severus, is it true? No more intense pain?”

“Bellatrix will remove it or face her own intense pain. You will never be a member of the inner circle as I am, Hermione, but as Narcissa was for Lucius you, as my wife, will be privy to all information I am.” She smiled up at him, but he could see it waver and he stroked the side of her face again.

“And the lineage test?”

“Will be relatively painless. It will however be painful for Lucius, yourself, and I if the test fails.”

“That does not make me feel any better.” She huffed and crossed her arms as she leaned back into his chest.

“All will be well, Dove, all will be well.” He knew when she’d fallen asleep against him. When her breathing leveled and she relaxed entirely against him.

He did not look forward to the next day, the day she would be presented to the Selwyns, the Dark Lord, and be tested.

Then, should they survive, she would have to face down her friends who had no doubt been informed of all of this new information by the mouthy little Weasley idiot. He scowled as he caressed her back with gentle fingers and thought of the sweet witch in his arms.

Merlin, he hoped this all went without issue.


	29. XXVIII - Dissimulo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the incredibly long wait for updates. It would seem AO3 slipped my mind in the update circle. I have been very good about updating wattpad and ff.net and completely neglected you all. My apologies but I will try to get everything caught up now! :)
> 
> If you didn't know, I own nothing but the plot ;)

XXVIII - Dissimulo

_* Dissimulo - Disguise, Pretend, Conceal… *_

Hermione’s palms were sweating, and she rubbed them against her jean covered thighs for what had to be the fifth time since she’d woken just an hour earlier. She could feel Severus’ eyes on her, watching her carefully as he brushed through his freshly washed black hair.

She’d been partially right about him, he did make himself look worse during the week. He felt that it helped his frightening persona and she couldn’t argue with him there. It seemed to be completely effective.

When his hair was clean however it was a glossy blue-black that slid through her fingers like the finest of silks.

“Hermione, everything will be okay.” He caught her hands and she realized belatedly that he’d moved to stand in front of her. Her eyes snapped up to his face and she was relieved to feel the comfort he provided with nothing more than his overwhelming presence.

“I know, I know we want it to be okay, and we think it will be okay, but what if- what if the spell doesn’t work? What if I’m revealed to be just a plain, everyday mudblood?” He moved with a speed she hadn’t anticipated, his fingers burying themselves in her hair at the nape of her neck and grasping the back of her head tightly. Tight enough that she was aware of the pressure, just gentle enough not to cause her pain.

“Do. Not. Ever. Speak. That. Word.” He bit out through clenched teeth before lowering his face and pressing his lips to hers harshly. She opened for him immediately, his hand in her hair guiding her movements. His mouth possessed hers, dominated it in a way that she’d only experienced from him once before. In a way she strangely enjoyed despite her love of his soft little kisses.

It seemed as though when he did finally manage to pull his mouth from hers it was with reluctance. He exhaled a deep sigh before moving his hands so that he grasped either side of her face, those deep, incredibly dark eyes opened, and Hermione felt frozen in his stare.

“I would not care if you were part troll. You are my witch, if for some reason this fails- I cannot lie to you, there is a strong chance we will all fall at the hands of the Dark Lord, but I will take my last breath defending you.” Hermione nodded softly at his declaration and moved her hands so that they rested over his on either side of her face.

“Severus, when did this happen? When did you realize I was what you wanted? It all feels so muddled, everything has changed so quickly.”

“I knew from the moment I saw you hanging from that great oaf’s arm. I could deny it all I wanted, it hardly mattered. I was so angry, so angry you’d been hurt in the one place you should have been safe. I understood then that perhaps I had been lying to myself for some time about not only your staggering intellect but the fact that I thought of you in very different terms than I had convinced myself.” He turned his hands so hers were in his and brought her fingertips to his lips, kissing them gently. “Now, we must go, if we dally we will be late and the Dark Lord does not suffer tardiness.”

Hermione nodded and allowed him to lead her to the fireplace. She wasn’t surprised when he instructed her to announce for Malfoy Manor, or when he nudged her back and told her to follow him. He really did think of her safety first in all things.

_SSHG_

Severus stepped out into the sitting room of Malfoy Manor with all the grace he typically displayed. He was always more than grateful for Malfoy’s pristine floos as he never had to syphon the grit from his clothing.

“She is coming then?” Lucius asked from his place on a deep grey settee. Severus nodded and glanced back to the flaring fireplace just as the witch stepped through.

He’d convinced himself she wouldn’t find him worthy, that she would change her mind and decide that she didn’t want to be with him, that he wasn’t worth it. How wrong could he have possibly been?

He knew he was incredibly wrong when he found her standing there, chin squared, shoulders straight, looking like the little warrior he knew her to be.

“Welcome, Ms. Granger, or should I say Ms. Selwyn?” Lucius greeted coolly from his seat, Severus fought his urge to roll his eyes at the blonde as he held out a hand to Hermione and helped her from the hearth.

“Mr. Malfoy.” Hermione nodded politely, Severus pressed a hand to her lower back encouragingly and watched her with dark eyes. She radiated a confidence that he knew she didn’t feel and it sparked a pride in him that he’d never expected he would feel. “When will my grandparents be arriving?” She cocked an eyebrow at the blonde who gave her a sharp smirk.

Yes, she made him incredibly proud. She must have taken a moment to compose herself before she’d come through the floo and now she was playing the part expertly. His confidence in their venture grew, if she could keep her bravado up she would do well, and they may just all survive.

“You’ve caught yourself a fine witch, Severus. The Dark Lord insists we have our audience with him before introductions to the Selwyns are made. He hopes to avoid the pain of their discovering you are not who we say you are should they become attached to you.” Lucius regarded them both.

Severus felt the shiver run through Hermione and looked down to see her eyes were closed and she was taking well-paced breaths.

“You are safe, little dove.” He dipped to breathe into her ear and she turned her eyes to look up into his.

“Let’s get this over with, shall we?” She squared her shoulders again. Lucius stood with a nod and deposited his drink onto a low coffee table before motioning with a flourish to a set of large double doors to their left.

“The Master will see us in the drawing room.” The blonde fell into step behind Hermione who was lead by Severus to the door. Severus took a breath and opened the door with swallow.

Gods how he hoped this all went to plan.

_SSHG_

Hermione barely fought her urge to gasp when she saw the visage of the snake like man standing before her. She could tell he was making strides towards a more human appearance, a thin smattering of black hair atop his head and the beginnings of a nose forming in the center of his face. Half of her wanted to cry out of fear, the other wanted to laugh until she couldn’t see straight.

Instead she allowed Severus to pull her into a kneeling position and kept her eyes on the floor. It was all she could do to control the warring emotions that roiled and bubbled inside her.

“You are here today to disscover the true lineage of thiss girl, yess?” His voice was low, quiet, and he drew his ‘s’ into a hiss that she also found almost comical. Focusing on her breathing she listened for the response from Malfoy and Severus who were guiding her through such an experience.

“Yes, my Lord. We believe her to be the lost granddaughter of the Selwyn family. If it is so she wishes to take her rightful place amongst her own.” She heard footsteps as a figure paced around behind to her left, and then behind.

“I had thought to torture her for a time, to enjoy myssself. Ssshould we find ssshe iss truly who you claim her to be, however, I would mourn the ssuffering of pure blood.” She felt the wand to the back of her neck and before she could react the hissed words came, “Ostende verum sanguinem!”

The spell jolted Hermione forward and she felt arms catch her carefully, the familiar smell of herbs and potions before everything went dark.

_SSHG_

“It was the wrong spell.” Severus growled as he stared over at Lucius. Hermione lay, curled against him in his lap as he sat. She was still sleeping, her breathing still even, she’d been knocked unconscious by the casting of the true blood spell.

“I think you’re missing the larger picture, my friend. She is truly the daughter of Solanna, the lost Selwyn heiress. You realize of course were she not already entirely yours I would be seeking her for my son.” Severus gave a low noise, something like a growl at his friend’s words and the blonde held up both hands. “Of course I realize that is not possible now.”

“Indeed.” Severus sneered before looking back to the sleeping face of his Hermione. It didn’t matter who she’d been born as, her identity wouldn’t change, she would still be his sweet little dove. He told himself this, and yet he knew her confusion would be intense. He despised the idea of the turmoil this would throw her into, it was one thing to pretend to be someone else, it was another to have one’s entire identity called into question. “She will wish to speak with her parents, the Grangers.” Lucius nodded.

“I will inform the Selwyns that the spell used has caused her unnecessary strain. We should reschedule their meeting with her. Next weekend should give her time to recover, yes?” Severus nodded as he picked the girl up and held her tightly to his chest.

“I think that should do fine. Thank you, my friend, for everything you’ve done for us.” Severus started toward the exit. No more words passed between them as he left with the witch cradled to his chest. He would apparate them to Hogsmeade and take her to the Inn. She didn’t need the chaos of the school.

They needed to talk. She would need comfort, she would need patience and understanding.

He could only hope he would be able to provide her with that, and more.


	30. XXIX - Apocalypsis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the incredibly long wait for updates. It would seem AO3 slipped my mind in the update circle. I have been very good about updating wattpad and ff.net and completely neglected you all. My apologies but I will try to get everything caught up now! :)
> 
> If you didn't know, I own nothing but the plot ;)

XXIX - Apocalypsis

_*Apocalypsis - Revelation.*_

Severus watched her as she slept, the fingers of one slender hand smoothing through the hair at her hairline. Her chest rose and fell evenly, keeping his concern for her well-being at bay as he observed her. She hadn’t been unconscious long, at least not considering the nature of the spell she’d been subjected to. He had to consider the removal of her curse to be another factor in her prolonged bout of unconsciousness as well, such spells became deeply engrained in the person they were set upon and the removal was no easier on the body than the original casting.

So, he would wait until she awakened and then he would explain to her the situation they now found themselves in. He was aware how much of her identity she placed in her status as muggle-born. It was a point of pride for the young witch and he knew this would be a blow to her worldview.

“Severus?” Her voice was quiet when it ripped him from his thoughts and brought his focus to her face. Her eyes were open and she had wrapped her hand around his on top of her head.

“There’s a Dove, I thought you might never wake up.” He smirked as he pulled their twined hands away from the top of her head and clenched her fingers in his. She blinked groggily and attempted to sit up but was easily pushed back into her prone position. “Not yet, sweet one.” His voice was barely a whisper and she watched him with wide amber eyes as he shifted his position beside her on the bed and moved to face her more comfortably.

“What happened?” She wet her lips and glanced around, taking in their surroundings and visibly relaxing upon discovering they were no longer in Malfoy Manor.

“What do you remember, dove?” He spoke softly, smoothing her hair back from her face with his free hand as he watched her attempt to register her last memory.

Her breathing hitched before she wet her lips again and clenched her little fingers inside his own.

“I remember _him_ , he was quite strange looking…” She seemed to contemplate for a moment before snorting what could easily be a half-hysterical laugh. “And then he walked behind me and, and he was talking about torturing me- I think…”

“He would have been forced to kill me first.” Severus soothed, the witch nodded and took a shallow breath.

“And then he cast something, it felt like the air was knocked out of me and then- nothing.” She squinted, Severus nodded. So, her memories hadn’t been negatively impacted, for that he could be grateful.

“Good, you remember everything up to the point that you were rendered unconscious then.” Hermione nodded and shifted, he helped to pull her into a seated position, a hand on her arm to help her balance as she sat up. “The spell he cast was one we hadn’t anticipated, a very powerful lineage test. It knocked you unconscious upon casting.” He searched her eyes, holding her gaze in his own as he brushed a few loose strands of hair back from her eyes.

“Why do you look worried I will panic?” She was watching him closely now, her eyes narrowed on his face and he took her hands in his, wrapping them carefully in the warmth of his own palms. “Severus? What happened?” It seemed she would panic soon and wanting to avoid a breakdown he heaved a breath and tightened his hold on her hands.

“The spell revealed you truly are a Selwyn, you are Solanna’s lost daughter.” Her muscles clenched and her teeth bore into her bottom lip as she stared at him, shock radiating from her very being.

“What? No, that’s not- that’s not possible…” She trailed, looking around, he held fast, not releasing her hands as she shifted in her place on the bed in front of him and tugged at her hands. Her breathing came fast and nervous, her eyes watered.

“Hermione, Hermione you have to calm down love.” He pulled her closer, wrapping her in an embrace as first a single sob broke her chest, followed by several small sounds that could only be described as the witch’s heart breaking.

“Why didn’t they tell me? Why wouldn’t they tell me? How could I be, but then everything I- No!” She cried, and he simply grasped her wriggling form more tightly, pulling her into his lap and rocking her gently while she continued to babble incoherently into the fabric of his frockcoat.

Petite hands tugged at the fabric and he looked down to see a tear streaked face intent on the buttons of his frockcoat. She bit her lip as tears slipped down her cheeks and her fingers shook as they pressed button after button through their eyes.

“Hermione, love, what are you doing?” He asked gently, not wanting to upset her further. She looked up at him and motioned to the buttons before going back to pressing the shining jet through wool.

“I need you closer, I need you, I need, I want…” She seemed to be having a difficult time articulating what exactly it was she wanted from him but he understood and with a breath moved her fingers away from the buttons of his frockcoat.

Her upset expression upon looking up at him drew a smirk to his face as he finished the buttons and shrugged away the thick fabric. “Is this close enough, dove?”

Hermione bit her lip and shook her head ‘no’, short curls bobbing on her head as he nodded and shifted her from her position in his lap. He pulled the white dress shirt from the waist of his trousers and began undoing the small pearlescent buttons under her watchful eye, one leg stretched out long while the other bent on the bed, his knee brushed comfortingly against her thigh as he worked.

When he was finally divested of his white shirt he watched as she lay down beside him, her back to him and looked up at him over her shoulder. “Hold me?”

Severus could only nod and lay behind her, pulling her back against him and curling around her as she pressed back against him. With his arms wrapped around her she sighed and he could feel her breathing steady.

“Why didn’t they tell me?” He took a deep breath of the sweet scent of her hair and pressed a kiss to the back of her head reverently.

“Perhaps they were waiting for the correct timing, perhaps they didn’t know how to tell you, I cannot speak for your parents Hermione.” He exhaled, his breath stirring her hair, she pressed warm lips to one of his arms and he smiled to himself. “I can say however that you are very loved, and I am certain your parents love you very much as well.”

“Can we meet with them? Before we go back to Hogwarts?” She spoke into the darkening room, Severus sighed but gave a gentle nod over her head.

“If it is your desire.”

“Only if you’re there.” She pressed back closer to him and he closed his eyes against the sharp spike of lust that careened through him. Inhaling the sweet scent of her hair once more he gave a sharp nod.

“Yes, now rest.”

“Severus?”

“Merlin witch, you make a habit of keeping me from sleep.” He grunted, his arms still tight around her. He could feel the laugh in her chest before it broke into the open air of the room and he smirked, pleased with his ability to shift her mood.

“Thank you.”

“If that is all, Hermione?” He felt her wriggle against him and sighed.

“Severus?”

“Witch?” He grunted quietly, reveling in the feeling of her nails drawing across the skin of his arm draped around her.

“Are you sure? What if the spell was wrong?” He could imagine her biting at her lip as she spoke and he pressed his lips to the top of her head once again, a delicate peck.

“It was not.”

“You’re sure?”

“Certain.” He felt her shoulders shake at his response and pursed his lips, despising his role in the upheaval of her life.

“And the curse?” She sounded hopeful at this and he grunted.

“Yes, the counter-curse was administered, though we will not truly know the result until you have spent ample time outside of my presence.” He felt himself stiffen, he still worried she would have no use for him and thus stop her association with him.

If she were a smart witch she would, after all.

“You’re stuck with me, Severus Snape.” He couldn’t stop the deep chuckle that worked its way from his throat.

“I believe I can live with such a fate.” Her fingers wormed their way between his and squeezed gently.

“Good.” She muttered just before her breathing evened and he was sure she had finally fallen asleep once again.

He would take her to see her family the next day. He would hold her hand and give her all of the support he could and he would hope that the Grangers did not break their daughter’s heart in the end.


	31. XXX - Verus Amor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the incredibly long wait for updates. It would seem AO3 slipped my mind in the update circle. I have been very good about updating wattpad and ff.net and completely neglected you all. My apologies but I will try to get everything caught up now! :)
> 
> If you didn't know, I own nothing but the plot ;)

XXX - Verus Amor

_*Verus Amor - True Love*_

To David and Olivia Granger the man who stood behind their daughter appeared as a wraith. His eyes were the deepest color of jet either had ever seen locked on them, his hands, pale and talon like curled around Hermione’s shoulders in what might have been a menacing gesture. He dressed swathed in black, lank hair hung loose in his face, and there was a sneer upon his lips that was more than a little off-putting.

To the other pair, however, Severus was providing Hermione with the comfort she desperately needed in the given situation. One of her own hands moved up to cover his on her shoulder and she looked up at him briefly from her seat so far below him in her chair. He cocked an eyebrow, earning a smile before she folded her hands in her lap and turned her gaze to her parents. Both watched them warily, as if concerned about what the man stood behind their daughter would do- to Hermione, or to them Hermione couldn’t be certain.

She of course knew Severus would never do anything to hurt her, that didn’t mean her parents were privy to such knowledge.

“Was I adopted?” Hermione thought straight to the point would be the best method. Two sets of pursed lips answered her question better than their words ever could have and she nodded. “Why did you never tell me?” Her voice was smaller now and Severus squeezed her shoulders comfortingly. She lay her cheek against his fingers for a moment, inhaling deeply in the face of her parents' silence. She needed their answer, needed to understand why everything she had ever known was suddenly turning out to be a lie.

It would be untrue to say she wasn’t upset with them, of course she was. She was upset they’d never told her that she wasn’t truly their daughter- especially when she’d discovered she was a witch and was brought to Hogwarts. That information might not have changed anything, but it might have given her chance to search for her biological family, to find out who she was before this point. Yes, it was all coming together, still she couldn’t help but wonder, wonder what it might have been like to know the Selwyn family before.

“We wanted to wait, Hermione. You’ve been ours since you were just a little baby, when we found out you were something different, a witch, and you went into this world you’ve left us for we thought it would be too much. Your father and I, we didn’t want to overwhelm you with information, or make you feel more out of place than you were already feeling. We just wanted to wait until you were older, until you could handle these things better.” Her mother held her father’s hand as she spoke, and Hermione nodded thoughtfully.

“I was mature for my age.” Hermione kept her voice from edging on shrill, surprisingly. “Did you consider that it might’ve made it easier for me to find my place, that it may help me understand why I am the only witch born to our entire family?” She sounded like she was pleading with them to understand, and she was, in a sense. She was also incredibly aware that they would probably never understand what she meant, they would never be able to understand a world that was little more than a fairytale to them. Even their visits to Diagon Alley had never seemed to solidify for them the reality that was their daughter’s life. Hermione knew this, it was why she’d begun shopping with the Weasleys in her fourth year, leaving her parents at home. That, and of course the danger that Voldemort had increasingly begun to pose to them, people without magic, people who could never hope to defend themselves from the dark wizard.

Hermione searched her mind for a few moments, breathing and trying to decide what to say next.

The silence was lingering, an uncomfortable lack of sound that made her skin crawl. She’d never felt so uncomfortable in the presence of her own parents. Severus’ fingers shifted, and she was immediately reminded that he was there, standing behind her, supporting her.

“Did you know her? Did you meet her?” She asked quietly, clearly referring to her biological mother. Severus squeezed her shoulders gently and she looked up at him from her position.

“We didn’t,” his words were swift and sharp and that seemed to be all he was willing to say on the matter. “Hermione, who is this man?” David Granger’s dark eyes narrowed on the looming figure of Severus Snape stood behind her. His tone was waspish, his face stern, and the fist of his empty hand clenched, as if he thought he might be able to intimidate the dark wizard looming behind her.

“Severus? Severus is my fiancé.” A grimace fixed itself to Olivia Granger’s face while David scooted forward, face turning red. He looked amusingly like a tomato, his eyebrows furrowed and his face the deep red of a father who had just been informed of something that he definitely did not like to hear.

Hermione wanted to laugh, after sitting in front of Lord Voldemort she didn’t think her father’s vein popping in his throat and red face would ever make her afraid as it had in the past. She fought to keep her face neutral, her tongue flicked out to wet her dry lips subconsciously.

“Fiancé? I disagree young lady! You are most certainly not old enough to have anything of the sort.” David all but growled at his daughter sat across from him. His body language spoke volumes of his disapproval, of his absolute dislike for Severus.

Hermione felt like ice was running through her veins, settling in a block in her stomach that ached painfully. She loved Severus, and even if her parents didn’t know him, they knew of him, of how noble she thought him to be, how much she admired him despite his frequent scathing remarks in the classroom.

She turned her eyes up to Severus, seeking his comfort and he was staring straight ahead at her father. His jaw was clenched, and he emitted an incredibly intimidating aura. One that said he would like nothing more than to hex David Granger right out of his seat.

“You will not speak to her in such a manner or this meeting will be over.” Severus spoke quietly from above her and Hermione continued to look up at him for a long moment before fixing her gaze back on her parents across from them.

“Severus, it’s okay.” She practically whispered before taking a deep breath and addressing her father. “As for my engagement it has been arranged with my biological grandparents. There is nothing more to be said about it.” She stood, straightening the skirt of her sundress around her legs. Severus came to stand beside her, his eyes still fixed on the Granger’s.

This had been an all-together fruitless conversation, in his opinion.

“Hermione Granger!” Her father had stood, both fists clenched, as she turned for the door. Severus’ wand was in his hand before either muggle could blink and pointed directly at the fuming man. “You are still my daughter and I forbid, _forbid_ your relationship with this man!” He might’ve been spitting he was so angry, Hermione could hardly pay attention as she was too busy attempting to soothe Severus with a hand against his cheek.

The wizard loomed over her, his entire body coiled tight and his black eyes burning with a fury that she’d only seen a handful of times- and always directed at Harry.

“Severus, shh, there is nothing they can do, love. Severus, look at me.” She implored with her hand on his cheek and finally his eyes shifted, slightly before shooting directly back to her father. “Severus, he cannot do anything.” She stroked the pads of her fingers down his cheek and his eyes shifted again, back to her face, holding her own gaze. “My heart belongs to you, no one is going to take me away.” Hermione soothed quietly and finally his wand arm lowered, his hand still clenched around the ebony wood coming up to cradle her back as he pulled her to him.

She didn’t look back at her father, she could hear her mother sobbing, begging the man to calm down and think about what he was doing. She could hear the worry in the woman’s voice that she would never come back to them if her father acted in such a way. She knew they were building a rift that only time could heal.

“Your daughter is my betrothed, furthermore she is of age and perfectly able to make her own decisions.” Severus pulled her toward the door, his body was still tense, muscles rigid. “You should thank her, if not for her presence here on this day you might have not gone on to see another.” He growled and Hermione clutched him to her more tightly, her eyes closed.

She wanted to reprimand him for threatening her father. She wanted to be upset with him for acting on impulse but she couldn’t, because when David Granger attempted to forbid her from seeing the man she adored, the one she could genuinely call her true love, she lost a level of respect for him. She lost a lot there, in her former home. She lost a piece of herself she wasn’t certain she would ever be able to retrieve again.

Hermione wasn’t sure how they came to be at Hogwarts in Severus’ chambers, she wasn’t sure when Draco had arrived and come to sit with her, or where Severus had gone. She knew only the desire to sleep, to close her eyes and forget the day had ever come to pass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There, all caught up loves, I hope not to leave you waiting again! Sorry :X


	32. XXXI - Difficultas

XXXI - Difficultas

_*Difficultas - Complication, difficulty...*_

“I understand that you have arranged a betrothal between yourself and Ms. Granger.” Albus spoke bluntly, looking over his half-moon spectacles with accusatory blue eyes. Severus allowed his face to pull into an ugly sneer, his black eyes narrowing.

“I hardly see how that is any of your concern, how though, have you come to possess this knowledge?” His irritation was apparent in his voice, as much as it was on his face.

“I received a letter from two very concerned parents. Severus, you must know this is not wise, nor is it proper.” Albus settled his spectacles onto the desk in front of him and fixed darkening blue eyes on the dark wizard.

“Proper? Albus,” Severus scoffed, bitterness dripping from his tone, “proper is not something you have any rights to speak on, Albus. Preparing a child like a lamb for the slaughter because of a prophecy spoken by a kook? Playing the people around you as if they are pieces on a chess-board, taunting one of the most powerful wizards ever born without ever facing him? You do not have the right to speak on what is proper!” The dark wizard stood, his shoulders tight and tense, his black eyes narrowed as he stared down at the man he had once called mentor.

“My betrothal to Hermione is set, she has accepted me as her future spouse, she has expressed that this is _her_ desire, to the Grangers in person no less.” Albus nodded at his words but Severus could see the effort he put forth to look saddened.

“Be that as it may, Severus, her parents are not pleased and request Hermione’s immediate removal from Hogwarts.”

“She is no longer a ward of her parents, Albus.” Severus asserted darkly.

“Her biological family can have no say in her legal family’s decisions. I am afraid Ms. Granger will be forced to return to her home.”

_SSHG_

“Harry, is everything okay?” Hermione was concerned. Her best friend had only poked at the food on his plate for two full meals and that was simply not like Harry. “What’s wrong?”

“Hermione, have you ever found out something, something that makes everything else seem like a lie?” The bushy haired witch cocked an eyebrow and pursed her lips. Had she ever! Shifting her focus back to Harry she settled a hand on his ever-broadening shoulder and urged him to turn and look at her.

“You know you can tell me anything, what’s happening Harry?” She saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed and nodded his head. Wild black hair flopped around on top of his head, but his green eyes still looked grim.

“Dumbledore has been keeping things from me, lots of things…” He trailed, his voice dropping several octaves so that only Hermione could hear him. She nodded softly and glanced around the room.

“Maybe we should talk about this later, in private?” She hooked her arm around his shoulders and gave a gentle side hug. “We can meet in the usual place?” Harry nodded and Hermione released him, turning an eye to his plate. “Good, now eat, we can’t have the savior dying.”

Harry frowned at her teasing but snatched something at random from his plate and popped it into his mouth.

Looking up Hermione caught Draco looking at them questioningly and gave a soft nod, nudging her head toward Harry to indicate he needed attention. Draco nodded, then glanced to the seat beside Harry that Ron would typically occupy.

Unfortunately for Ron since finding out her actual heritage and blood status he’d been more frustrated with his friends than ever. He was blowing his top at even the smallest of things and Hermione and Harry had distanced themselves from him accordingly until he came around again. They were more than accustomed to his tantrums and acting out.

She nodded her head in Harry’s direction one more time before saying her goodbyes and throwing out the excuse that she would be going to the library for the evening. Harry accepted, and she looked back at him one more time to see him picking at his food again. She caught sight of a head full of white blonde hair edging its way towards him and sighed to herself.

If Harry and Draco were distracted with one another she could sneak away to see Severus, who had been glaringly absent the entirety of Dinner.

_SSHG_

“Severus?” Hermione’s voice echoed in his empty chambers and she felt a cold rush of dread flow directly down her spine. Nothing, there was nothing left of the wizard in the empty room. The rugs, the furniture, the books, everything was gone.

As she looked around she realized something else, Crooks was gone as well. The feeling of dread still welling and rumbling through her body she caught a gasped breath, not realizing she’d been holding her breath, and darted through the sitting room to the equally empty bedroom and kitchen. Her window was gone, the bed, everything, gone.

She couldn’t wrap her mind around it, realizing that Crooks was in neither of these places either she left the room for her own room in Gryffindor tower. Upon arrival she realized, stunned, that all of _her_ belongings were gone as well, her trunk and her books, everything she owned had been cleared from the room.

Instead inside sat a lone bed, unrumpled and uncovered by sheets or covers, no pillows. Nothing, there was nothing here either.

The witch furrowed her brow, her mind racing a mile a minute as she tried to pull the pieces of a very strange puzzle together and understand exactly what was happening.

“Ah, Ms. Granger, I had hoped I would find you here.” The familiar voice of her head of a house spoke from behind her and she turned on her heel, brown eyes wide.

“What- what’s happening?” She gasped out, her mind reeling, the elder witch gave her a sad smile and shook her head.

“It seems your parents require your return to the muggle world, Hermione, I’m sorry dear, there is nothing we can do.” Hermione bit her lip so hard it bled in her attempt not to scream at the elder witch that no such thing was happening.

She was eighteen, well over the age of adulthood in the wizarding world and just so in the muggle one. She wouldn’t stand for this.

“And where has S- Professor Snape gone?” The woman shook her head this time, an incredibly sad look coming across her face.

“Professor Snape has left us, according to Albus he has resigned from his post and left Hogwarts.”

“And you don’t think that’s odd at all?” Hermione’s eyes narrowed on the other witch who brought her own eyes back to her, wide with surprise. “Come now, Professor, he’s been here for years, he’s been loyal to Dumbledore most of his life. Why would he simply up and go?” Hermione swallowed. She knew why.

Albus had forced Severus’ hand, she only hoped she could find him, and stop him from doing something foolish before it was too late.

“As for myself, I will not be returning to my parents. I am eighteen years old and as such an adult in both worlds. I am going to speak with Harry and Draco, and then I will escort myself from the grounds.” Hermione had her nose in the air, trying to stop her rising panic.

“Ms. Granger, I, Hermione- I have been instructed to escort you to your parents’ home.” The elder witch looked torn, her eyes sad as she observed the younger.

“And I am declining, if you would like to accompany me to speak with Harry and Draco and then escort me from the grounds I am more than comfortable with that. I will not be returning to the Granger home, however.” McGonagall tilted her head, this time cat like in her confusion and Hermione noticed the furrowed brow on the typically stern face.

“I’m not certain I understand what you mean, Ms. Granger?”

Hermione pursed her lips and shook her head, hooking her fingers in her hair. “And I haven’t got the time to explain, I need to find Severus before he does something utterly stupid. Speak with the Headmaster if you need more answers.” At her words she stormed from the room, all but running from the common room and out into the castle so she could find Harry and Draco. She needed to know she had a place to go if she couldn’t find Severus, and she knew Draco was her best bet at finding the wizard.


	33. XXXII - Nomen Novum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thank you for all of your comments and for reading! I appreciate it greatly.  
> I am currently on a hiatus due to collegiate responsibilities and will be updating slow/not at all. I will return to a more consistent update schedule when the semester ends.

 

_* Nomen Novum - A new name *_

Hermione paused in her pursuit of Draco and Harry, realizing almost belatedly that she knew exactly where Severus Snape would have gone. Her abrupt halt in the hall nearly forced Professor McGonagall to crash into her and Hermione turned to give the other witch a sheepish smile over her shoulder.

“I know where he is.” She felt the tenseness of her shoulders lax as the elder witch came to stand beside her.

“Could you share with me this revelation then, dear girl?” The witch’s face was more pinched than usual, her eyes were curious.

“He’s going to go to the source of the problem…of course he would, he said nothing was going to come between us.” Hermione shook her head, breathless. “Idiot man.” She muttered under her breath before turning back to her former professor. “I’m sorry, Professor McGonagall, for everything Harry, Ron, and I put you through, you were a wonderful head of house. I really hope I have the opportunity to come back and finish my education.” She embraced the bewildered professor in a tight, quick hug before turning and dashing through the school, out and onto the grounds.

She would need to find her way off of Hogwarts’ grounds so that she could apparate to her family home. She should have known from the very start, Severus would want to confront the problem head on.

***

“I had thought myself clear during my previous visit to your _home_.” Severus snarled, not at all bothered by the fearful looks on the faces of both Grangers. His wand was in his hand, not pointed in a threatening manner at anyone- yet, but it would be, if the blasted muggles failed to cooperate.

“No matter what your magical laws say Hermione is still a minor by her birth certificate. She is our child and we will care for her as we see fit.” Severus sneered at the man as he spoke, gripping his wand more tightly in his fist. These- _people_ \- had forced him from his employer, caused a widening of the rift between himself and the headmaster, and caused Hermione undue strain.

“I am afraid you do not understand your situation at all, Mr. Granger.” He spoke through clenched teeth, he could see the man making a fist, as if he would ever have a chance to lay a single finger on Severus.

“No, you don’t understand your situation! I will go to the media! Tell them all about your kind!” Spittle flew from Granger’s lips in his rage and Severus cocked a eyebrow, he could feel the smirk pulling its way onto his face. Menacing, dark.

“I had hoped you would say those magic words, Mr. Granger, for you see- and as I know you were informed…” Severus trailed at the squeaking of the door opening. He was surprised, he hadn’t expected her to find him so soon, still, he could tell just by the soothing presence that it was in fact Hermione. His Hermione.

“You could have left a note.” He heard her soft voice behind him and shot a glance over his shoulder. Her father took his distraction as an opportunity to stand and throw a wild punch at his face. Severus’ nose cracked at the impact but instead of buckling as the muggle might have anticipated he turned and caught the man in his left temple with a fist, knocking him to the ground and out cold. Mrs. Granger screamed, Hermione grasped his arm tightly in quaking fingers.

Everything was moving so quickly from that point, Hermione checking his nose, healing it for him before turning to her mother who hovered over her father in the floor.

“Why, why did it have to come to this?” The once wild haired brunette asked, Severus didn’t need to see her face to see she was incredibly sad at this turn of events.

“You’re our daughter, we only want what is best for you.” Mrs. Granger was looking up at Hermione from the floor as Severus hooked an arm around her shoulders. He could feel her shivering, as if she were cold despite the warmth of the room they stood in.

“Not anymore, Severus?” She turned her face up to his and he looked down at her, his wand still clutched in his hand though his fist loosened considerably in her presence.

“What would you have me do, Hermione?” His voice was soft, softer than he could ever recall himself having spoken and he could see the resignation in her eyes. Still there was a steel in her shoulders that she held straight despite his arm draped around them and the strain of the situation.

“Can you make them forget? Forget me, forget everything about our world?” She wet her lips as she stared up at him and he gave a nod.

“Be sure, Hermione, the spell—they may never have those memories back.” He spoke quietly, his head bowed as close to hers as possible, she turned her gaze back to the woman on the floor. Her eyes lingered there for a long moment, locked on those of the only mother she’d ever known. The woman was pleading, near silently, but pleading with her daughter.

“I’m sorry mum, I- I can’t let him remember, I can’t let him try to…” She trailed on a sob and Severus wrapped her in his arms, his cloak concealing her from the prying eyes of the elder woman.

“Go, wait for me in the other room, I will join you shortly.” He spoke into her ear before kissing the side of her head and watching as she broke from him and left.

“Hermione!” The woman called, her voice breaking as she gave her shout several times more. Hermione did not turn, did not cast a glance to her mother.

***

“So this is their house?” Hermione stared in awe at the large structure looming before them. Severus had done what she’d asked of him and after many tears and soft words he’d brought her to meet them, the people who were supposed to be her real family. Severus nodded beside her and she turned her gaze to the door, trying to wrap her mind around the idea of living in such a large, grandiose home. Even the iron door was intricately carved and looked centuries old.

She felt a thrill rush through her at the idea that this house may just contain the library she had always dreamt of.

“Are you prepared, dove?” Severus questioned close to her ear and she turned brown eyes up to him, their eyes locking. A soft nod was her only confirmation before he raised a hand and knocked heavily with the iron doorknocker.

The pair was greeted by a bouncy house elf, one whose ears jumped up at down even as she remained on her flat feet before them.

“Mistress Selwyn! We has been waiting oh so patiently for the mistress, I is remembering when she was being lost! Oh Olly is so happy to be having the mistress home!” The elf grabbed Hermione by the hand and tugged her forward, drawing her into the marble foyer and allowing Severus to follow behind at a glide. Hermione marveled as she stumbled at how magnificent he truly was. “And the Master! Master Snape is being very welcome, the Mistress and Master Selwyn has been waiting in the drawing room. Come, come.” She spoke quickly and Hermione smiled to herself as the elf pulled her away, Severus still gliding behind.

She supposed she better accustom herself quickly to her new name, this was her family now, for better or worse.


	34. XXXIII - Impostura

_(Impostura - Imposter, deception, deceit.)_

“It is a shame, Professor, that all of your carefully laid plans seem to be falling to ash.” A cold voice chided, dark eyes staring down into the face of a bound and bloodied Albus Dumbledore. He lay in the floor, his old form surprisingly strong despite his relatively long held position. Albus snorted behind the gag that held him silent and glared with sharp blue eyes at the bubbling features of the shrinking man stood in front of him.

Before much time had passed the figure stood, swimming in his robes, a woman with soft blonde hair and hard black eyes. She smiled, a sinful smile and pulled a flask from the inner pocket.

“I do prefer to wear my own skin, just from time to time. Tell me, did you ever truly believe we could drive Severus back into the Dark Lord’s arms? A woman, all it took was a woman and a bit of hateful refusal to accept his relationship on your part.” She sneered down at him, a pointed boot connected with his side and he grunted but remained calm.

Albus Dumbledore had been biding his time, careful to ensure that this witch thought him entirely overtaken.

 _“The idea that she truly believes she has successfully driven Severus away from the light is a sham, with Hermione he will desire nothing more than to end Voldemort.”_ The voice of Fawkes was clear in his head and he smiled softly to himself behind his gag. Much had been changed by the witch, of that he was certain, still, Severus would never truly abandon the light. Hermione would never abandon Harry, it was simply a matter of time before his potions master put together the puzzle of clues he was no doubt working through.

“Well, let’s get on with this then.” She huffed, took a swig from the flask and turned, sweeping from the room in what would be more a flattering rendition of Severus’ walk than the glide Dumbledore typically moved at. Her skin bubbled and changed, her body growing, her hair whitening and lengthening. Albus could only watch, stoic in his wait for things to fall into place as he knew they would.

***

“This is insane.” Ron grumbled as he followed behind Harry and Draco. They were currently working their way through the tunnel hidden behind the whomping willow to make their way to the shrieking shack.

“There is something going on in the school, Ron, we need to figure it out. Without Hermione, Remus is our best option. He’s smart, he can figure things out.” Harry hissed looking back at him and Ron crossed his arms across his chest.

“That doesn’t explain why we had to bring Loony along.” He cut his eyes back to the younger witch trailing behind him. She was stopping every so many feet to caress a root or speak to a bug and honestly, she gave Ron the willies. Creepy, Luna Lovegood was creepy.

“Her name is Luna, prat, and she is the only one of us who has an extra sense about things.” Draco was the one to turn this time and Ron eyed his hand linked with Harry’s, Harry squeezed that hand and the blonde turned his eyes to the raven-haired wizard before fixing his eyes back on the path before them.

Luna remained relatively silent behind him and Ron was glad for it as he trailed behind his best friend and Malfoy. Meeting Lupin in the middle of the night because Harry had one of his gut feelings seemed ridiculous. Of course, then again it seemed ridiculous that Hermione was a lost pureblood and marrying Snape, the world had truly gone topsy turvey.

Coming out into the Shrieking Shack Ron watched as Luna made her way to meet Remus Lupin and offer him one of the largest hugs he’d ever seen Remus accept. The werewolf pressed a gentle kiss to the top of the witch’s head before turning to Harry and Draco with a pat on the shoulder to greet each.

“So, what is it you’ve called me here to discuss, Harry? It isn’t like you to sneak out in the middle of the night.” Ron could tell by the playful glint in the werewolf’s eyes he was teasing the boy, Ron scoffed but only crossed his arms across his chest and averted his gaze when Harry shot him a hard look.

“I think there is something going on with Professor Dumbledore. Hermione and Snape are gone.”  
“Professor Snape, Harry.” Lupin corrected, Ron rolled his eyes but bit his tongue to remain silent.

“Right, Professor Snape, he and Hermione have gone off the grid. He sent Draco this note.” Harry motioned to the blonde who pulled a folded bit of parchment from his robes and handed it over almost distrusting to Remus.

Ron thought it was good he didn’t fully trust them, git deserved to feel uncomfortable.

“Why would Albus take issue with Hermione and Severus, he all but forced them together?” Remus furrowed his brow, Ron watched bewildered as Luna stroked a hand across the much taller wizard’s shoulder.

Was something going on between Loony and Remus? Surely not, she was quite a bit younger than the wizard! Remus caught Ron’s narrowed gaze and Luna glanced between the pair.

“Our relationship is strictly platonic until I graduate.” Luna said dreamily before drifting across the room. Remus blushed a bright red that mirrored Ron’s own and both turned their eyes away.

Clearing his throat Remus carried on, “If Severus believes something has happened to Albus then I can only suspect that he is correct. He knows the headmaster best of us all, he wouldn’t lead us astray on this.”

“The question now is what is happening and how do we fix it?” Harry asked, ready to rush in headlong as ever.

“I will discuss these matters with the Order, wait for my owl.” Remus hugged Luna once more before saying his goodbyes and ushering them back to the school. Harry and Draco tailed in back this time while Luna lead the way.

The world really had turned on its end.

***

“Hermione!” Hermione was surprised to be immediately wrapped in the arms of a sobbing witch who at a glance appeared to be around Professor McGonagall’s age. There was a man standing behind her, his arms crossed tightly across a stern chest as he looked them over and Hermione’s eyes locked with his. They were familiar, familiar in the way that they were the eyes she looked at every time she looked in the mirror.

Gods, these people really were her family, weren’t they? It hadn’t seemed real, not until she was embraced by a sobbing witch of equal height and stared into eyes that looked so like her own it was eerie. She wondered if he recognized the resemblance as well.

“Oh, let me look at you!” The witch pushed back from her and held her at arm’s length, looking into her face with shining blue eyes. Her hair was darker than Hermione’s but equally as wild- pulled back in a tight clip- and she couldn’t believe it when she found a face that so closely resembled her own staring back at her. Older, well aged, but the cheekbones were hers, and the stature.

She wasn’t sure how to take the familial resemblance and immediately searched for Severus with wild eyes. He caught her gaze, the panicked look on her face, and immediately strode forward to help her.

“Madam Selwyn.” He gave a low, sweeping bow and Hermione watched him, marveled at his grace. “Hermione has had a very trying day, perhaps tea would be in order?” He took her hand and pulled her delicately into his side where she clung to his robes. She faintly heard the near silent pop of an elf before she was lead to a sofa, a very uncomfortable sofa.

When she shifted in her discomfort she caught a glimpse of Severus flicking a cushioning charm at her seat and she immediately felt more comfortable, and more at ease.

“I am sorry for assaulting you, Hermione my dear. I have been so looking forward to meeting you, and you look so much like your mother.” The elder witch settled across from them, looking as though she’d gathered herself as she began to fiddle with the tea service. Her husband took his seat beside her, still looking at Hermione intensely. She shifted under his gaze but said nothing to him as she watched her—grandmother?—fidget.

“Our little Scarlett, come home to us.” The woman sighed looking up at her husband and Hermione seemed to snap from the thoughts that had locked her mind and rendered her silent.

“About that, the name that is,” she began, realizing already that she was about to ramble. “Severus wiped my parents’ memories, they no longer know I exist and I would like to take the Selwyn name, if that is okay with you? I don’t want to be a bother or an inconvenience and I certainly won’t trouble you for anything- Merlin knows you’ve done enough for me already- but I couldn’t bear to continue carrying their name around with me knowing what I know now. I loved them, my parents, but they weren’t like us and they never understood.

“I’d hoped it would be okay with you that I kept my name, Hermione that is, I’ve never umm- never been called by anything else and I don’t know how I would handle going by an entirely new name. I’m sure Scarlett would make a lovely middle name, and I could certainly grow accustomed to you calling me that if you wish…” She trailed when the wizard sitting across from them gave a booming laugh and settled back in his seat. Hermione watched him with wide, baffled eyes as his chuckles rang throughout the room before he calmed himself and fixed her in his stern gaze.

“Dear girl, you are Selwyn. You do not require our permission to carry our name. You are our grandchild, the last living heir to the Selwyn name. The only consideration you should give is whether or not you wish to go by your father’s surname or your mother’s, either way you are our blood. You’ve more than proven that rambling as your mother did once before you. So strange you could grow up without her and still be so much like her.” He spoke          quietly, he had a dark, overpowering presence, much like that of Severus and she found it soothed her more than she might have ever thought it would.

“And who was he, my father?” Hermione wasn’t sure if she wanted the answer. Severus squeezed her knee, his finger drawing little circles on her covered flesh. She cast him a sideways glance, finding he was just as interested as she to discover such information.

“Regulus Black.” Came the blunt response.

Hermione’s breath caught in her throat, and she swore she almost fainted.


	35. XXXIV - Mirari

 

_(Mirari - To be surprised.)_

Hermione sat completely still at the revelation of her parentage, Severus, could not himself decipher why it struck him so harshly that she was the child of a man who’d been one of his best friends but it did seem to make sense. He had held Regulus dear to him, despite his dislike for Bellatrix and Sirius, it seemed only fitting in its own fucked up way that he should fall in love with the man’s daughter.

Daughter, she was his friend’s daughter. Severus pulled his hand away and felt her eyes snap to the side of his face immediately. He could feel her questioning gaze but said nothing, sitting stalk still.

“I think perhaps, I should leave to allow you to talk.” Hermione tried to catch his sleeve but he was standing and striding from the elaborate home before she could utter a sound. Somehow he felt he could hear her screaming for his return inside his head.

_SS/HG_

How could he leave her like that? Hermione shook as she sat across from the two people who had now been placed in position of family and took a deep breath. She had to calm herself down, obviously Severus was in no state to do it for her.

Merlin the man would be receiving quite the earful when he returned to her. A shot of fear coursed down her spine, _if he returned to her._ Severus had never given her cause to doubt him though and so she shook off the thought and turned her attention back to her new family, she wanted to learn everything she could about them, about her heritage.

She blatantly ignored the fact this meant she was related to Bellatrix Lestrange, it wouldn’t do to drive herself insane with the knowledge.

_SS/HG_

“Git.”

“Weasel.”

“Ponce.”

“Plebian.”

“Ferret.”  
“Stop it you two right now.” Harry huffed a sigh as he insinuated himself between his best friend, and his boyfriend. How he’d ever thought he could survive without Hermione to help him run interference was beyond him. It had been a week since the witch had left and he found his temper wearing thin with the arguing pair that surrounded him at all times.

He wondered how Hermione was, it had been a week since she’d left the school and things only seemed to be growing stranger by the day. Professor Snape had returned, according to Draco, to hash things out with Dumbledore, who he was not entirely convinced was Dumbledore at all, and no one had heard a word from Hermione in that time.

It seemed odd, even to a boy as thick as Harry Potter, the boy who lived, that Snape had come back to the school sans Hermione. It seemed as if they had been inseparable for a long time and now to see the Professor traveling without her did not bode well to him. He hoped that this did not mean he had messed things up with Harry’s friend. He knew he wouldn’t fare well in a duel against Severus Snape but certainly couldn’t promise he wouldn’t instigate one if the man had hurt his best friend.

“Knut for your thoughts, Harry?” He was torn from his thoughts by Draco who was looking at him curiously. He realized Ron must have stormed off whilst he’d been reflecting on Hermione and shook his head.

“I’m thinking about Hermione, why isn’t she here?” Draco took Harry’s hand in his own much slenderer appendage and stroked the inside of his palm with the pad of his thumb.

“He won’t speak with me on the matter, but I believe he may have royally messed up with her.” Draco spoke, stormy eyes sincere as they stared at one another.

“I think it’s time to owl her, I’ve been waiting but whatever is happening she isn’t reaching out on her own…not like she normally would.” Draco pulled him into a firm hug and Harry could feel him nod his head against his shoulder.

“If that is what you want to do then it is probably for the best, that infamous gut of yours is rarely wrong.” Draco smirked in response as he broke their embrace and Harry couldn’t help the grin that split his face.

“I really should still hate you, but how can I when you say such pretty words?”

“I will say even prettier things to you this evening, love.” Draco whispered in his ear before turning and trotting off toward his charms class, Harry in his wake looking dumbfounded.

_SS/HG_

Hermione tossed another set of robes into her trunk and kicked the lid shut with her foot. Olly watched her with resignation, the elf’s long ears pointed to the floor.

“Olly is going to be missing Olly’s mistress.” Hermione smiled softly as the elf spoke and pressed a hand to the top of the elf’s head. Olly had demanded status as Hermione’s personal house elf and no matter how she’d tried to resist the elf had insisted until she’d broken and given in.

Severus had walked out the door without so much as a word a month earlier and so far the only way she’d managed to keep tabs on the man was through Harry, whom she’d begun writing in her second week in her new home. She’d taken the Selwyn name almost as soon as she had become functional again, and if she’d cried herself to sleep every night since Severus left her then she wouldn’t be admitting it anytime soon.

She was headed to Hogwarts, they had discovered the use of the Imeperius curse on Minerva and the elder witch had been released from its hold. She’d been outraged to discover the state of the school and had agreed that Hermione should return as soon as possible to complete her schooling, even if they were forced to sneak her in right under Dumbledore’s nose (which luckily was not the case).

Harry had also shared with her his suspicions that the Headmaster was not truly who he was supposed to be, citing the incident with Moody as an example of why he needed to be taken seriously and so, Hermione found herself returning to Hogwarts much sooner than she might have anticipated, with a new name and a new family backing her they found that it hadn’t been so difficult to bully her way back into the school. She would be attending her regular classes as if nothing had ever happened.

A wicked smile curled Hermione’s lips as she thought about the coming days. Severus was, as of yet, unaware of her return, and wouldn’t he be surprised?


	36. XXXV - Redeant in Coniunctionem

 

 _(_ _R_ _edeant in_ _C_ _oniunctionem_ _\- Reunited)_

“Merlin Hermione! I’ve missed you!”

“Me too! Shove over Harry!” Hermione was immediately assaulted upon her entry into the Gryffindor common room. Harry and Ron wrapped her in the fiercest hug she’d been victim to since her run in with the basilisk and she smiled at them when they finally released her and allowed her to breathe.

“Well, look who the cat dragged in.” Draco drawled from behind them and she grinned, darting up to wrap him in a hug as well.

“I’ve missed you all so much.” She gushed upon releasing Draco and turning back to her friends. It had been nice familiarizing herself with her family, but this was her truest family, the people she’d chosen to surround herself with. The people she adored.

“Not as much as we’ve missed you, I assure you.” Draco smirked, and Hermione cocked an eyebrow.

“These two argue all the time, drive me mad.” Harry huffed.

“Please, how can we argue all the time when all you two do is snog?” Ron sniped, and Hermione pressed her lips tightly together to stifle a laugh, her eyes glittering happy mirth. “Sorry, by the way, for everything I put you through Hermione, I dunno what got up my arse, but I swear, I’ll make it up to you.” Hermione grinned broadly at this and hugged the redheaded wizard tightly once again.

“Thank you, Ron, that means a lot to me.”

“So, Granger, how was your little vacation?” Draco cocked an eyebrow as they made their way to a set of sofas, if any of the Gryffindors thought Draco’s presence was odd they didn’t say anything, and Hermione thought Harry must bring him round a lot.

“Selwyn now, thank you.” Hermione pretended to adopt the haughty air Draco often demonstrated and was promptly smacked in the face with a pillow. Spluttering she laughed and tossed the pillow back at a laughing Harry before shaking her head and looking down. “It was fine, I learned a lot about my family, my heritage,” she paused.

“Bet you read every book on them you could get your swot hands on.” Ron scoffed, and Hermione shot him a glare but carried on.

“My father was actually Regulus Black, I think that was why Severus left me like he did.” She ended quietly and the three looked at her somberly.

“He seems to be quite miserable, if that makes you feel better.” Harry offered, and Hermione shot him a look before shaking her head with a soft smile.

“He doesn’t feel half the misery that he will when he sees me again.”

“It scares me when she pulls that look.” Ron stage whispered to Harry who nodded in agreement.

“I personally cannot wait to see what she has in store for him.” Draco smirked wickedly, earning a matching look from Hermione.

_SS/HG_

The boys supplied Hermione with meals for the rest of the weekend, the four of them bunking up in the Gryffindor common room and discussing everything that had happened over the past several months.

It had been decided, at least amongst them, that Dumbledore was absolutely _not_ himself. Hermione had posed the very strong thought that he wouldn’t be under Imperius like McGonagall, is Occlumency was too strong. That left only one option- an imposter- and the group couldn’t decide whether they thought Dumbledore may be alive or dead.

What they did know however was that something needed to be done about it, and quickly.

Settling into her bed on Sunday night Hermione thought about the coming day. She had potions first thing in the morning and based on the fluttering of her stomach already she wouldn’t be eating breakfast.

That was all well and good, she didn’t want him to see her until she sat down in his classroom.

She considered the old adage about a woman scorned as she drifted to sleep that night, steeling herself against the love she felt for the idiot wizard. She would bring him back to her, with an apology. She was not fool enough to think the wizard might beg, but she did intend to make him wish he were the begging type.

Hermione woke early and dressed in her nicest clothes beneath her black school robes. She knew she wouldn’t be allowing Severus to see her in them, but the confidence boost was much needed. She smoothed her hair, the way her grandmother had taught her, to turn it into large looping curls that just brushed her shoulders. It grew at a ridiculous rate, but she didn’t mind it much at the length it was. Hermione didn’t feel like she looked like herself when she looked in the mirror, this was someone else, someone beautiful and poised, neither of which the witch felt.

Pasting on her best smile she left the room and made her way to join Harry and Ron in the common room. Ron had carried a handful of sausage from breakfast and offered her one, to which she wrinkled her nose, before continuing to stuff his face.

“Remember, if you need anything just say.” Harry gave her a firm side hug before the pair escorted her out into the hall. They met with Draco in the dungeons who took Harry’s hand in his before the group walked into the potions room.

Severus stood at the board, scribbling in his looping script when Hermione and the boys entered. She took her place at a table with Ron, Harry and Draco stationed behind them, and despite her rioting nerves began to remove her items from her bag and prepare for the lesson. She almost wished he wouldn’t turn around and see her.

His leaving her had punched a hole in her heart, left her feeling hollow and sad. Now seeing him she almost forgot why he needed to be taught a lesson in the first place. No matter the wizard’s reasoning he couldn’t instantly be forgiven for this. He said he loved her, he said he would do anything to stay with her.

Hermione felt the return of her rage as she thought on how long she’d gone without hearing a word from him. Yes, no matter what his problem was, she didn’t deserve this, and she knew it.

When Severus did finally turn from the board his eyes swept across the filling classroom, as if taking inventory. For a moment they brushed across her and she thought he wouldn’t acknowledge her at all, but then his eyes swept back and locked on her face, his black eyes dark as they stayed trained on her own eyes. She wet her lips, pretending not to notice the intense moment between them before turning to her book and opening it to a random page, anything to escape his gaze.

“Ms. Granger, what are you doing here?”

“It is Ms. Selwyn now, actually, and I am like any other student, here to learn, Professor.” She knew the moment her cold tone stabbed straight through him, his eyes locked on hers showing the flinch that his body would not.

_SS/HG_

At first he’d thought her an apparition, one like the many he’d seen over his time parted from the witch. However, when his eyes flicked back to find the fiery gaze still locked on him at the front of the room his breath stalled in his chest and he was certain his heart stuttered.

She was here, she was sitting in front of him and Merlin she looked angry. It had been different when he’d only been forced to see her face in dreams but now, looking at her sitting in his classroom his stomach squirmed and his heart clenched dangerously.

He’d left the witch for her own good. He was older than her father for Merlin’s sake! Still, she stared at him and he felt himself all but collapsing under her gaze.

“Ms. Granger, what are you doing here?” His voice managed to remain cold, impassive, though inside he felt anything but.

“It is Ms. Selwyn now, actually, and I am like any other student, here to learn, Professor.” The cold tone, the way her eyes pierced him, she may as well have cut him straight through to the bone and he cringed inwardly at the pain that seemed to underlie her words. Merlin he’d hurt her, he’d hurt himself. Staring at her now he wondered to what end? What had he achieved if she was only going to return and torment him. He was saving her, damnit!

Her eyes left him, turning to her book stoically and he forced down a groan.

“Turn to page one hundred and fifty-three, we will be studying a fairly simple potion…” He forced himself into his teacher persona, his eyes still fighting to stray to Hermione’s form.

Gods she looked good, a bit gaunt but so beautifully there, well in his classroom.

Why had she decided to come back, and Merlin help him how would he resist her?


	37. XXXVI - Voluptatem et Dolorem

 

_(Voluptatem et Dolorem - Pleasure and Pain)_

The witch paced, agitated, across the large expanse of the Headmaster’s quarters and back. He’d disappeared, as if he’d never been there at all. Pale blonde curls spilled down her back as she tried to contain the breathing that made her chest heave rapidly up and down. She still wore the Headmaster’s bright periwinkle robes and ridiculous spectacles, far too stressed to remove them and concentrate on anything other than her anxiety at having lost the wizard.

The Dark Lord would be furious with her.

“You called for me, Tatyana?” A sharp voice called from the doorway and sharp black eyes turned on the witch who stood there. Dressed in pink from head to toe was Dolores Umbridge and Tatyana smirked to herself.

“Yes, yes dear Dolores.” She summoned the other witch into the room with a smile that spoke an innocence such a witch no longer possessed. She wasn’t going to fall out of her Lord’s favor for losing the wizard, in fact, she wasn’t going to be taking the blame at all. “You’ve done good work here, Dolores, I’m sorry it’s come to this.” Before the other witch could react, Tatyana cast a strong stunning curse and watched as she fell to the floor in a heap of pink.

Now she had much to do, she needed to frame Dolores for Dumbledore’s disappearance, and disappear herself- she was certain the old man would return soon, and she certainly wouldn’t be in his path.

_SS/HG_

“Harry, you really should have this looked at.” Hermione grasped her friend’s hand, staring down at the word carved into the tanned skin that stretched thin across its back.

“It isn’t anything to worry about, I’ve had worse. Now we need to talk about what is going on with Snape.” He snatched his hand away and tucked it under his leg on the sofa. Hermione gave him a sharp look but sank back into her seat with a heavy sigh.

“Professor Snape, Harry, and I don’t know what is going on with him. He found out about my parentage and left. I can only assume that he was disturbed by what he discovered and no longer wishes to be associated with me.” She fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, eyes locked on the blue fabric. “Honestly though, I don’t want to talk about this, not right now.” She shifted her eyes up to Harry’s, all but pleading with him to let the topic drop for the moment. He nodded and glanced across the room to Draco and Ron playing chess.

“At least when they insult each other it’s warranted in chess.” He snorted a laugh and turned bright green eyes back to her. She sniffed and rubbed her nose briefly before glancing to the entrance to the common room.

“I think I’m going to have a walk, I’ll bring back some dittany for that scar.” She shot a pointed look to the hand Harry had removed from beneath his leg and heaved herself to a stand.

“Be safe, Hermione.” Harry called at her, watching as she slipped from the common room and into the chilly castle hall.

Hermione pulled her robes more tightly around herself. Not quite paying attention to where it was she was going as she walked aimlessly through the labyrinthian halls of the castle. Getting lost was quickly becoming one of her favorite past times and she enjoyed the feeling of not know where she was. It was almost as if she could forget who she was and simply exist. It was nice.

Smashing into another body had not been on her mind as she walked through the halls and when she hit the floor with a solid thud she was almost certain she’d managed to break her tailbone.

Looking up with an apology on her lips found her staring into an unfamiliar female face and the apology died on her lips.

“Who are you?” She demanded as she stood, the blonde witch cocked an eyebrow at her before setting a most unsettling sneer on her face.

“I hardly see how that is your business, little girl.” She hissed, there was a slight accent- though Hermione couldn’t place it- she thought it sounded a bit like Viktor’s.

“It very much is my business, now state your name and your purpose before I report you to the Headmaster…” Hermione’s haughty tone died on a squeak when a wand was pressed insistently to her throat.

“You won’t be saying a word to anyone for so long as you live, girly.” A dark smile crawled across the woman’s face. Hermione heard a scream, though who it belonged to she couldn’t have said.

_SS/HG_

Severus writhed in his bed, his body covered in a thin sheen of sweat as he came awake not for the first time that night. Black eyes flicked around the room with a certain desperation before settling on the empty side of his bed.

How long had it been since she’d shared a bed with him? Too long, despite her retained innocence having her there had meant something to him.

“Gods and Merlin Regulus, why did she have to be yours?” He cradled his head in long fingers, lank black hair falling through their gaps as he grasped at his head. There was a pounding ache just behind his eyes, one he’d suffered every day since he’d walked away from Hermione.

His Hermione. How was she coping with her new family? She’d seemed okay in his class earlier in the week. She hardly cast him a glance over the past several classes. Not even looking up to ask him a question.

His fingers massaged his scalp roughly, wishing for all the world it was her hands in his hair, her body pressed close to his, warming him.

He was so cold.

A pounding knock on the door to his rooms startled him from his thoughts and he growled to himself. Not even in the middle of the night could he have peace!

Forcing himself from his bed and wrapping himself tightly in a black night robe he tossed the door open with a rage that he felt all the way to his toes. A rage that died the moment he saw the limp figure of Hermione hanging over his godson’s arms.

“Circe, what happened?” He snatched her quickly and pulled her against his chest, making Draco teeter forwards before catching himself. Potter was behind him, he was saying something but the blood thrumming in Severus’ eardrums seemed to block out all sound. Her breath against his neck was the only sign of life in the witch- pale, paler than he himself- he strode to his bed and quickly deposited her there, she was cold as ice.

“We don’t know, we found her in the hall’s like this. There was blood, but I don’t think it was hers.” Draco’s explanation finally hit Severus’ ears and he cast a diagnostic spell, she was alive, but she was weak.

“No sign of the perpetrator?” Severus snapped as he covered her in blankets and began rubbing her chilled limbs, trying to encourage circulation.

“No sir.” Draco gave a solemn shake of his head when Severus’ eyes snapped up to him.

Hermione moaned, and all eyes fell back to her.

“Can you help her?” Potter demanded, and Severus turned dark eyes back to him.

“Leave us, I will do my best. Expect an owl with her status come morning.” He bit out as Hermione gave another low moan. He couldn’t be certain, but it sounded more like a noise of pleasure than pain.

As the boys left he ran a hand across her cheek and she gave another throaty moan. He paused, stilling in his caress as he observed the witch before him.

He touched two fingers gently to her throat and watched as her back arched and she gave a deep moan. Something deep in his groin stirred at the action and he cursed under his breath.

He had a fair idea what curse, incredibly dark, that would make her react like that.

It would mean the impossible though…Death eaters, in the castle, at least one.

“Gods what have you gotten us into now Hermione?”


	38. XXXVII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back to begin writing again. Unfortunately because of a lack of internet I will only be updating on the weekends (Saturday or Sunday) but this also means more than one chapter at once so there's a bonus.
> 
> Sorry if it feels rushed, I really needed to get this story back on track! Thank you for your patience and comments.

Severus Snape was the kind of man who constantly second guessed every decision he made. What would benefit those around him more? What would keep those important alive? What would be the best course of action when dealing with little witch’s who relied on him to care for them?

He’d decided that separating himself from Hermione would be his best course of action in this instance. Discovering she was the biological daughter of one of his closest friends in school, finding out she was a Black, a pureblood. It had been too much, but now, staring at her as she was, forced into a magically induced sleep he couldn’t help but regret that decision.

What if she didn’t come out on the other side of this entirely sane? The spell that had been used would drive her body mad with a combination of pleasure and pain.

“How is she?” The voice was a familiar one and Severus cast a look over his shoulder to see the familiar visage of Albus Dumbledore behind him.

“When did the imposter take over, Albus, how long was it you before I was driven from the school?” His voice was flat, dead, he didn’t care anymore, not if Hermione- his Hermione- didn’t recover.

“It was me, for the most part.” Came the solemn voice from behind him, he nodded, knowing that to be the case. The Dark Lord had no reason to drive Severus from the castle, or from Hermione. “She is a distraction Severus, you must see this now, if ever you could have.” The old wizard was imploring him to see his reason, Severus would not be swayed. “She may die, and if this kills her what will you do? Will you sink into a depression and become useless to the light? I must know that you will continue to fight!”

“Does nothing else matter to you Albus?” Any righteous indignation he might have felt was sapped away as soon as it entered his mind. Any emotion he could conjure was immediate lost when he looked at the sweep of thick, dark lashes against soft, pale cheeks.

“It will not be a world worth living in if we fail now.” Albus touched a hand to Severus’ shoulder, who pulled away as if he’d been scalded by the elder wizard.

“I think you should leave.” He’d never been so pleased to hear Potter’s voice as he was when it rang out through the room. This was a public access to his chambers, a room he’d set up so her friends could visit her, without her having to be sent away to the hospital wing and taken from him. He really needed to set some sort of ward, he was realizing. Having others coming and going from his dungeons was beginning to grate on his nerves.

“Harry...” Albus trailed, Severus didn’t look at them, couldn’t be bothered to watch anything but the soft rise and fall of Hermione’s chest.

“He’s right, you need to leave.” Came Weasley’s voice chiming in on the matter. Severus wanted to feel annoyed that the boy was there, really, he did, but he could only feel the same way he’d felt since Hermione had been brought to him a week ago, completely numb.

“Come now, boys, you must understand...” He was cut off this time by Draco.

“No, you must understand, this war is not in your hands anymore, old man.” He could feel the rage bubbling, Albus’ magic begging to lash out.

“He’s right, Professor. This is our war now, and we are going to fight it our way. When Hermione wakes up,” Severus’ head shot up at Potter’s words, “and she will wake up, she will help us figure out how best to fight, and how best to win.”

“I am the headmaster of this school! The leader of the Order of The Phoenix! I will not so easily be cast aside; you boys have much to learn if you think overthrowing a wizard of my stature will come easily.” Severus snorted.

“Have you told the boy? Have you told him of his seats with the Wizengamot? Of his Lordship?” Severus finally turned to cock an eyebrow, his hand still curled around Hermione’s. The look on Albus’ face was all the answer he needed. “Of course, you have not. Potter, we have much to discuss. You will return later, after I have had a chance to rest.”

“You won’t disregard me like this!” Albus was fuming, Severus couldn’t be bothered to care.

“Leave.”

“I will have you banned from this school! This relationship is a gross abuse of your power over a student!” Severus turned back to Hermione, her eyelids were fluttering ever so slightly. Oh, but her rage at hearing something like that if she were awake would be explosive.

He promised himself in that moment he would never leave her side again if she woke up. If she did not lose her mind to the curse, he would never, ever give up what he had with the fiery little witch again.

“She is of age, Albus, and has been since this relationship began. I have the blessing of her family; the Grangers are no longer in the picture.” He finally answered the elder wizard bluntly.

“If he leaves the school I leave.” Potter spoke up and Severus turned to stare at him hard. “If you go, Hermione goes, if she goes, I go as well.”

“Not splitting up the golden trio again, are we?” Severus smirked.

“And of course, that means I will go as well. And you know if I leave mum and dad will want to know why, you could lose Order members over this.” The redhead sounded casual, relaxed.

“Father would not be pleased if I parted ways with this school, but it would be necessary. I’ve already defected, I see no reason to stay here without Harry.”

“None of you will do any such thing.” Severus turned back to see the owner of the feminine voice, her eyes wide. “You will complete your education if it kills me.” Hermione groaned softly as her eyes fluttered open and her head shifted so she was looking at Severus, whose heart had subsequently dropped right out his arse.

“’Mione!” Potter cheered with glee, the witch gave a weak smile and nod.

“Yes, it would appear that is who I am, could we turn down the lights, please?” Severus immediately flicked his wand to that end. Hermione coughed, and he gripped her hand tightly. Albus still looked to be on the verge of conniption but Severus couldn’t find it in him to care about anything but the wide caramel eyes staring up at him. “You are all incredibly loud. As for you headmaster, I am afraid you will be forced to sit this one out. It is no longer your place to control this war. We are coming of age, we are ready. It’s time you let go of this power trip before it consumes you.”

Albus had nothing to say to that, instead he stormed from the room, leaving a laughing Weasley and Potter behind. Draco rolled his eyes but came closer to Hermione’s bedside.

It took everything in Severus not to curl over her in protective position, wanting nothing more than to have her to himself, to check her over and be certain she was well.

“Now that’s out of the way I would like some time alone with my _fiancé_.” It was a bit unnerving the way she hissed his former title, he’d been nearly certain she would be done with him after everything he had put her through.

“We’ll come back later, ‘Mi, don’t be too hard on him.” Potter chuckled, Weasley offered her a smile as he followed the other young wizard out. Severus could see it now, in his gait, in the way he moved. Potter was a confident young adult, he would grow into a fierce man if he carried on this path. Severus’ eyes flicked up to Draco.

“He’s going to annihilate the Dark Lord, he’s been training ceaselessly. Feel better.” Draco shocked Severus by pressing a kiss to the top of Hermione’s head before he turned to leave. Her smile dropped to something more serious as soon as they were alone.

Merlin, he had a lot to make up for.


	39. XXXVIII

“You have a lot of talking to do.” Hermione was pulling herself to a sitting position, her eyes locked hard on Severus. He felt a chill race down his spine. Merlin she was something when she was angry. “But first you’re going to feed me, and tell me how beautiful I am.” He could see them then, the tears gathering on the edges of her lashes.

He didn’t allow his desires to be held back, surging forward he grasped her in a tight embrace and pulled her into his lap, against his chest. “Oh Hermione, dove,” he crooned, stroking her soft hair with one hand as the other held her tightly. She emitted a sob that was unlike anything he’d ever heard, and his heart broke just that little bit more in that instant.

“It hurt so much, but it felt so good, and I’ve never, I never thought, I can’t...” She couldn’t form words for the hiccupping sobs and he stroked her back with long fingers, his hand still moving across her soft hair.

“I know, love, I know. It’s okay now, it passed, thank Merlin it passed.” He spoke softly into her ear, his upper body rocking her as she clutched to him for dear life. “You’re so beautiful, and so precious, and I’m so sorry for what I put you through. Hermione, I love you, so very much.” He pressed his lips to her temple, she seemed to be calming and soon she was simply snuggled against him, eyes closed and hands grasping the front of his robes.

“I love you too.” Her stomach gave a roar of protest, Hermione giggled as Severus pulled back to stare at her.

“Food for the dove, and then I will tell you anything you wish to know.” He settled her back into the transfigured bed she’d been laying on but she didn’t release him. “I suppose I can summon a house elf.” He cocked an eyebrow at the witch who was clutching him.

“I suppose you must, considering the very thought of letting you go and risking you never coming back makes me feel entirely too sick.” Her concern was his doing, and he would not ridicule her for it, no, he would let her cling tightly to him and soothe her until she believed and trusted in him again. It was exactly what he owed to the witch, that and so much more.

_SS/HG_

“Are you ready to explain what exactly you were thinking, now?” Hermione gave him a pointed look. She looked better, after eating a meal and having a nap. He could tell by the way she shuddered softly every so often she was suffering the residual effects of the _Voluptatem et Dolorum_ curse but frankly was too much of a coward to say anything about it. She was already angry with him, he didn’t want to do anything that might make her more so. He’d settled on the decision that if she showed extreme stress he would stop her, but otherwise he would give her what she wanted.

“I went to school with Regulus, I was in the year above him, he followed me into the inner circle.” Severus took a deep breath, eyes closing. He didn’t expect to feel a hand caress his head, the kind touch was almost more than he could stand.

It was certainly more than he deserved.

“What has that to do with me, Severus? Please, explain it to me.” She was all but begging him now and he took a deep breath, swallowing down his anxiety.

“He’s your biological father, Merlin Hermione! I’m older than your father!” He opened his eyes to find her staring at him with a bemused expression. His stomach turned over inside him.

“Obviously that was a possibility from the beginning, are your feelings for me changed? Did you stop loving me when you found out who my father was?” He could see the anxiety in her caramel eyes and shook his head. Her fingers grasped to his hair as she stared up at him.

“No, I still love you, Gods Hermione I love you more than I can begin to describe. I’m a terrible man, I’m not good for you, I will only hurt you in the end, just like Regulus, just like everyone else I’ve ever expressed feelings for.” Severus finally admitted every thought that had consumed him since the day he’d learned of her parentage. He didn’t want to cause her death as well, he didn’t want to be the one to hurt her. He didn’t know if he’d survive it.

“I see.” Hermione began, her fingers hooked beneath his chin as she drew his face up to look into her own. “I’m not going anywhere Severus, nothing is going to happen to me, not now, not during the war, and not after. I cannot promise I will live forever, but if something does happen it won’t be because of you. Don’t you understand? Those people made their decisions just as surely as you made your own. It doesn’t matter that you were there first, that you helped guide them on that path. It was their decision to make. You are my decision to make. I love you, git.”

Severus couldn’t stop himself, he surged forward and pressed his lips to Hermione’s harshly, his fingers grasping in her hair as he attempted to consume her.

Her moan was a desperate cross between pleasure and pain that forced him to pull back, her eyes were still closed as he stared into her face.

“Please don’t abandon me again, please.” She spoke through puffy lips, her eyes closed and her face pinched.

“Never, never Hermione, Gods I’m sorry.” He held her face tight his fingers grasped the sides of her head as he stared into her eyes.

“Good, now I’m exhausted, come here and lay with me, please?” It wasn’t difficult for him to pull himself into the bed beside her. He wrapped her in his arms and for the first time in more than a month slept soundly.

_SS/HG_

“We really need to have Hermione on board with this plan before we go on.”

“No to mention the Headmaster knows what is going on now.”

“And you can’t forget the DA has been having issues with the pink menace, Harry.” Ron added, both other boys looked over at him from their position side by side on the sofa.

“I don’t think she will be a problem much longer.” Hermione’s voice cut into their silence and all three looked up to see her.

“What do you mean ‘Mi? I’m so glad you’re up and about.” Hermione smiled at Harry’s earnest response. It had taken her a full week after waking up to recover from the residual effects of the curse she’d been hit with, and then another week before Severus would release her from her bed rest. She’d taken the time to prepare for her NEWTS which she planned to take as soon as possible.

“I mean, the toad has been taken by Voldemort,” Draco winced, “because she apparently had a role in Dumbledore’s imposter, and subsequent escape. She will not be returning for the rest of the year, if what Severus relayed to me is correct.”

“Thank Merlin, that’s one obstacle out of the way then.” Harry heaved a sigh of relief. Ron shifted in his seat, blue eyes wide.

“What about Dumbledore now? We have to account for his interference.” Ron shifted a chess piece on the board in front of him and watched as it crushed one of Draco’s pieces.

“He’s drunk on power, Ronald, it may be that we can’t trust him at all at this point, what’s worse is he may attempt to get in our way.”

“So much for having the only wizard Voldemort was ever afraid of on our side.” Harry grumbled, moved a piece out of the line of Ron’s fire for Draco, and smirked at the bewildered look on his redheaded friend’s face.

“We need to find a way to call a meeting of the Order without him, we also need to bring the DA, at least those old enough, into it as well.” Hermione stared closely at the chess board. “Ron, can you get in touch with Fred and George? They may be our best bet at getting the Order all in one place without Dumbledore.”

“Yeah, I’ll be in touch this evening.”

“Harry, Draco, it’s up to you to get the DA to Grimmauld to be in the same place with the Order. When do we want this meeting to take place? Keep in mind once this happens we are setting things in motion that will likely move quickly.” Harry nodded at her question.

“We can take care of all that, don’t worry. How are we going to lure old snake face out?”

“Severus and Lucius have a plan for that.” At their surprised faces she smiled. “What, you didn’t think you were the only ones plotting all of this time, did you?”

“Now we just need to be sure you’re ready for him, Harry.” Ron had a look of nervousness and anticipation on his face.

“Has the DA made any progress on the horcruxes?” Hermione knew this would be their biggest obstacle.

“Luna brought us Ravenclaw’s Diadem, we destroyed Hufflepuff’s Chalice, Riddle’s ring was taken care of by Dumbledore. Slytherin’s locket was dealt with, all that’s left is Nagini.” Ron ran down the list.

“Good, she’ll be the hardest, but we can do this. We’re close.”


	40. XXXIX

_XXXIX_

“I want to get married.” Hermione’s voice filled their room with a soft, nervous sort of lilt. Severus paused in his reading to look over at the witch occupying the space beside him.

“Unless I misunderstood we were planning to do just that, love.” He cocked an eyebrow when she turned large brown eyes on him.

“No, I mean I want to get married now, tomorrow, as soon as we can, before we finish the war, before anything can happen.”

“Hermione, I understand you are concerned about what we face but—certainly you should think this through just a bit more, shouldn’t you?” She was worrying her bottom lip, tears gathering at the corner of her eyes and Severus felt his stomach lurch, his heart was on a mad course straight for his throat. “Oh, dove, that isn’t to say I wouldn’t like to marry you now.” He groaned, how was it he always managed to bollocks these things up?

“Severus,” she clutched at him, her arms hooked around his neck. “I don’t want to regret a single moment of my life, I don’t want to look back when it’s all over and think I missed something. I want to bond, be married, to be with you forever.” He stroked a hand up and down her back as she clutched to him tightly and Severus knew there was nothing he could say to argue with that.

“Get your dunderheads together, we will be bonded Saturday.” Her bright grin when she pulled back away from him was enough to tell him for once, even just this once, he’d made the right decision. “Best you send a letter to your grandparents as well, they’ll want to be involved in your little endeavor. Will three days be enough time?” He cocked an eyebrow in question and she nodded rapidly.

His lips sought hers and he kissed her, deeply, fiercely, drawing out the kiss for as long as either could stand before pulling apart and resting his forehead against hers.

“Thank you, thank you so much, Severus.”

“For you, anything.” He grunted, lowered himself into the bed and pulled Hermione down beside him before dousing the lights. “Now sleep, impertinent witch, you have much planning to do if you wish to be a bride in less than a week.”

_SS/HG_

When Hermione found Harry and Draco the former was curled in the latter’s arms sobbing. It didn't take a genius to realize rather instantly that something was very wrong with her best friend.

“What's going on?” she immediately felt her good mood from her chat with Severus evaporate as she finished stepping into the room. Draco looked up at her over Harry’s head and gave an exhausted sigh.

“Dumbledore called him. Apparently, he had bad news.” Draco pressed lips to Harry's head. “Shall I tell her love?” Harry sniffed and nodded, not moving.

“Dumbledore informed Harry of the last of the prophecy and what he believes it means.” Hermione squinted at he's words.

“The bit about neither being able to live at the same time?” Ron piped from behind Hermione. She hadn't even heard him come in.

“And what did he say?”

“He believes _Harry_ is the final horcrux, he believes both must die.” Hermione didn't wait to hear any more. She turned on her heel and stormed from the room. That was absurd, the very act of love that saved Harry would have prevented the horcrux forming.

She needed a word with a mad headmaster. Right. Now.

_SS/HG_

 Hermione found Professor McGonagall in her office near Gryffindor tower. The elder witch looked much older than her years and incredibly tired. Hermione felt bad for a moment, for interrupting what little solitude the witch had found in order to bring her along for the conversation with Dumbledore.

The door to the head of house’s office was open, as it always was when she wasn’t with a student, and Hermione poked her head in with a soft smile.

“Professor, I’m sorry to bother you.” Keen eyes shot up from the desk where they were focused and the elder witch smiled.

“I’m so glad to see you back my dear, never a bother, come in, come in.” She stood to usher Hermione into the office. The younger witch fidgeted with anxiety before taking a seat in the chair offered her, slick leather cool beneath her as she sat. “Would you like some tea dear? I’m so glad you’ve returned to finish your education.” She sounded tired and Hermione shook her head.

“No thank you, ma’am, I was hoping I could enlist your assistance with something.” Hermione bit her lip, going right to the point. Severus would be proud. She almost scoffed at the thought, he was still making up for his wrongs, and would be for a time longer she suspected.

“Of course, what can I do for you?”

“Well, first I would like to invite you to my wedding this weekend.” Hermione smiled softly. “If it wouldn’t be too much trouble I would be honored to have you ‘walk me down the aisle’ so to speak. Severus and I have decided it would be best to simply complete our bonding before anything else decides to attempt to come between us.”

“I would be honored! But are you certain your newly discovered family won’t have an issue with this?”

“Oh, I’ve known you much longer than them, and I really respect you. They of course have their own special place, Grandmother is absolutely ecstatic about making all of the preparations. No Death Eater shenanigans will be accepted either, in case you were wondering.” Hermione stroked her hand thoughtlessly across a feather quill that lay nearest her on the desk. Professor McGonagall nodded, her eyes wet with restrained tears.

“I am sorry for all that you have gone through this year, dear girl, you have to know I never would have…I just can’t imagine how it happened.” Hermione understood her upset. Minerva McGonagall was a powerful witch, a master of her craft, and formidable on her worst days. It was a wonder anyone had managed to get to the elder witch.

“No apology necessary, just say you’ll be the one to present me at the bonding.” Hermione kept that soft smile on her face while the other witch agreed and congratulated her. “The other thing I need your help with is much less pleasant.”

“I’d thought as much.” McGonagall put on her stern face and nodded, her keen eyes narrowed. “It has to do with Albus no doubt.”

“No one knows him better than you, something is wrong. He’s not acting right, even though it is him sitting in that office he still isn’t acting like him.”

“Do you think it could be an outside influence?”

“Severus doubts it, he told me the Headmaster’s mental blocks are strong enough that he is nearly impervious to such magic.” Hermione bit her lip. “I think he’s power drunk, and I think it has something to do with the Riddle ring he destroyed for us.”

“I see, and how do you suggest we deal with this?” The elder witch appeared to be interested in Hermione’s ideas and she was grateful for it. She’d been worried Minerva wouldn’t take her seriously, and she needed to be taken seriously.

“First, we need to get a meeting of the Order and the DA together, the boys are working on that, can you keep the Headmaster busy, distract him while we speak with everyone? He could ruin a critical moment if he stumbles upon our plans.”

“I know exactly what to do my dear, just tell me when and I will keep him occupied.” Hermione nodded and thanked the other witch with a hug before she left, feeling a weight that she hadn’t realized she’d been carrying lift from her shoulders.

Now she only needed to speak with Dumbledore about what he’d said to Harry, and that was going to be a tad more difficult than speaking to Minerva, she was certain.


	41. XL

_XXXX_

“I told you I could handle this myself.” Hermione hissed a whisper, her eyes narrowed on the figure of her fiancé standing in front of the door to Dumbledore’s office with his arms crossed across his chest and obsidian eyes trained on her face.

“And I told you that it didn’t matter that you _can_ , because you will _not_.” He drawled back, his tone relaxed despite the turmoil she could see behind his eyes.

“Severus, I can’t have you explode in there.” Hermione leveled her gaze on him, her lips pressed to a thin line.

“And I won’t have you in there alone with him, he’s not himself Hermione.” He held her gaze, dark eyes never leaving her face.

“You have to trust me to do this!”

“It isn’t you I do not trust!” He had taken several steps forward and was grasping her by her shoulders, his dark eyes boring into hers. “I will not lose you.” He bit out, his tone brokering no argument.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Her tone softened and her shoulders relaxed in his hold, her eyes still held his.

“And you are not going in there without me. Hermione- Dove, you are too precious, too important, I cannot simply stand by and watch you confront a wizard with so much power, and so many years over your own.” His eyes were pleading. “You must let me come with you.”

“Severus,” fingertips came up to touch the side of his face, trailing his cheek before coming up to catch in long black hair. “Okay but _try_ not to breathe fire.” She fixed him in a stern gaze before rising to her toes and pressing her lips to his. He responded immediately by grasping the sides of her head in large hands and tipping her face back. His tongue parted her lips to explore her mouth and she could only submit to the domineering kiss.

Finally, when his lips left hers they did so by pecking soft little kisses against her lips, each shorter than the other until he was simply staring into her eyes.

“I make no promises on the fire bringing front, I shall do my best not to torture the old bastard, however.” Hermione sighed, shook her head, and freed herself from his grasp to turn toward the door. It was a wonder he hadn’t heard their bickering and opened it himself.

“Shall we then?” She cocked an eyebrow at her future husband and the sneer he’d worn staring at the door fell from his face when he turned to her.

“I suppose it is better now than never.” He knocked on the door, his wraps hard and succinct, much like many of the other things the man did.

“Come in.” Called from the other side of the door and Severus opened the heavy wooden blockade, allowed Hermione to proceed him inside, and then followed with a sweep of his robes.

The first thing to strike Hermione upon entering the Headmaster’s office was the complete state of disarray the place seemed to be in. His pensieve was out, tipped over on its side and empty of contents. His sweets bowl was empty, his desk covered in papers and plans, there was a chess board on the floor, the pieces scattered about and Hermione kicked one accidentally upon entering. The wizard himself was a mess as well, his half-moon spectacles askew on his face and his long white beard appeared to be quite gnarled and knotted.

“Albus? Merlin what is going on in here?” Severus obviously couldn’t stop himself from speaking and Hermione watched as wide—wild blue eyes shot up to take them in.

“Headmaster?” She managed timidly, stepping back to stand directly beside Severus for his warmth and radiated strength before setting her jaw and sucking a deep breath. The scent of parchment and potions ingredients helped to ground her. “I need to speak with you about what you’ve told Harry.”

“Ah yes! Harry! Neither can survive while the other lives.” He muttered for a moment unintelligibly before looking up at them and narrowing his eyes. “He is a horcrux, he must die.”

“You’re wrong, Professor.” Hermione asserted, her tone firm and Dumbledore eyed her suspiciously.

“You are one of them now, girl, you don’t know what is right for the light. I know, I know what is right...” He trailed and Hermione ran a frustrated hand through her hair.

“I’m here as a courtesy to you, Headmaster. You need help, please I think you may have been cursed if nothing else.”

“A courtesy to me! I need no courtesy from Death Eater’s whores young lady.”

“Albus.” Severus growled warningly, and Hermione pushed her arm through his, holding it tightly with her small fingers.

“How long had you planned to turn on me Severus? I never should have trusted you! You’ve even moved on from Lily with ease, on to another girl too good for you. Unfortunate that she allowed you to drag her down to your level.” The Headmaster shot back with venom and Hermione bit her lip, she eyed Severus from the corner of her eye, gauging his reaction and was surprised to see a placid look on his face. His breathing was even, though she could feel small tremors in his arm that she held.

“That’s quite enough, Headmaster. I need to know what research you have that makes you think Harry is a horcrux. What makes you believe that his mother’s love- that love which saved him- wouldn’t have protected him from being made a vessel?” Hermione shot back, trying to steer the conversation away from the Headmaster’s judgements and failing sanity.

It was beyond clear the wizard needed help. He moved to swipe the parchments from his desk and she caught sight of a gnarled, blackened hand.

A curse then.

“Voldemort killed his parents, that was all it took for the transference of his soul. How else could their connection be explained? The Parseltongue, the visions? Use your head girl!”

“With all due respect Headmaster, I am using my head. I find it hard to believe Harry could be the vessel for his soul when something so pure as his mother’s love saved him from being killed in the first place. The rebounding of the curse was enough to destroy his mortal body until he could work the magic to return himself to something that resembles rights. I believe their connection is not because Harry is a vessel but because a bond was forged to help Harry defeat him.” Hermione cocked an eyebrow. She could feel Severus staring at her, she hadn’t shared her theories with anyone, but she had found several bonds that functioned in much the same way. In fact, the Dark Mark was a visible marker of one of those bonds, it made sense then that Harry’s scar could also be a physical marker of the bond created that night between one and the other.

She even theorized that Harry never would have had the necessary abilities to defeat Voldemort if Voldemort had never sought him out and attempted to kill him.

It would have been up to the members of the Order to complete the task and there would be no chosen one. Not that she’d ever bothered to share her theories with anyone- what did they matter when what was done, was done?

“I do not believe that to be the truth.” Dumbledore grumbled and turned his back to them, an obvious- and quite rude- dismissal if Hermione had ever seen one.

“No matter what you believe, no matter how else you think you should impact the war. You need to leave Harry alone. If I hear you’ve been breaking his spirit, his will to survive this again,” her voice was nearly silent, her words filled with as much venom as Severus could ever produce. “I will tell everyone with ears about your hand, and your mistakes. You are losing your grasp, Headmaster, and you will not take the rest of us down with you.” She twirled on her heel and marched gracefully from the office, Severus on her heels.

He caught her in the hall after they’d descended the Headmaster’s stairs, her body caged between his and the wall while his mouth seared her own.


	42. XLI

Hermione stared at everyone who occupied the large sitting room of Twelve Grimmauld Place, they were all anxious to know why they were there, especially when they began to realize that Albus Dumbledore had not come but students- the members of the DA were in the room as well. Murmurs filled the stagnant air of the shoddy old manor and Hermione could see the suspicion on the faces of some members- especially those members who were also Aurors.

“I’m sure you’re all curious to know why we’ve gathered you together today, without Albus here to lead the meeting.” Harry spoke up, just as she’d instructed he kept his voice calm, but loud enough to be clear and many, many sets of eyes turned to him. He stood in front of the fireplace, eyes blazing green behind his glasses and his arms crossed behind his back as he commanded their attention.

Hermione mused on how much he’d grown, from the scrawny, abused little boy to the tall, quidditch toned man he was becoming. He ran a hand through his wild black hair and glanced to Draco who sat beside him in a tall backed chair gazing into his hands. He was uncomfortable, that much was abundantly clear. Harry settled a hand on the other man’s shoulder and returned his burning green gaze to his audience.

“The truth is the Headmaster seems to be slipping, he has made some decisions as of late that lead us to believe he is no longer completely reliable as a head of the order, or the man leading the charge in this war.” He looked to Hermione who smiled and gave an encouraging nod for him to continue. “Because of this many of us have come to the conclusion that some changes must be made.”

“What exactly are you talking about, Potter?” Moody growled out, looking agitated even as his eye spun around the room dizzyingly.

“What he’s talking about is forming a union between those students who are members of the DA, and those members of the Order who truly want to fight for the downfall of Voldemort.” Severus hissed beside her as she spoke, and she shot him a sorry glance before turning back to lock eyes with Harry.

“I don’t think it’s wise to have this conversation without at least giving Albus the opportunity to defend himself in person.” Molly Weasley was eyeing the four of them with suspicion and Hermione pursed her lips. “For all we know you have all been swayed to the side of you-know-who. You’ve experienced a lot of changes lately young lady, and you are to wed a Death Eater soon are you not?” The redhead turned her firm gaze to Harry, “and you, you’ve been cavorting about with the son of Death Eaters, how can we know for sure?”

“If I’d gone anywhere near Voldemort wouldn’t I be dead by now instead of talking with you?” Harry cocked an eyebrow, Hermione suppressed a grin.

“And honestly Molly, you know Severus has been on our side nearly since the beginning, and no matter who my parents are I still won’t stand for muggle, or muggle-born eradication.”

“And how wrong of you to judge mum! Do you truly think we would stand behind them if we believed they had changed loyalties?” Ginny spoke up, shooting a look to Ron who nodded in solidarity. Many students gave a round of agreement as well, effectively shutting up the redheaded matriarch.

“But there is the issue of Albus having no say in the matter, surely someone from the Order should discuss this with him, or at least someone outside of your group who has seen the way he’s behaved.” Arthur chimed whilst Mad-eye grumbled under his breath and several other Order Members chattered amongst themselves.

The floo flared green and Minerva McGonagall stepped through, brushing off her robes and not acknowledging Harry as he sidestepped to give her more room.

“Sorry for my tardiness.” She looked to Hermione, “Albus will be otherwise occupied for at least an hour, I must insist we all return to the school before the hour is up.”

“Thank you, Minerva.”

“You’re welcome dear girl.”

“Arthur and Molly were just sharing with us their concerns about the truthfulness of our statements against Headmaster Dumbledore.” Harry chimed, his hand on Draco’s shoulder as the other observed the back and forth.

“You’ve spoken with them of his slipping faculties, correct?” Hermione confirmed her question with a nod and the elder witch pursed her lips thoughtfully. “I see, tell them your theory then, Ms. Selwyn, and do make it quick, we haven’t long.” Minerva ushered as several sets of eyes set to darting about the room, trying to figure out exactly who she was referring to.

Hermione cleared her throat.

“Earlier this year Professor Dumbledore set off in search of a Horcrux, an item containing a part of Voldemort’s soul that allows him to cling to this plane of existence even when he should be dead. A true path to immortality he believes- anyway- this Horcrux, the ring of Tom Riddle Sr. held a powerful curse inside. When Professor Dumbledore acquired this ring he unwittingly set the curse to himself and set into a motion a course that cannot be deterred. He is going mad, crazy with power under the influence of the curse until he eventually self-destructs and takes the rest of us with him.” Hermione finished with a stern expression on her face. Cool, long fingers wrapped around her own and she shot Severus a soft smile at the comfort she understood him to be attempting to provide.

“So you’re saying Albus is cursed and there is no cure?” Arthur clarified, Moody was still grumbling- not that he’d stopped even when Hermione was talking. Git.

“That is precisely what I’m saying, and if something isn’t done he will take the whole of the Order down with him. I don’t want to see that happen, none of us do.” She looked to Harry who nodded again.

“I have a proposition. I would like for you to join us, the DA has been training extensively and we could certainly use the elder members of the Order to train those younger members of the DA, we need your expertise, your experience, and you need our strength, and our fresh outlook.” Harry held Arthur’s gaze before looking to Moody.

“You’re all children!” Molly chided.

“I’ve been saying they needed to be more involved from the start.” Moody’s gruff voice spoke up, he was looking at Harry with something that Hermione thought was a mix of irritation and pride. Severus grasped her hand more tightly.

“We’ve been planning a strategy for a month now, and I have a bit more to settle about things but I’d like if Remus and Dad could help me plan our attack.” It was Ron’s turn to speak up.

“Over my dead body!” Molly screeched, Arthur settled a hand on her shoulder.

“Now dear, let the boy do what he is best at. You have a strong strategy son?” Molly looked properly chided as Arthur spoke to Ron.

“I do.” He sounded so certain of himself that even Hermione felt a little jolt of pride. He’d grown over the course of the year, they all had.

“Severus and Lucius also have some ideas to help with winning the final battle. We need to schedule a time to meet, as well as keep the Headmaster at bay. Any ideas would be happily received via under the guise of a newspaper or other publication. Please be sure you speak amongst each other to garner the least amount of suspicion.” Hermione added.

“I would like a list of everyone who is willing to make this transition.” Harry spoke up before the room could burst with sound.

“Anyone who does not wish to join us will meet with Severus on their way to exit to make a vow of secrecy, we will not have one of you running to the Headmaster and ruining everything we’ve worked so hard to do.” Hermione raised both eyebrows as several sets of wide eyes turned to her.

“Why him!? Why at all!? This is ludicrous!” An auror Hermione was unfamiliar with shouted, appalled, and the witch shut him down with a look.

“Him because he is the best for the task, at all because I will not have our plans ruined, and it certainly is not, sir.” She pursed her lips and he glared hard, she thought he may have been fingering his wand before she felt the warm hand release her own and there was a wand hovering near her face, pointed just over her shoulder.

“I wouldn’t recommend that.” Cold, smooth tones drifted across her ears and Hermione had to fight her smile.

Oh, it was her turn to catch him after and snog him senseless.

_SS/HG_

“Bond with me, Hermione.” Severus breathed against her ear, his eyes closed as he pressed open mouthed kisses to her jaw and throat.

“Hmm, wasn’t that already the plan?” She hummed, her neck pushed back to grant him more access. They lay in their bed, his body curled almost protectively around hers as he continued to press those hot kisses across every inch of skin he could reach.

“I simply wish to reiterate the fact that I cannot imagine a life without you in it.” He trailed his tongue along her artery and she shuddered a breath, her body squirmed a bit against his.

“I love you, I’m not going anywhere.”

“It seems that all the good things in my life fail to stay.” He grunted and Hermione rolled to face him in one smooth motion, both hands grasped the sides of his face as she stared into his eyes.

“I love you.” She pressed a kiss to his lips, gentle and fleeting. “I love you.” Another to his cheek, “I love you.” Another to his forehead, “I love you.” His other cheek, “I love you.” His jaw, “I love you.” Back to his lips once more where she pressed insistently against him, her entire body seeming as if it wanted to meld with his own.

“Yes, yes, I’m beginning to come to the conclusion you do.” He smirked when she finally released him, black eyes sparkling. “I simply fear the day you come to your senses.”

Hermione grinned, kissing him soundly once more. “Tomorrow we will be bound, Severus. The only sense I see is getting rest so we don’t look frightening.”

He chuckled and wrapped her tightly in his arms, forcing her face into his chest. “Sleep, terrible girl.”


	43. XLII

_Hermione felt sick._

That was all she could really think as she stood in front of the mirror, eyes trained on the image reflected back at her. She looked…nice.

No, that wasn’t the problem at all. She wasn’t all-together certain exactly what the problem was that had her stomach rolling and rioting inside her. She felt like something was going to go wrong, something, anything, everything could go wrong!

She pressed her face to the cool surface of the glass, trying to soothe the heat in her burning cheek. The rolling nausea in her stomach couldn’t be stopped, nor could the fist that seemed to have fixed itself around her lungs, choking the air out of her and refusing to allow her to draw enough breath.

She was dizzy. Was it getting hotter? She couldn’t be certain.

“Hermione?” The door creaked open and she jumped high in the air, spinning to find herself face to face with a nearly laughing Draco Malfoy.

“Shut up.” She hissed, brown eyes wide as she stared at the blonde, the blonde who was still fighting snickers. He seemed to be calming quickly enough though.

“You look like you’ve seen a dragon.” He sniffed, coming the rest of the way into the room and shutting the door softly behind him.

“I feel like I’m about to face off with one.” She muttered, lowering herself onto the bed and pressing her forehead into her palm. “Is this really the best idea with the war? Should I really be doing this? What if everything goes wrong?” Hermione managed to babble all in one breath and she felt the bed shift with Draco’s weight coming to sit beside her.

“Everything is going to go brilliantly. This is the best thing for you and Severus and you know it. No one will be able to separate you two now, not even the git himself.” Hermione looked up to smile at him at this, her eyes tearing.

“I’m so glad you came over to our side.” She threw her arms around the blonde, her face buried in his neck as he hugged her back- though a little tensely.

“I was never on any one’s side, to be honest Hermione, and really, what would Severus think if he saw you this way. He’s in his rooms cool as ever, not even a bit of worry. It seems you’re doing enough worrying for the both of you.” He cocked a pristine blonde eyebrow, Hermione rolled her eyes.

“Right, of course he is.”

“On the inside he’s sweating his arse off.” It was Harry this time, though he simply stepped in the room and shut the door behind him, green eyes compassionate. “You look lovely Hermione, and you’ve wanted this- wanted him for a long time. It’s time, and all of us will be there for you.”

“Thanks Harry.” She swiped under her eye delicately, looking between the two. “Really, thank you both, you’ve been here with me through so much, and I know that it seems like I’ve been a real pain through it all. I’m here for you too though, I hope you know. I’ll always have your backs.”

“Yes well, as lovely as this moment is.” Draco intoned stiffly, Harry laughed and offered Hermione a hand to help her from her seated position. He wrapped her in a warm hug upon pulling her to her feet. “Gryffindors.” The blonde rolled his eyes, earning a laugh before his boyfriend tugged him into the hug as well.

“You Slytherins love it, and you know it. You just hate to admit it.” Harry winked at Draco and looked to Hermione who was no longer chalky pale and now had a healthy pink glow to her cheeks.

“Yes well. If you insist.” Draco waved him off before he turned back to Hermione. “I cannot believe your grandparents found this gown on such short notice. It really is gorgeous on you.” He motioned to the mirror and Hermione turned her eyes back to the sight there.

“You don’t think it’s too extravagant for the handfasting? I worried it was too much.” She smoothed the bodice, her eyes fixed on the image in the mirror. It really was a lovely dress, more than she’d expected. Apparently, it had been purchased for her mother’s bonding ceremony with her father, the ceremony that never happened because they’d both died.

Her mother’s dress, her dress. She could still hardly believe how much her life had changed in the short span of less than a year.

“It’s magnificent, and it means something to you. You look beautiful and nothing else matters.” Harry smiled at her through the mirror, his arm around Draco who nodded. She could only hope Severus thought the same.

_SS/HG_

Severus stood, completely still, in an attempt to look unaffected as he waited in the garden of Selwyn Manor. There was an elaborate arch behind him crafted by Madam Selwyn, deep purple lilies entwined with the darkest lavender he’d ever seen woven into the arch. There were fairy lights, flowing tapestries of the softest silk that swayed in the makeshift tent, and the grass was topped with another delicate silken runner for his Hermione to walk down. His Hermione.

Merlin it was such an unusual thing. Soon she would be his completely, his wife, his bonded, his mate. She was already his everything, it hadn’t truly hit him until this moment how much deeper that would feel when she was bound to him forever. For as long as he was alive she would be his bride.

They’d invited only a select few. Lucius and Narcissa, Draco, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley. Minerva would be the one to hand Hermione to him, an odd muggle tradition that Hermione had thoroughly insisted upon. Madam and Master Selwyn sat at the front, the former patting her eyes while the latter watched held her close to his side. Hermione’s bodyguard was there as well, sitting on Madam Selwyn’s other side. He’d almost forgotten about the hulking mass of wizard who’d only stopped watching over Hermione just before she’d been attacked, and then been settled at her side as soon as she’d been able to leave his rooms.

He fought the urge to fidget when a wand flicked, Ginevra Weasley’s, and Potter and Draco raced to their seats, crashing and pounding in true teenage boy fashion. He rolled his eyes and took a deep, imperceptible breath. It was starting.

It was a good thing he’d taken that breath, when Hermione appeared, stepping between the flowing fabric of the tent’s door his entire body locked. All he could understand was the glory that stood mere paces away from him. Her hair was curled, clipped back elegantly, some of the short locks loose to fall around her face. She wore little makeup, just the way he favored her, but there was dark khol around her coffee colored eyes.

Her figure in her gown was exquisite, the way the crushed velvet flowed and fell across her supple curves, the sheer spider silk cloak that fell softly to drag the floor behind her, the hood draped just so over her head, the white of the crushed velvet that flowed behind her. The way her pinked, milky skin peeked around the collar, her sharp collarbone and slender neck, full lips made fuller by her biting them in worry.

Her eyes were glittering, her entire body facing his as she came closer, and closer, until finally she was within reach. He wanted to snatch her away, run with her and never look back.

Gods what had he done to deserve such a gift?

“Severus.” Minerva intoned, snapping his attention back to the situation, where they were- what was happening. Hermione’s slender hand was held out to him and he took it delicately in his own.

“Thank you.” Did his voice crack? He was almost certain it did.

Hermione flushed, her eyes glittering as she looked up at him, coming to stand across from him. He grasped her other hand in his, holding both of their hands together.

He was vaguely aware of Minerva taking her seat. Of words being said, agreements being made. He watched her lips move as she pledged her life to him, her magic to his.

He pledged his as well when it came his turn, his life, his magic, his love, his everything.

He watched with a numb sort of interest as the chords were wrapped around first their left hands, and then their right. Magically absorbed into their skin, tight, tingling, burning just near the surface. An awareness of _her_.

“I love you.” She said, staring up at him, there was clapping, there were cheers from rowdy students.

He didn’t care, he could only see, feel, hear her.

“I love you as well.” And he bent to kiss her lips, a soft touch, a press, and then a claiming that drew her body against his. His. She was his.

Forever his.

“I think that’s quite enough my friend.” Lucius’ hand was on his shoulder and he turned from Hermione with a smirk, black eyes meeting glimmering grey. “Congratulations.”

The world came rushing back to him. That was right, he had to survive a reception, a celebration, before he could take her home and make her his completely.

Merlin, how was he ever to survive?


	44. XLIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been dealing with some pretty heavy mental health issues so please forgive the long wait and short update. I'm taking baby steps towards writing regularly again.

XLIII

  
The dancing had not been something either of them had anticipated. Instead it had been insisted upon by Hermione’s grandparents. The Selwyns had been adamant the pair share a dance and Hermione was glad for it now that she found herself pressed body to body with Severus.

There was an intensity to the moment, staring into his eyes, spinning about on the dance floor.

“You’ve been quiet.” Hermione sighed as she looked up into those overwhelming obsidian eyes. The fabric of his dress robes was soft under her fingers where they pressed into his shoulders. 

“I find myself overwhelmed.” Hermione moved her hands up, up until her fingers were pressed against the warm skin of his neck.

“Oh…” She paused, lips pursed. “Oh Severus, you aren’t, you aren’t having second thoughts, are you?” her stomach clenched at the same time his hands on her waist tightened.

“Never, never had I believed I would find this, that I would have this- you.” He spoke quietly, his lips nearly touching her ear as he held her body closer. “You are my everything, Hermione. I love you beyond fathomable measure, I could never regret this, us.”

Hermione felt herself sag against him with relief, her face pressed against his chest.

“Don’t scare me like that.” She laughed, voice muffled against his dress robes as he wrapped her tightly in his arms, their sway slowly ceasing. “Can we go home now?”

“Gods yes.” Severus grasped more tightly, if it were possible, his mouth pressed against her throat open and warm. A chill raced down her spine, her body shivered in response.

_SS/HG_

Hermione sighed, the feeling of a hot mouth open against her shoulders, her neck. His hot breath skimmed her ear and she shook against him, her eyes closed, and lips parted with little sounds of desperation escaping them.

“I knew you’d be beautiful.” Severus mouthed against the moist flesh of the valley of her breasts.

“Severus.” She huffed, desperation bled into her tone and her brows furrowed in concentration.

Warm hands smoothed down her sides, rough calluses scraping and biting her tender flesh. It was a sensory overload of breath, lips, hands, so much more than she could process, so much more sensation than she could ever remember experiencing.

Finally, when she thought she could handle no more he was ascending her body, kissing his way up to her swollen lips to urge more and more punishing kisses against her tender lips. She cried out with joy, with surreal bliss when he pressed himself inside her trembling core. Her eyes closed, lips parted, and she surged forward to push her lips against his once more, crying out against his mouth, shielded by the curtain of his long black hair.

_SS/HG_

Hermione lay with her head against her husband’s chest, listening to the soft pitter-pat of his heart. She held her breath to better her hearing and smiled softly to herself. Her husband.

She was bonded, forever to be with the one man for her. The one she needed for the rest of her life.

“You should sleep.” His voice, sleep roughened startled her into taking a breath and she laughed, her eyes closing as she pressed her lips to his bare chest in a loud smacking kiss.

“On my first night as a bonded witch?” She sighed, “I think not.”  
His arms tightened around her, holding her against him almost aggressively.

“No one will ever take you from me now.” He husked, Hermione laughed softly at his words.

“If I recall correctly you were the only one to attempt keeping us apart.”

“Hush now, go to sleep Dove, we have much to do tomorrow.” She could hear the smirk in his voice and rolled her eyes.

“Can’t I make love to my husband once more?”

“Perhaps, if you are very nice.” He chuckled, the sound vibrated against her cheek before she pulled herself up to hover above him, her eyes closing as she dipped to press her lips against his.

“Oh, I will be very, very nice to you.” She managed to swing one slender leg over his narrow hips and rocked against him.

“Ah my little Dove, I’ve no doubt of that.” He groaned when Hermione rose, her hips falling onto his and impaling herself on his length. “Merlin!” He huffed, and thrust forward, lost to his little wife’s wonderful attentions.

 


End file.
